BartBlog

March 27, 2009

Dreams of My Blather from a Steele-Trapped Mind

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 3:40 am

dreams_steelehead

March 24, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Ruminating and Rumorating Edition

“Why don’t you guys use your brains like I do.”
– George Bancroft as mob boss Mac Keefer in “Angels with Dirty Faces” (1938).

1. Looks like impeached Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was right. He said as soon as the Powers-That-Be in state capital Springfield got rid of him they’d raise taxes, and now new Gov. Pat Quinn has announced he’s planning to do just that. (Taxes on a carton of cigarettes, for instance, have already gone up ten dollars in IL.) Quinn’s not a bad guy, but he was installed in office by House Speaker Mike Madigan, the same corrupt Machine politician that masterminded Blago’s removal. BTW, when does the other Pat, prosecutor Fitzgerald, indict Blago for his ‘crime spree’? It’s been four months and we’re still waiting, and Fitzy’s 90-day extension is coming to an end. Could it be he doesn’t have a case?

2. Word is, some GOP insiders are privately conceding more seats to the Dems in 2010 and the presidency in 2012. They know that short of a highly unlikely major blunder or meltdown on Obama’s part, the Republicans have no one who can beat him; current frontrunners Romney, Gingrich, Jindal, Huckabee, Sanford and (shudder) Palin just don’t have the heat. But this works to the advantage of the top party heads who would like to purge the Christian crazies, bigoted Dittoheads and nattering neocons from the ranks. (Keep them as voters and ground troops, of course, but well away from the levers of power.) Losing big in four consecutive elections just might accomplish that.

3. Speaking of the GOP, daffy duckster Michael Steele, the RNC Chair who has been hip-hopping all over the place, has turned out to be not so good at organizing much of anything – he still hasn’t even fully staffed his office. In fact, it’s been noticed that his only true talent seems to be in babbling baloney in front of cameras and microphones — not that all Republicans don’t, but Mike’s brand of urban twaddle confuses the party’s base of rural white rabble down in Dixie. They want God, guns and gays and Mike’s offering rap, pap and mall rats instead. The money’s drying up over distrust of Steele and he’s on a greased rail, the end of which should be reached before summer begins.

4. So is Obama’s Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner – on a greased rail, that is — only he’s on a shorter trajectory to oblivion. He’s managed to inspire confidence in exactly no one (except, supposedly, Obama), and his secretly playing point man for the tainted AIG bonuses and then dissembling about it has left him damaged goods in a government touting virtuous transparency. Watch for ‘Geit’ to regretfully resign for the good of the administration sometime on or about May Day.

5. Watch for the next AIG to be Bank of America, with a twist. BoA has assumed a boatload of debt buying up other failing banks and is now swimming in red ink. The chickens are nearing the roost, and soon the over-extended BoA could very well bankrupt the FDIC (unlike AIG, it’s a real bank), as the feds scramble to cover millions of depositors. The alternative would be to split up BoA into smaller companies and sever the gangrenous investments while retaining the profitable accounts. Obama would have to pull a Jimmy Stewart and encourage depositors not to withdraw their money, just until the crisis passes. Unfortunately, as it stands now with the boneheaded Larry Summers and ineffectual Geithner on the bridge, they’d probably break the treasury trying to save BoA from being split up, which means we’d be a nation of rag pickers by this time next year.

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March 14, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Tales of Incredible GOP Slop Edition

“But after September 11th, having been being hit once, how could we take a chance that Saddam Hussein might not strike again?”
Ari Fleischer to Chris Matthews, March 11, 2009.

You Know When They’re Lying…

Not that I want them to ever figure this out, but if the GOP wishes to know why wide swatches of the American public no longer trusts them, aside from the Little King’s eight long years of rule by error, and an economy that had to be peeled from the bottom of the barrel, they might look at some of the incredible statements that emanate from the acrid mouths of the supply-siders.

For instance, Martian Talking Point Ari Fleischer appeared on the Matthews boy’s MSNBC variety hour the other day and spread it on thick for Bush’s Legacy. Out of the steaming heap of preposterous twaddle and dead-eyed slag with which he repeatedly insulted the audience, one statement, along with the outrageously delirious quote that heads this piece, was the ‘tell’ that removed all credibility from any other word he spoke – that’s when he implied that Republicans would never blame Obama should there be another 9/11. The remnants of Karl Rove’s viperous, vile, vicious, kick-below-the-belt Republican Party and their cohorts in Murdoch’s Media would give Obama a pass on a major terrorist attack? As Mark Twain once wrote, it’s enough to make a cow laugh.

“I thought they [CEOs] were honest.”
Jim Cramer to Jon Stewart, March 12, 2009.

