Scribe likes being the funny man. Satire. Parody. But there’s nothing funny about this and it must be said.
666. That’s one of the names the biblical “beast” goes by. But what would the beast look like; sound like? Ye Olde Scribe has seen the beast. Ye Olde Scribe had HEARD the beast. Would you like a description?
(more…)
Al-Qaeda operatives attack several states in the southern US, causing the deaths of 11 Americans outright, poisoning many others, destroying fishing, tourism and other businesses for generations to come and costing America billions of dollars. CIA spy satellites immediately identify the Al-Qaeda home base that masterminded and launched the attack, and bipartisan voices are raised in Congress and throughout the land demanding the president call in air strikes to destroy the base and send in the Marines to kill off any terrorists left alive. With the world’s support, President Obama acts that very day, ordering the military to bomb the Al-Qaeda base ‘back to the Stone Age’ and putting the Marines on alert. “I will not sit still,” says President Obama in a speech to the nation, “While organizations that plot and profit from destructive acts and cause vast devastation to our nation exist and thrive. We will take every available course of action to put them out of business permanently.”
Replace ‘Al-Qaeda’ with ‘British Petroleum’ and it makes all the difference, doesn’t it?
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
– Does Not Compute:
If you believe the official Israeli government story regarding their boarding of those humanitarian aid ships that were bound for Gaza, Israeli commandos, thought to be among the toughest, best trained and equipped military outfits in the world, can be easily disarmed, beaten and stabbed by out-of-shape amateurs wielding metal rods. Either the Israeli commando force has turned into vanilla pudding or Netanyahu’s government is lying through its teeth regarding the events surrounding the deaths of at least nine aid workers aboard those ships. I’ll leave it to you to decide which is more believable.
– Old Soldiers (and Sailors) Never Lie, But They Do:
Republican Rep. Mark Kirk, who awarded himself a military citation, ‘Intelligence Officer of the Year,’ he never received and even boasted about it in Congress and in his official bio; and who also claimed on his website he was part of Bush’s Iraq invasion when he wasn’t, just lost the race for Barack Obama’s US Senate seat in Illinois. Well, that’s if his Dem opponent, Alexi Giannoulias has the nachos to run an ad showing Kirk blabbering on about the mythical citation and then citing the fact that Kirk just made it up, and pointing our as well that Kirk was really safely in Washington when he said he was serving in Iraq. The tagline: ‘How can you trust Kirk to represent you honestly when he can’t even honestly represent himself?’ Sure, the same can be said about Democrat Richard Blumenthal in CT who inflated his military record to service in Vietnam, and you can bet the GOP will be milking that for all it’s worth. (Side Note: Vets never forget where they served or what medals or citations they received, and they don’t ‘misspeak’ when discussing them. Kirk’s full of it when he says otherwise, and so is Blumenthal, for that matter. A pox on both of these cheesy military resume-bloaters!)
– The World Turned Upside Down:
MSNBC reported this afternoon (6/2) that crude oil has hit the barrier shores of Mississippi and Alabama – you know, the ‘safe areas’ according the BP — and west Florida is next. While BP CEO Tony Hayward continues making cringing pronouncements that would befit a ditzy Monty Python character – yes, Tony, those 11 people who were killed on your Deepwater Horizon rig would no doubt like their lives back, too, as well as the tens of thousands who depend on the Gulf for their livelihoods – watch for BP to declare bankruptcy soon and split up into several smaller companies. Bankruptcy means what’s left of BP will only be paying for a fraction, if any, of the cost of the clean-up and, regardless of Eric Holder’s tough prosecutor stance, there won’t be any senior BP execs heading for jail. (Most of them are in the UK and the Brits likely won’t extradite.) Uncle Sucker, that’s you and me fellow taxpayer, will get stuck with most of the tab and the generations of suffering that comes with it. I only hope our redneck friends down in the Gulf states get the hint and stop electing corrupt Big Oil-funded boobs to office; I hope the rest of us get the message that it’s time to get off the oil teat permanently and switch to renewable energy. Okay, and I want world peace and a flat belly by tomorrow, too.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Cause ya NEVER know where your college degree might take ya!!!
Recently numero 3 at al Qaeda Inc was taken out by a drone. Scribe can think of no news other than yet again another 1, 2 or 3 taken out being more of a DRONE. It’s like taking out #3 roach. YAWN. At this rate yet will achieve only a lot more more number threes. And that goes for Junior or the Somewhat More Noble One. (New Scribe phrase alert!!!) Yet initial reports mentioned he was actually their bookkeeper. So what is it like to be a bookkeeper for an organization like al Qaeda? Thanks to yet another one of Scribe’s spy fly on the wall report, YOS productions presents…
Al Qaeda Bookkeeeper!!! (Or How I What They Don’t Teach You at Business School)
CNN reported Sunday morning (5/30) that BP’s ‘Top Kill’ scheme to staunch the flow of oil gushing from the seabed of the Gulf of Mexico has failed. (Read the CNN story and see the video here.)
Next up, BP plans yet another ‘cap’ that won’t work any better than the first one.
Carol Browner, former head of the EPA and an adviser to President Obama, has confirmed that this is the worst environmental catastrophe in American history.
For an appreciation of just how horrible and far-reaching is this disaster, read “10 Things You Need (But Don’t Want) To Know About the BP Oil Spill,” by Dana Perdomo, Alternet, here.
I have to wonder: How much is BP playing us? I’ll bet gas will be up to $5 a gallon by the end of summer and it will be blamed on the big oil spill – BP and their corporate colleagues will rake in even more billions while the oil continues to flow from the bottom of the Gulf.
