BartBlog

April 15, 2010

Making Sure the Last Perv Priest to Leave the Room Turns Off the Lights

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 11:48 am

“‘Jesus loved the little children.’ But not THAT way.”

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“The last man to the door is a rotten pope!”

The Tattlesnake – Word on the Street Edition

In the spirit of the late Mike Royko’s Slats Grobnik, here are comments from the unFoxed Vox Populi:

– L.A. Mike, who was born and lived in Los Angeles for most of his life, on the Republicans paying $2K for simulated lesbian bondage at the Voyeur Club:

“What wrong with those dudes? It’s really stupid. For half that price in L.A. you could rent a motel room, hire a couple of hookers, see the same show up close and join in if you felt like it. You’d even have enough left for a bottle of some primo liquor. That’s really a stupid waste of money.”

– V.J., a small business owner for over 20 years, on Obama’s tax plan:

“I’m a middle-class small business owner and everybody was telling me, ‘watch out, Obama’s gonna raise your taxes!’ I just got my tax forms back from my accountant and I’m paying $800 less this year than last, and he specifically said it was thanks to two deductions Obama put through. If this is Obama’s big tax increase for the middle-class, keep it coming!”

– Anna, who worked in state government for 20 years, on Sarah Palin:

“I don’t get it – how do you quit as governor and then pass yourself off as a winner? How do you tell other families to practice abstinence when your own kid gets pregnant when she’s underage? Why does anybody take her seriously?”

– Al, who worked at a mail order firm, on the ruthless corporate culture:

“Worked at the same job for 12 years. We heard the rumor that company was being sold, but my boss, the owner of the company, looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never sell and I’d always have a job there. Six months later we’re all fired and the owner makes off with a fortune from selling the company. I asked one of the ladies in accounting what happened – the S.O.B. was in the process of selling the company the very day he told me that B.S. that he’d never sell! The lady said he lied because he didn’t want people quitting to take other jobs before the new owner took over – wanted to squeeze every dime out of the place, even if it left us flat. He lied to my face and I thought this man was my friend!”

– Vernon, who managed an office for 10 years, talks about Michael Steele’s RNC spending:

“I’ll tell you this: If I had been charging anything from Tiffany’s or the liquor store to ‘office supplies,’ and I had approved an expenditure of a couple grand to a strip club, there would have been about two minutes before I was fired and out on the street. I don’t know how he gets away with it.”

– Lily, a waitress at an upscale restaurant, on GOP tax cuts:

“Why doesn’t the media ever call these guys out? They get up there, these Republicans, always talking about tax cuts and they’re rich as fuck! Sure, they want tax cuts – for themselves! Yeah, I got my little piddley-ass tax cut from Bush, and the price of everything went up, including my state taxes, so I went way further in the hole. They really treat us like we’re too dumb to know what they’re doing. Fuckers!”

– Rory, who once worked at a mental health facility, on the Teabaggers:

“These people must all have Alzheimer’s like Reagan. They don’t remember we had big deficits and big government under Republicans since Reagan? They don’t remember Reagan bailed out the savings and loans in the 1980s? I didn’t see them out there screaming and yelling then. They think the shitty economy started under Obama? Give me a break. They just hate him cause he’s black. These tea party people should go to their doctors and be tested for Alzheimer’s – they’ve definitely lost it. I mean if they can afford a head doctor on their fixed incomes — oh, wait a sec, Medicare will pay for that, so they’re covered!”

April 14, 2010

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 4:13 pm

“Nothing is more enjoyable, Sam I am, than a great order of green eggs and SPAM.”

Sent to Scribe’s E-box by Mrs. Scribe…

SAYING GOODBYE TO MOTHER…

You don’t have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don’t even have to like ‘em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.

We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid witch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a– downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”

The cab driver hit a parked car.

April 13, 2010

The Catholic Church’s Divine Right?