Then there was CNBC’s Mad Money maniac Jim Cramer getting some needed schooling in journalism from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last Thursday. As much as Cramer bobbed and weaved, Stewart kept landing solid punches, but the one line that took any faint breeze of credibility out of Cap’n Jimbo’s sails was the ludicrous, fall-on-the-floor funny take that he didn’t realize corporate CEOs were lying to him. This hyperactive lump of dross has been selling his 20 years of financial experience on Wall Street and he didn’t know CEOs LIE? Okay, either this guy is the dumbest wide-eyed hayseed to ever hit the big time, in which case CNBC should rip up his contract and send him back to Mayberry, or he has such contempt for average Americans that he thinks he can get away with this monumental sleazebag-of-the-month con job, and I’d pick Door Number Two here.

Since Obama’s election, we’ve heard a landfill of these absurd head-slapping ‘tells’ from the Party of Limbo – “We believe in small government”; “We honor the Constitution”; “We’re the party of fiscal responsibility”; “Bush beat al-Qaeda and won the war on terror”; “We’re against earmarks”; “It’s Obama’s recession” – and I hope the Republicants keep it up. No advertising from the opposition could more effectively doom the GOP than endlessly repeating something as patently ridiculous as, “We’re the party that cares about the people!”

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The Few. The Loud. The GOP.

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:04 am

gop-howdy-doody

March 12, 2009

The Tattlesnake – More Randomized Odds and Ends Edition

Or, Once Around the Poop Deck

Rumor Du Jour: Word is, the Big Money Boys are holding back from dumping any more kale into the GOP, especially since new RNC Chair Michael “Hip-Hopper” Steele has inspired about as much confidence as Jim Cramer’s investment advice. With ex-Bush speechwriter David Frum and former Republican contractor Newt Gingrich both taking swipes at the Mighty-Mite Talk Radio Leader of the Rabid Right, how long before the schism between the more-or-less sane Party Insiders and the Christopublican-Conservative Brown Shirts, flopping around crazily to Rush’s goose-step? Place your bets now – the money to put the chug in the GOP is drying up – nobody wants to back a loser, and the GOP is the bob-tail nag running last these days – and 2010 doesn’t look rosy.

Besides, even some of the faithful Christopublican ground troops are backing off – after 30 years of getting out the vote for the GOP, they’ve noticed the Republicans, even when in the majority in Congress and holding the WH under Junior, didn’t ‘get ‘er done’ on outlawing abortion and hanging atheists and Unitarians in Lafayette Park. And where’s the Armageddon they were promised? Plus, they aren’t thrilled with Limbaugh – he’s not pious enough for their taste.

Without the Christo vote, no GOP seat is safe in 2010. Folks, grab your popcorn and settle back: we’re watching the self-immolation of the GOP on a scale not seen since the Whigs bickered themselves to death. Something will take its place, probably led by more moderate conservatives like Susan Collins and Dick Lugar, while the Christopublican crazies and demented Dittoheads spin out of orbit, lost forever babbling baloney somewhere out near Uranus.

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March 10, 2009

You’re Dead Right!

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 5:24 am

gop-a-hole-comics

March 9, 2009

1994 Redux?

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 5:32 am

2010-election-comics

March 8, 2009

News of the Future: Wurzelbacher Nominated by GOP in 2012

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 11:04 am

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March 7, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Odds and Ends from the Week’s News Edition

…With No Particular Place to Go But Here

If This Were in a Book, You Wouldn’t Believe It: It’s been hilarious watching various members of the GOP hierarchy criticizing the Rush monster, and then scurrying hat in hand to apologize or ‘clarify’ their comments, the new Republican euphemism for kneeling at the ‘flabulous’ bloviator’s altar and seeking forgiveness. (Michael Steele’s ‘clarification’ – “Really, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about!” – was worthy of a Monty Python skit.) Doubling the fun is watching some of the same humbugs deny the bleeding obvious — Limbaugh is the 500-pound elephant in the middle of the Republican Party’s leaky punchbowl and he’s calling the shots now. This is killing the GOP and there’s nothing they can do about it – welcome to your self-made hell, neocons.

Speaking of the Mouth of the Wingnut South, Limbaugh recently challenged Obama to debate him on his show, knowing full well, naturally, that the president has much more important things to do than goose Lard Lad’s ratings. If Rush really wants to debate Obama, here’s something he could do, if he has the guts: Run for president in 2012 and, if he’s the Republican nominee, he’ll get his debate with Obama, probably even two or three. Don’t bet on that happening, though – Limbaugh would never face the people that way – he only talks to Dittoheads and other psychotics. (Incidentally, the Radio-Dazed Monarch’s assurances of 20 million weekly listeners may be as exaggerated as his bulbous torso – it also doesn’t confirm how many are tuning in to laugh with him and how many to laugh at him.)

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March 6, 2009

If Obama Fails, America Fails

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:33 am

gop-america-fail

March 5, 2009

Willing to Watch Them Die Off for Tax Cuts

gop-looking-out

The Tattlesnake – GOP Shrinks Into a Cult Edition

The CPAC-Right Left Behind as America ‘Moves On’

“The country’s conservative, Republican-dominated strongholds have shrunk to the Deep South, the Plains and talk radio. […]
“This is the first time since the aftermath of Watergate that conservatives have known what it is like to be so completely out of power, out-funded, out-organized and arguably irrelevant to national governance.”

