VP Reprise with McCain? Quayle Says He’s ‘Rested and Ready’
By Mo Larkey
Continental-Affiliated Press International
August 3, 2008
INDIANAPOLIS – At a press conference here today, former vice president Dan Quayle told reporters he’s “rested and ready” and prepared to “help Sen. McCain win the White House” in 2008.
The Indiana Republican, a former US senator and vice president in the administration of George H. W. Bush from 1988 to 1992, claimed that he had the “kind of wide-body life experiences” Mr. McCain needs in a vice president and would “be assetable” to the Republican candidate’s chances.
“I believe that I have been road-tested and trialed and I have found myself willing,” said Mr. Quayle, “and I could do for Sen. McCain what I did for President Bush’s father – put him over the top with the Republican Party baseline.”
“I’ve been there and done that,” continued the former vice president, “and I can do it all over again. I’m rested and ready and set to rip into this campaign like a tissue paper tiger.”
“Look at it this way,” Mr. Quayle summed up, “if we can deposit men on Mars, as we have been doing, we can get a Republican elected president this year, and I’m just the astronaut to help Sen. McCain win the White House.”
As he left the podium, Mr. Quayle mimicked dialing a phone and whispered, “Johnny, call me.”
Reached last night, McCain campaign manager Rick Davis had no comment on the former vice president’s offer.
Copyright 2008 Continental-Affiliated Press International
Ye Olde Scribe Productions Presents: Movie Time!
Getyer greasy, over buttered popcorn, pricey peanuts and candy! Sit down in our comfy theater for our documentary. Here at Ye Olde Scribe Productions we have the inside scoop, from one of our Hollywood spy flies on the wall. Bruce Willis, after having just released yet another Die Hard flick, has been hired to do a remake of John; “don’t tickle me with that feather, Uncle Ho, I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” McCain. The yet to be released sequel in the “Die, Why Won’t You Die,” John McClane series will be released just before November to help skew the election. But for now, get cozy, and watch….
John McCain as John McCain-McClane in…
The Making of Die BORED!!!!!!!!!!!
Camera slowly, in the most droll manner possible, zooms in on Bruce Willis and McCain, after being distracted by a flower (”Oh, look, a daisy!… ‘Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, please…”), a bee and a dog turd.
Willis: “OK, John, before you begin this scene, let me hear you say it: the only phrase you HAVE TO know…”
McCain: “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”
Willis: “John, wake the hell up!”
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