BartBlog

Over at Scribe’s internet home: LT Saloon, Scribe has noticed there’s this neat little feature offering, mostly, anonymous quotes: anonymous if you’re too lazy to click like like Scribe. But Scribe isn’t too lazy to respond.

“Learn Spanish! Jesus is coming.”

Scribe…

“That’s what the lonely housewife said who lived in a hispanic slum.”

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“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.”

Scribe…

“Or when you get caught by Albert ‘slipping’ out his bedroom after ‘visiting’ his wife.”

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“Apathy: I could take it or leave it.”

Scribe…

“Huh? What? Don’t care.”

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“I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.”

Scribe…

“Scribe’s lawn must be a ‘Moe:’ it always insists on a bad haircut.”

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“Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.”

Scribe…

“Oh, was that you standing on the corner in the short red skirt and laced pantyhose selling sarcasm?”

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“After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say I want to see the manager.”

Scribe…

“And he would say, ‘Just pay the money for your three hours worth of a lifetime and shut the hell up like everyone else. Mirrors and vibrating bed are extra.’”

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“I’d like to meet the person who invented sex, and see what they’re working on now.”

Scribe…

“Celibacy.”

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“Where is the rapture when you need it?”

Scribe…

“Just elect little closer more ReTHUGlicans and you might find out.”

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“The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years”

Scribe…

“What about the horny, delusional, perv who got slapped for hearing voices coming out of a bush?”

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“My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in most states.”

Scribe…

“Scribe’s is like a well oiled machine. Now where did he put that well oiled machine he bought that promised male enhancement?”

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“Never believe generalizations.”

Scribe…

“Could you be more specific?”

OR

“Not true. For instance: a pot watched by Biggus Dickus never boils. He’s too busy stirring it with his… “