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April 12, 2010

The America of Profits Over People Equals Death

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April 11, 2010

Would Palin Really Like to Compare Her Experience on Nukes with Obama’s?

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“Now, the president, with all the vast nuclear experience that he acquired as a community organizer and as a part-time senator, and as a full-time candidate, all that experience, still no accomplishment to date with North Korea and Iran.”
– Sarah Palin at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference, April 9, 2010, as quoted by Media Matters.

In fact, as Media Matters points out, as a US senator, Obama traveled overseas to investigate nuclear stockpiles in other nations, co-sponsored a nuclear non-proliferation bill with Republican Sen. Richard Lugar in 2005, introduced another bill, the Nuclear Weapons Threat Reduction Act (S.1977) in 2007, and did his college thesis on Soviet nuclear disarmament long before entering politics. Actually, the Nobel committee cited Obama’s lengthy record of trying to limit nuclear weapons as one of the reasons he received the Nobel Peace Prize last year.

What experience does Sarah Palin have in this area? Zip, zilch and zero.

If I were an inexperienced beauty pageant contestant like Palin I wouldn’t get snarky about anyone else’s lack of experience in anything – it only tends to remind the public – that large majority who aren’t part of your personality cult – of how vacuous and ignorant you really are.

BTW, Bush, Cheney and the GOP had eight years to ‘accomplish’ something in regards to Iran and North Korea. What did they have to show for it? Increased atomic and missile warhead testing by the N.K. and an accelerated nuclear program by Iran, in response to Republican threats of invasion. Obama’s been in office for a year; let’s see what he accomplishes in eight.

April 10, 2010

Obama’s Radical Liberal Socialist Agenda Revealed

Is this his horrible liberal socialist agenda laid bare?

“The legitimate object of Government is to do for a community of people whatever they need to have done but cannot do at all, or cannot so well do, for themselves in their separate and individual capacities. But in all that people can individually do as well for themselves, Government ought NOT to interfere.”

“In all those things which deal with people, be liberal, be human. In all those things which deal with people’s money, or their economy, or their form of government, be conservative.”

“The purpose … is to establish and maintain a peaceful world and build at home a dynamic prosperity in which every citizen fairly shares. We shall ever build anew, that our children and their children, without distinction because of race, creed or color, may know the blessings of our free land.”

“We believe that basic to governmental integrity are unimpeachable ethical standards and irreproachable personal conduct by all people in government. We shall continue our insistence on honesty as an indispensable requirement of public service. We shall continue to root out corruption whenever and wherever it appears.”

“We are proud of and shall continue our far-reaching and sound advances in matters of basic human needs—expansion of social security—broadened coverage in unemployment insurance —improved housing—and better health protection for all our people. We are determined that our government remain warmly responsive to the urgent social and economic problems of our people.”

To find out what left-wing radical wrote this socialist manifesto, read below.

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YOS Productions Presents: Pop Quiz

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 3:04 am

“If you flunk this one, go back to nursery school.”

Barack Obama is about to nominate a Supreme Court Justice. Extreme Right-tards, like Beckus Schmeckus, Handjob Hannity, the mentally deficient Michelle twins Muckup Malkin or BLEECH Bachmann will declare him/her to be…

1. A socialist, commie or Nazi
2. Extreme left wing
3. Will destroy the nation
4. Immoral
5. A respectable choice, though they still oppose them on principle
6. All of the above except #5

Barack Obama will appoint…

1. A moderate, at best
2. Someone more like a liberal Republican than a Democrat
3. Someone who he thinks will satisfy the Right, but won’t
4. Someone who he thinks should offend no one
5. A fire breathing lefty
6. All of the above, except #5

Note: if you answered #5 to any of the above, get a brain, Scarecrow. If you passed, then Pop says, “Go ahead and dance!”
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Ye Olde Scribe’s Incredible, Inedible Quote Machine

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 2:45 am

“Almost as powerful as the war machine. ALMOST.”