The only thing that will stop this from happening again is criminal prosecutions for negligent homicide, gross malfeasance, and fraud, with senior BP execs going to jail and the US government seizing their assets and disallowing any past, present or future profits from this mess. Of course, common sense would also dictate that all offshore drilling leases should be cancelled.
I won’t hold my breath, made shorter by air pollution from the byproducts of BP’s main source of income.
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The Greene Miracle Needs an Explanation
For the conspiracy theory lunatics who believe that the Republicans use the (no paper trail) electronic voting machines to micromanage election results, explaining the miracle of Alvin Greene’s successful effort to become the Democratic Party’s nominee to run for the Senate from South Carolina was a routine “see we tried to warn you” variation of a fill in the blanks report from the “business as usual” file. No mystery for them. The expected winner, Vic Rawl, has called for an investigation of the results, according to Fox News.
For the mainstream media, where calmer heads prevail, it was a bit more of a challenge. Luckily someone (a Republican strategist with prepackaged spin at the ready?) came up with the explanation that since Greene came before the favorite on the alphabetically listed ballot, a tendency to pick the first name voters see (and this theory was based on what reputable scholarly research?) was offered to explain the Greene miracle.
That explanation was assumed to be not just good enough to explain the victory but also how the fellow got 60% of the vote. Did the explainers give three examples of that happening previously in South Carolina? Is it a well known political phenomenon and therefore not in need of any substantiation by the fact checkers working for media that relayed this bullshit with a straight face? Wait, if it’s Republican spin you don’t have to waste money on the fact checking process. Just send the hand-out to the typesetters with a staff generated headline.
Can anyone name one expert or study that substantiates the idea that alphabetical order could produce a lopsided election win of that magnitude?
The liberal media was only too happy to “report” the “alphabetical order” explanation because it relied on the cliché image of a dumb Southern shitkicker as voter and it also assumed that even college educated Americans in other sections of the country would accept the absurd explanation with out question or hesitation. And they did.
In the Preface to his1995 book “20 Years of Censored News,” Carl Jensen wrote: “Indeed the media-generated myth of the press as an aggressive, unbiased, honest watchdog of society is just that – a myth.”
Does anyone honestly believe that the alphabetical order crap explains a 60% of the vote win? If he really got that much of the vote, shouldn’t Democrats be planning how to help the guy beat his opponent rather than trying to get him replaced on the ballot? Doesn’t the Democrats’ “he doesn’t deserve the victory” attitude smack of elitism? Isn’t elitism “so yesterday”?
A vast number of red blooded patriotic Americans have believed that Bush was fairly elected twice, he didn’t know that there were no WMD’s, Gestapo questioning methods are OK if Americans use them, and a compassionate Christian conservative says “Tough shit” when folks’ unemployment checks are held up by budgetary concerns; so the alphabetical order explanation is not much of a stretch for them.
Many Americans also believe that it’s not right for a politician to lie about his military service, but if it’s a member of the Bush family and their military records vanish, that is OK.
Democrats, while Bush was serving as President, thought that Republicans were funding war crimes but now they won’t let their opinion of the Republicans even consider the possibility that GOP would manipulate voting results if they could. That’s too low even for Republicans. Heck, not even the Nazis tampered with election results . . . or did they?
Here’s another genius idea: did any of the big news organizations think to have an astrologer examine the results? Wouldn’t an astrologer’s pronouncement carry just as much gravitas as the expert opinion about the alphabetical order explanation? Who exactly was the source for that theory? Isn’t it just a theory until someone provides proof? Was the expert who came up with the goofy explanation the same expert who declared infallibly that Howard Dean had suffered a complete mental breakdown when he celebrated a primary elections victory?
When Democrats say something, reporters have to run out and get a college professor to confirm or deny the claim, but when it comes time to evaluate Republican spin, the reporters will just use a professorial tone of voice and let it go at face value.
Does anybody still believe in the old Jimmy Stewart movie “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”? The Teabaggers have tapped into the populist philosophy, but when the Democrats see a Horatio Alger style political victory, they don’t seem to really believe in the idea of an “against all odds idealist.” Wouldn’t St. Reagan find that a worth target for his Irish wit? Wouldn’t the Republican self made successes find this lack of faith in an individual’s efforts ludicrous?
Has anybody noticed how “explanations” inevitably lead to charges of lunatic ideas in action, and “unexplained phenomenon” is an almost weekly occurrence in the national news broadcasts? “Nothing to see here, move along!” (Time again to plug Ross Thomas’ book: “The fools in town are on our side!” just for the title.)
We don’t intend that this should be a CT column but where are the South Carolina Democrats’ astrological charts? Isn’t it time to demand that they be produced and made public?
The Washington Post attempted to elaborate all possible explanations, but they didn’t touch the astrological charts. See this:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/senate/explaining-alvin-greene.html?wprss=thefix
In his autobiography, famous con man Frank Abagnale wrote: “Almost any fault, sin, or crime is considered more leniently if there’s a touch of class involved.” Doesn’t the Greene Miracle have “class” written all over it? Or is that Karl Rove’s autograph?
Now, the disk jockey will play “The Chipmunks Song” (“ALVIN! ! !”), Al Green’s hit “Here I am (Come and Take Me), and “You Sexy Thing.” We gotta go over to the Cafepress website and start selling our trademarked “Senator Greene for President” t-shirts. Have a “Catch Me If You Can” type week.