BartBlog

August 6, 2008

FAUX NEWS – FAUX KFC

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — kerry @ 5:36 pm

faux-kfc.jpg

Fox News declares that the war in Iraq was worth it because Baghdad has a KFC now. Never mind that its a counterfeit KFC.

KFC In Fallujah? Too Finger-Licking Good To Be True

By jelliott – August 4, 2008, 5:12PM

Last Thursday, Fox News ran a brief segment on a KFC restaurant opening in Fallujah before segueing into an interview with former CENTCOM Commander Tommy Franks, who was asked to comment on the presence of an American fast food restaurant in the notoriously violent Iraqi city. “Do they have a drive-thru window?” Steve Doocy asks. “They get in and get out. And, so far, they do it safely,” answers Brian Kilmeade:

KFC in Fallugah  VIDEO CLIP    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raZqMTiqDZM

Now, call us cynical, but something about that segment seemed off — oddly upbeat even. On Friday I put in a call to KFC headquarters

(more…)

July 11, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Gramm Cracker of Dunder, Jesse’s Fake Thunder, and Obama’s FISA Blunder Edition

– An Early Xmas Present for Obama: They don’t come much dumber than former GOP Texas Sen. Phil Gramm, the UBS corporate shill who is the McCain campaign’s senior economic advisor, and he proved it July 10th by calling America “a nation of whiners” for complaining about the miserable state of the Bush Boy’s economy that he helped craft when he was in the senate. McCain quickly jetted away from Gramm’s remarks, denying they represented his opinion, but he notably didn’t fire the fifth Mutant Ninja Turtle from his campaign. Gramm, finally noticing he had wet his pants at the dance, attempted to back track, claiming desperately that he meant the leaders of the country, not the citizens, but think about it – how is that better? After all, isn’t McCain trumpeting himself as a leader of the country? He just called the War Hero he works for a whiner? I can see this line replayed on Dem oppo ads in the fall to show just how boneheaded and crass the Republicans really are. Crawl inside your shell, Phil, and hope they don’t roll you on your back before you arrive home in Stupidville.

(more…)

April 4, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Sly Like a Fox News Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:59 am

Properly Framing McCain and Rupert’s Little Joke

“The press loves McCain. We’re his base.”
– Chris Matthews, MSNBC, Sept. 10, 2006.

What’s with the New Hire at MSNBC the other afternoon, hosting a senior member of John McCain’s entourage for a free 15-minute campaign commercial disguised as an interview? The vacuous cheerleader, while following the Big Media diktat of having McCainites on unimpeded by disagreeable Dems who might raise doubts or rudely break out laughing at the GOP candidate’s hapless flip-flopping, forgot to curtsey appropriately and properly word her sole question of any substance.

While in the first part of her question she observed the standard BM structure when addressing Big Mac or his affiliates, she didn’t quite genuflect enough at the end: “Well, we all know what he meant by that ‘hundred years in Iraq’ remark, but could you clarify Sen. McCain’s position a little more for our audience?”

Listen, kid, you want a future in this business, you’re going to have to frame your questions better. The preferred form of respectful recumbence would have been: “I’m so sorry to trouble you with this, I truly am, but just in case any of our viewers may have gotten the wrong impression and thought that Sen. McCain actually said that we should occupy Iraq for a hundred years – which we all know is just so untrue and unfair – could you please clarify his position on this, please, sir?”

And make sure not to play any video clips contradicting the McCain flack’s answer, as you would with a lowly Democrat or other political trash. She also only called him a ‘War Hero’ twice – in a quarter-hour spot, that phrase should be repeated at least six times, along with the words ‘maverick’ and some variation of ‘straight-talk.’ Usage example: “Next up, an interview with war hero John McCain’s campaign manager. He’s here to deliver some straight talk from our nationally-beloved political maverick who toughed it out as a POW for six years during the Vietnam War, making him the logical choice for our next commander-in-chief!”

For further tips, consult Ana Marie Cox’s new book, “Obsequious – On the Campaign Trail with That Lovable Old Sweetie-Pie, War Hero John McCain.”

(more…)

March 11, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Fired Tuck Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:11 am

Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson is not even a misbegotten American journalist’s idea of a journalist — it’s a laughable enigma how this spoiled son-of-privilege ever ended up on television pretending to be one. He’s as much a slab of tasteless turkey as any his relatives have ever slapped on an aluminum tray with lumpy gravy and called a meal, and his on-air snippy condescension, mixed with his sniggering crested-blazer boarding school style, added up to such a wince-inducing media presence that you have to wonder if his well-heeled family owns stock in the company. “Give my little nephew a job on your TV thingy.” “Sure thing! Does he have a bow-tie?”

Finally, after months of rumors, MSNBC cut the cord March 10 on Tucker’s daily hour-long Dork-a-thon, although the cable station has lamentably promised Carlson will continue to annoy viewers with his occasional political analysis – a sly short-pants conservative bookend to Pat Buchanan’s raspy ‘Incredible Shrinking White Man’ dementia.

(more…)

« Newer Posts

Powered by WordPress