April 4, 2008
The Tattlesnake – Sly Like a Fox News Edition
Properly Framing McCain and Rupert’s Little Joke
“The press loves McCain. We’re his base.”
– Chris Matthews, MSNBC, Sept. 10, 2006.
What’s with the New Hire at MSNBC the other afternoon, hosting a senior member of John McCain’s entourage for a free 15-minute campaign commercial disguised as an interview? The vacuous cheerleader, while following the Big Media diktat of having McCainites on unimpeded by disagreeable Dems who might raise doubts or rudely break out laughing at the GOP candidate’s hapless flip-flopping, forgot to curtsey appropriately and properly word her sole question of any substance.
While in the first part of her question she observed the standard BM structure when addressing Big Mac or his affiliates, she didn’t quite genuflect enough at the end: “Well, we all know what he meant by that ‘hundred years in Iraq’ remark, but could you clarify Sen. McCain’s position a little more for our audience?”
Listen, kid, you want a future in this business, you’re going to have to frame your questions better. The preferred form of respectful recumbence would have been: “I’m so sorry to trouble you with this, I truly am, but just in case any of our viewers may have gotten the wrong impression and thought that Sen. McCain actually said that we should occupy Iraq for a hundred years – which we all know is just so untrue and unfair – could you please clarify his position on this, please, sir?”
And make sure not to play any video clips contradicting the McCain flack’s answer, as you would with a lowly Democrat or other political trash. She also only called him a ‘War Hero’ twice – in a quarter-hour spot, that phrase should be repeated at least six times, along with the words ‘maverick’ and some variation of ‘straight-talk.’ Usage example: “Next up, an interview with war hero John McCain’s campaign manager. He’s here to deliver some straight talk from our nationally-beloved political maverick who toughed it out as a POW for six years during the Vietnam War, making him the logical choice for our next commander-in-chief!”
For further tips, consult Ana Marie Cox’s new book, “Obsequious – On the Campaign Trail with That Lovable Old Sweetie-Pie, War Hero John McCain.”
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April 3, 2008
Republican Senator Discovers Federal Reserve’s “socialist” Agenda
Andrew Leonard, Salon, April 3, 2008
How many times in his career do you suppose Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has been accused of carrying out an insidious socialist agenda?
My bet is Thursday’s Senate Banking Committee hearing investigating the Bear-Stearns “rescue” was the first.
Before testimony from the witnesses, who included Bernanke, New York Federal Reserve Bank president Timothy Geithner, Bear-Stearns CEO Alan Schwarz and JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, had even begun, the assembled Senators had the opportunity to make their throat-clearing opening statements. Most of the Senators came down on the side of supporting the Fed’s ultimate decision, but wondering exactly how it transpired and what the future implications for regulating Wall Street’s financial institutions would be.
But Senator Jim Bunning, R-Ky., expressed a profound state of alarm:
I am very troubled by the failure of Bear Stearns, and I do not like the idea of the Fed getting involved in a bailout of that company.
But before making a final judgment, I want to hear from our witnesses why they thought it was necessary to stop the invisible hand of the market from delivering discipline.
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Moby’s Take On Last Night
Maybe Moby sensed it himself, and, rejecting complacency, set himself some ambitious goals with Last Night, a concept album that serves as a nostalgic trip down clubland lane. (more…)
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Ye Olde Scribe Presents: The Perpetual Prisoner… a Very Short Story
The prisoner was tortured, tormented, and even decided to stay in jail to be with his men… even though he was given the option to leave by his captors. Was that just an excuse? Was he: like too many prisoners of war, beginning to feel sympathy for his captors? Once upon a time Scribe would have questioned that suggestion, but as of late it seems like maybe the prisoner has been where he is now in life before.
Eventually he left that prison, though it never left him. Eventually he felt the anger, the horror of what had happened to him. He worked his way up to a very important position in society so maybe he might speak for those who had been brutalized like himself.
An evil cabal started their own campaign against the prisoner. They lied about him. They convinced millions that he had cracked under the pressure when he was a captive. They made sure the bigots, the ignorant and the gullible hated him for a child that was not his: a child he had shown mercy and compassion towards… for to the cabal compassion was viewed as but weakness… to be punished: never rewarded, They slapped him around again, and again, and again, and again. They beat him down. They humiliated him. They thrashed him with their words much like a master whips a slave who dares to show even a smidgen of independence.
If one reads 1984, one understands that Big Brother’s goal is to make sure you become like a robot unto the cause, and that you’re willing to have others tormented as you have been. Then they let you loose: a weapon no longer able to slightly understand that those who you have finally set you “free” are the true enemy: the evil beyond comprehension that must be eliminated. Instead, you become much like the planes that flew into the towers, the bombs that dropped on Hiroshima… just a machine willing to do the master’s bidding.
Thus began the 2008 candidacy of John McCain.
May God, the Great Pumpkin, or whatever; whomever you worship… or not… have mercy on us.
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IN MOURNING
MOURN WITH ME
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved
old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for
sure how old he was since his birth records
were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated
such valuable lessons as knowing when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and
maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don’t spend more than
you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after
lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents
attacked teachers for doing the job they
themselves failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer
Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a
student – but could not inform the parents
when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the
Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses, and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in
your own home and the burglar can sue
you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to
live after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled
a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded
a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by
his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.
He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know
My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and
I’m A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because
so few realized he was gone.
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WHO KNOCKED UP THE PREGNANT MAN?
Oregon Man Says He’s Pregnant
Transgendered Man Has Had Chest Reconstruction, Testosterone Therapy
March 25, 2008
BEND, Ore. AP — An Oregon man is five months pregnant, according to a national magazine.
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Bob Barr Plans to Run for President as a Libertarian
Liberty Maven, April 4, 2008
Bob Barr is reportedly ready to announce his candidacy for the Libertarian Party Presidential nomination Saturday during his speech at the Heartland Libertarian Conference in Kansas City. This has been rumored for quite a long time, and now seems like a certainty.
Bob Barr was a guest on Sean Hannity’s radio program yesterday and was accused by Hannity of handing the White House to the Democratic nominee. Barr had nothing of that saying, “If McCain is not able to pull enough votes to win outright, then shame on him” and he is “tired of hearing all the whining”.
Barr will pull in a sizable portion of the almost 1 million Ron Paul supporters. He will pull votes from the Democrat because of his civil liberties advocacy. He will pull votes from John McCain because of his conservative roots. If he were to get the Libertarian nomination, he could conceivably get more votes than any Libertarian candidate in history.
The idea that his candidacy will lead to the Democrat winning the White House; I’m not buying it. There seems to be only one publication willing to agree with me. Everyone else sees it as a foregone conclusion that a Barr run equates to a Democratic win. I suppose we’ll find out if there is a chance of this on Saturday following Barr’s speech.
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