[Is lavish praise of hypocrisy an example of irony in action?]
In the future, will historians specializing in the study of hypocrisy look back at Inauguration Day 2009 as the end of the Golden Age of Hypocrisy?
Democrats tend to see religious leaders who are outraged when a President gets a blow-job, but blissfully tolerant of invasions and torture, as an outstanding example of hypocrisy at its best. Republicans, of course, do not see it as an inconsistency in logic, but regard it as the duty of patriotic Christians to condemn immorality and condone preemptive acts of self defense.
El Rushbo thinks that the Democrats owe undying allegiance to a Republican President, but think that hoping a (black) Democratic President fails is not covered by the need for unquestioning obedience to precept that the Commander-in-chief must not be thwarted in his efforts to wage the war on terror.
Senator John McCain helped the Republicans produce economic chaos which eliminated (at a conservative estimation) hundreds of American jobs, but will not support the new President’s economic stimulus program because it will not produce enough jobs to satisfy his sympathy for the plight of the jobless.
Republicans insist that the WMD in Iraq haven’t been found yet. They conveniently overlook the implication that if that is true then the American military has done a piss-poor job of conducting the search.
Republicans think that wearing designer clothes with a tramp motif is a way of showing a “we’re all in this together” display of sympathy for the down-and-outers.
Democrats think that when the American philosophy about war crimes is outlined by the lead prosecutor at Nuremberg and contradicted by American military action, there is some inconsistency in philosophy being displayed. Republicans are aghast when Democrats fail to follow the minute intricacies of semantics which delineate the subtleties which differentiate the two examples.
Republicans favor bumper sticker short philosophies, but have no qualms about long-winded convoluted explanations for some of Bush’s actions.
Conservative radio personality Mike Savage repeatedly accuses Democrats of admiring it as being a display of creativity when a baby smears feces on a wall, but thinks that Bush has created a masterpiece of foreign policy during his term in office and is not reluctant to express his admiration for it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” Therefore inconsistency, such as exemplified by the Republicans, is to be greatly admired.
Now, the disk jockey will play the Lovin’ Spoonful’s song, “Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?” It’s time for this columnist to move along, isn’t it? Have a “sort of” nice week.
Bush Executive Order Overturned Ninth Commandment
[Do you recognize sarcasim when you see it?]
A review of George W. Bush’s Presidential Executive Orders has found that the Ninth Commandment has been overturned and it is now OK to tell lies.
Good Christina youths, who have always been subject to parental manipulation via the religious directive to always tell the truth as a matter of honor, followed by some very personal question about chastity and pot use, can now emulate the Commander-in-Chief and tell as many lies as it takes to get off the hook.
Lies make life so much easier.
If you want to start a war, just say that some country has terrible atomic weapons and are just about to use them and that you have no choice but to counter-attack under the principles of self-defense.
Need to do you buddies a big favor? Just say that a bail out of the banks is essential to save the economy.
Need to bust the unions? Just say that the unions’ selfish attitude will prolong the New Depression.
Need to avoid prosecution for torturing prisoners of war? Just say that you saved American live with the information you received via “extreme” questioning.
Need to cover it up when torture has become endemic? Just blame it on a few enlisted people.
Need to win an election? Just say that paperless voting machines are scrupulously accurate.
Need to show the world that you are not a subservient Bush family media whore? Just endorse Jeb without any reference to Broward Savings and Loan.
Need . . . ? Just tell women that you aren’t married.
Need a sales bonus? Just tell gullible folks that variable rate mortgages are a good idea.
If your children become unmanageable because they lie all the time, tell them that the story about an executive order overturning the Ninth commandment is a fallacious urban legend.
Winston Churchill once said: “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.” So if you wanna go far; you know whatcha gotta do.
Now, the disk jockey is going to play George Jones’ “God’s Gonna Get You for That.” It’s time to take a flight on a magic carpet. Have an “Are you going to believe me or your eyes?” type week.
Wait! The disk jockey is making a last minute change and is sending this one out just for George W. Bush:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0EQlQXoEo