“Why is it the last words in a war movie are ‘The End,” but actual war it has to be to cries of ‘End the?’ Is the public dyslexic, or is it just that politicians usually have it all backwards to begin with?”

-A-non-E-moose

April 9, 2010

The C Street Gang: A GOP Scandal That Won’t Go Away

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April 8, 2010

Gov. Bob McDonnell, Southern Partisan Cracker Cover Boy

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April 6, 2010

Sarah Palin Will Split the GOP Apart in 2012

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April 5, 2010

The Impossible Cheney Dream?

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:18 am

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April 4, 2010

The Tattlesnake — The Teabaggers Should Thank Liberals Edition

Aging Tea Partiers a Jaw-Dropping Example of Stupidity and Ingratitude

“It’s the same with narrow-minded people as it is with narrow-necked bottles: the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out.”
– Anonymous, from Planet Proctor 2010-7.

Most of the gray-haired Teabaggers are snapping, snarling and filled with rage but, like a dog driven mad by rabies, they are mindless in their wrath and blinded by their disease. They should stop and think who they have to thank for that Social Security check they receive at the beginning of every month. (Hint: it’s not the pretentious pecksniffs of the faux-populist GOP or the bedeviled bellowers of the Right-Wing Noise Machine they so assiduously follow.)

Steve Benen’s piece below is consistent with my own anecdotal exposure to the Teabaggers – they are mainly retired whites who watch Fox News and then gripe bitterly about the government from the comfort of their La-Z-Boy loungers while they collect their Social Security checks, pay their doctor bills via Medicare, and take advantage of housing and other discounts for seniors subsidized by the taxpayer. Many are also ex-military and not only received a government check while they were on active duty, but live off vets benefits provided by the government they despise. They especially loathe the evil liberals who proposed and passed that legislation so that they wouldn’t be eating out of garbage cans, dependent on their children, or dying in poor houses in their old age. All of the things that provide them a relatively comfortable and independent life in retirement were vehemently opposed by conservatives in the past, and the cynical Talk Show Hosts and crass Republican Politicians they currently worship would be against every single ‘socialist’ program – Social Security, Medicare, etc. — that keeps them going were it presented for a vote in Congress today.

Instead of hating liberals, they should be thanking them. Theirs is arguably the most colossal case of ingratitude in American history, and they should be ashamed of themselves rather than enraged.

Unaware of the Contradiction

Steve Benen
Political Animal
The Washington Monthly
March 28, 2010

There’s an old joke that goes something like this: my neighbor went to public schools before joining the military. He went to college on the G.I. Bill, bought his first home through the FHA, and received his health care through the V.A. and Medicare. He now receives Social Security.

He’s a conservative because he wants to get the government off his back.

I mention the joke because a surprising number of right-wing activists don’t seem to appreciate the humor. We talked the other day, for example, about a radical libertarian activist who encourages his allies to throw bricks through the windows of Democratic offices to protest the Affordable Care Act. He hates government involvement in the lives of citizens — but his main income is taxpayer-financed disability checks sent to him every month by the federal government.

This is not uncommon. The NYT reports today on some of the well-intention[ed] folks who’ve been caught up in the Tea Party nonsense. Take Tom Grimes, for example.

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April 3, 2010

Young Rush: Talent On Loan From Space?

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April 2, 2010

YOS Productions Presents: The All Too Well Known TAILS of Hands (Not So) Christian Anderson

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 1:32 pm

With Apologies to Hans and all those good, well meaning, faithful priests out there
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Image of Saint Handdownyourpants performing one of his ‘sacred’ ceremonies courtesy seeitornot.faketrix.com

A Semi-historical fiction biography: composite of several potential NAMBLA members. Courtesy of Benny the Rat and the pedophile protection racket set up by the last, and other, poops… ah, POPES.

He was born Hands “Christian” Catholicson.
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