Once there was a restaurant - a very popular one. It was called The Donkey Diner. The owners and managers created a menu that catered to a wide variety of people. You couldn’t find everything on the menu you liked and no one was completely happy with it, but there was enough selection to keep you coming back and that is what made it a success. And the prices weren’t that bad, either. Not surprisingly, the eatery attracted people from varying walks of life, ethnic backgrounds, and economic classes.
At some point, a few of the patrons felt the menu lacked a sufficient amount of items they liked and some of the dishes weren’t prepared they way they thought they should be, so they began complaining to the management. The management said, “hey, look, we’re trying to make everyone happy. But naturally, if a type of menu item is popular, we feature more of it. If a dish just isn’t selling well, we’re not going to push it.”
This explanation didn’t set well with the dissatisfied patrons, so they decided (in the spirit of true competition) to start their own restaurant. But they really couldn’t agree on how to do it, which resulted in several little diners opening and closing on various street corners. Soon, the complaining former patrons began to think it was unfair that the big restaurant they used to go to was so popular that it prevented other ones from having a chance at success. So they hatched a plan.
They began returning to the big restaurant. Eventually a few of them applied for, and got, management positions. Soon thereafter, they began calling themselves “the real managers” of the restaurant and tried altering the menu to better fit their tastes. This experiment, though successful at times, ultimately backfired. The rival restaurant across the street, the one they’d competed with for years, began to attract more customers. Soon, that shiny eatery with the assorted menu began losing money. The newer managers, the original complainers, looked to blame everyone else but themselves. Their justification was if the restaurant had concentrated even more on the items they’d wanted, instead of making a few concessions here and there, the business loss wouldn’t have happened.
But the original owners and managers knew better. Which brings us to today. The newer managers, and the newer patrons who like them, are wondering whether to support a manager applicant who does things the old way or support one who does things their new way.
Some are even suggesting they start their own restaurant. Again.
The managers, unable to reconcile their confusion, decided to bring in a new chef; one who had a basis in the traditions of the past, but with a firm grasp of the needs of today. She began by restoring the best recipes from the past - those that her patrons had desired for so long. Then she began adding new items - ones that proved to be popular with her fans, and added others, though not as popular, that proved in the long run to be winners.
Everyone was not happy - she had been forced to fire a number of older, entrenched employees that had settled into a pattern that seemed to be unproductive. These people complained, and the townspeople who did not appreciate her changes complained as well. She listened, and applied the knowledge she gained from their complaints to her menu.
The new chef persevered, and her restaurant prospered. The managers who hired her prospered as well, and the townspeople saw the rise of a new restaurant that they could be proud of.
Then one day a new restaurant investor happened into town. He saw the successful Donkey Diner. But he noticed it did everything possible with a left bias. The doors opened to the left. The female chief and all her people were left handed. People were only allowed to sit on the left side of the tables. Lastly, he discovered that only half the people were happy, but did’t really know why.
He knew why.
He opened a huge Elephant Eatery next door to the Donkey Diner. All doors opened to the right. The Male chef was right handed as was his crew. People were only allowed to sit on the right side of tables, and so on.
The Elephant grew as popular, taking half the business while the Donkey retained the other half. All customers were now happy. They all lived happily ever after, until Moslems came into town and gleefully beheaded them all.
The End.
Grimgold
Visit donkeydiner.com in Coral Bay, St. John, VI. A liberal enclave with 3 conservatives, one of which ironically owns the Donkey Diner.
Peace out through strength.