BartBlog

NewsFLASH!
“Often more disturbing than the guy in the park with the trench coat.”

Teachers! Principals! Dems who actually voted to approve this a%$#@hole. Waterboarding for now is an officially sanctioned activity, boys and girls! Want to encourage your playmate to have sex with you? Just desire someone else’s lunch money? Tie them to a seesaw, put a stocking over their face, and pour water over their mouth until you have to revive them: then start all over again, or they say whatever you want! It’s FUN. For YOU.

After all, if the JUST CONFIRMED AG won’t even admit the obvious, it has to be “OK,” right.

Scribe will now officially find the closest Neo Con, grab them by the hair, open their mouth, and barf down that portal until they admit that it IS torture.

Now, YOS productions and Animal Husbandry Sean Hannity Crime Investigation Unit (Yes, we caught him and O’Lielly with several sheep, goats, porcupines… the deeply embedded quills made the crime obvious…) presents…

White House Tour de la Décennie

Scribe note #1: This one may not be funny but, in some ways, it may be far more accurate than we would like to believe…

It’s closing in, slowly: far too damn slowly, on a decade since a freedom loving President sat in a White House, instead of a murderous freedom stealing one whose love for America is as much a lie as his real love for freedom. Don’t believe that? Read the Goddamn Constitution and start with The Bill of Rights, take a trip through the checks and balances section and end up with the REAL powers of the President… not the fictional Unitary: dictatorship endowing, one.Junior, his slave mistress and the slut… oops; Scribe meant to type Wifey-in-Chief have opened up previously off limits portions of the soiled mansion. After all, the image they wish to sell of the “first family,” is one of a criminal enterprise, um… “family” that NEVER soils themselves… but they DO specialize in soiling everyone else. Finally… they have started to give COMPLETE tours again after redecorating and remodeling the whole interior to suit Junior’s sick sense of “taste.” Here is the script of the tour as tranSCRIBEed by your ever faithful servant. Laura was the tour guide.

We are SO excited to have you with us today. Here you see the newly remodeled ballroom. It really IS a “ball”room, with a twist, or two, or three or… If you wish, Liberal media, I’ll put one of the hoods over your head and use the many pliers to make sure you tell us what we want to hear. Back in the bad old days this was used by the Clintons for socializing. Now we’re ready to defeat terrorism no matter what citizen, or media outlet, gets too far off our script. Obviously it’s a work in progress. As soon as we declare an emergency and cancel elections after invading , oh, silly me, go into Iran to save them from themselves, we can start cleaning up our own neighborhood.

Yes, I see a hand up there. Mr. Scribe, I will answer your questions later.

Now we have arrived at the kitchen. In the bad old days; or if we allowed that she-bitch Hillary to actually win, this was… or would be… used for exotic dishes that I can’t even pronounce. After all, I’m just a boyfriend murderer , killer , um, accidental dispatcher from a little old town in Texas. Poor boy, but that’s what he gets for standing up to me… (giggle, giggle, giggle, snort). Now we serve chittlins and hamhock, boiled in the lard we get from the journalists…. um, terrorists who don’t make it through our reeducation camps, um… “No Journalist’s Behind Left” program. The rest is used down the hall for lampshade and soap production. (Snicker, smirk, smirk, snicker.)

Yes, Mr. Scribe, we will get to your question soon.

Here are the special peep shows Junior has had installed. Now back in the old pornography loving, Liberal White House, days these would might offered the most unGodly screenings of maggot infested filth; if they had been here. Instead, we old offer my hubby and friends the best in wholesome, Neo Con entertainment: disembowled, body parts splattered heavily with blood, electrocuting, beheading type films available. Of course these are 100% American: freshly filmed from our own facilities overseas, in Cuba and right here in our secret prisons. A few are relabeled as al Qaeda films and we attempt to scrub them of fat “terrorists” wearing Rolexs and Nikes. Sometimes we don’t succeed; in fact it’s pretty obvious we’re REALLY bad at everything we do, but the American people are too stupid to figure THAT out. (Chortle, snort, sniff, wheeze, chuckle.) Now be very careful as you step: my hubby Junior and Biggus were just in this one and the floor, the walls: even the ceiling are still quite sticky. We scrape it off every night, send it straight to the kitchen; ship it out Airborne, label the packages “Chiffon Pie,” and serve it to our detainees. I’ve heard they prefer it to their usual diet of AIDS infected carcasses of rotting rats.

Oh, my, Mr. Scribe. Eager beaver aren’t we? Be patient.

Finally we have the Oval Office. Oh, my, Georgie. What are you doing, and why is Condikins under the desk? “Debriefing you?”

Well, sorry you had to see that, my dears. At least it was one of the house nigger… um, help. We don’t count them as “people” anyway. Of course we don’t count you little ones as people anyway. In the bad old days that actually might have been, oh, dear, how terrible… dare I say? CONSENSUAL. Ewe. Sorry you had to hear that. I I wasn’t the first lady they’d take me and wash my mouth out with a soapy, pre-desecrated Koran.

Now, that ends the tour. Mr. Scribe, you can put your hand down now. Silly you. We don’t ANSWER questions here. We tell you, and every one else, what the answers are. Everyone bow once to the Dynasty. Mr. Scribe, you’re encouragable. Not bowing? I’ll pass your name on to das Homeland Insecurity.

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.

YOS note #2: That was after she transformed into the succubus she has become after marrying the boy-King-wannabe: Junior. It was that, or go to prison for murdering the ex in a blinding rage.

Why?

Because NO ONE TELLS HER, OR HER HUBBY, “NO” WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.