– Joel Achenbach, “The Conservatives’ ‘Cleansing’ Moment,” Washington Post, March 1, 2009.

It’s said when it rains it pours and what’s currently happening to the ultra right-wing remnants who still call themselves conservative Republicans is no trickle-down sprinkle – they have put themselves in the path of monsoon season, apparently trying to hasten their status as a fringe political cult akin to the People’s Temple or the Moonies.

The new Know-Nothing Party, assembled in Washington for the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) Conference last weekend, proved both its penchant for blockheaded obliviousness and rare talent for unintended hilarity by honoring as ‘conservative intellectuals’ (that whirring sound you hear is William F. Buckley and Barry Goldwater spinning in their graves) a nerdy little wimp, a has-been simp and a bloviating blimp, also known as, respectively if not respectfully, 13-year-old annoyance Jonathan Krohn; long over-The-Hill GOP retread Newt Gingrich and, of course, the Master of Disaster, the rotund right-wing radio bleater Rush Limbaugh.

While adorable future drug addict Krohn studiously and without irony recited to appreciative hoots and ringing applause the common themes tilled up by most of the CPAC speakers – conservatives stand for respecting the Constitution; respecting life, (at least the unborn kind as opposed to that in uniform or in jail); less government; personal responsibility, and protecting the freedoms and rights of the people – neither he nor his big brothers Newtie and Rush bothered with a brief history lesson of America under conservative Republican rule. Not surprising, since it pulls out the rug from beneath their empty claims. For example:

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March 4, 2009

It’s Good to Be the King

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 2:07 pm

limba-gop-king2

February 27, 2009

Jindal — The Man of ‘Steele’

Filed under: Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:45 am

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RS Janes. H/T to the late Joe Shuster & Jerry Siegel.

February 26, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Catch a Rising Star Crashing Edition

Apu’s a Goner in 2012, Along with Sanford, Palin, and Barbour, As Party Leader Rush Waits in the Wings

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein

It’s become a cliché to point out that Obama, once again, oratorically cleaned the Republican clock, as he did Feb. 23 in his quasi-SotU. To gauge how bad the damage was this time around, all you had to do was look at Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who appeared as if he’d just chugged a gallon of alum as he listened to the president, and House Minority Leader John Boehner, who looked like he just fell out of a coffin. But the GOP wasn’t done slitting its own throat; to do that they employed Dr. Bombay, Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, a very creepy little man who, in his spare time, doubtless flashes women on street corners, smiles his goofy lopsided smile, and then runs away giggling.

GOP ‘Rising Star’ Jindal was no match for Obama – it was like watching Barney Fife in the ring with the 1973 Muhammad Ali – and his cornucopia of ineptly rendered half-truths and flat-out lies induced much chuckling. Memo to Bobby: There is no Disneyland to Vegas mag-lev train in Obama’s stimulus package; the unnamed ‘bureaucrat’ that you and your sheriff friend were so incensed at for not responding properly to the Katrina flooding was a ‘heckuva job, Brownie’ Bush FEMA employee – in other words, an incompetent Republican boob — and, speaking of that folksy-hokum ‘Lonesome Rhodes’ Katrina anecdote, Jindal apparently just made it up since he was 80 miles away from New Orleans in Baton Rouge at the time the alleged incident took place. Of course, sprinkled throughout were Jindal’s ‘better ideas’ such as continuing to cut taxes, as if the massive Bush tax cuts of the last eight years worked so well.

And in Jindal’s national media debut he exhibited all of the aplomb of a geeky 12-year-old appointed mayor-of-the-day, possessing the charisma of a tub of slow-drying glue. Oh, yes, this guy is presidential, all right – for a junior high class. Even many prominent conservatives were disgusted with this so-called ‘Washington outsider’s’ wet-dishrag performance; the NY Times’ David Brooks pegged it as “stale,” and even “insane.” Only the Head Dittohead seemed to enjoy Jindal’s dance of doom, bizarrely calling the LA governor the “next Ronald Reagan.” (Perhaps he meant the way Ronnie is now.)

Then there’s Jindal’s bizarre past: I wonder what conservative Protestant Christopublicans would think if they knew he was a Hindu who converted to Catholicism, once participated in a weird college exorcism, changed his name from ‘Piyush’ to ‘Bobby’ because of a Brady Bunch episode, and that his parents were liberal Democrats?

Let’s also have a round of applause for tone-deaf Republican Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina, who just ended his political career thusly:

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February 22, 2009

The Tattlesnake — Mantan of Steele Edition

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 8:31 am

Spike Lee’s Fictional Film Character is Now Chairman of the GOP

I thought the brilliant Richard Pryor had left us, but he must be back writing speeches now for ‘the white man’s black man’ Michael Steele. How else do you account for all the satirical comedy emanating from this guy? Going after the votes of “one-armed midgets,” “urban-suburban” hip-hoppers, and calling the GOP “way beyond cutting edge” (isn’t that like a cartoon character running in mid-air before he falls ‘splat’ to the ground)? Hilarious! Sure, and don’t forget this gem: “Not in the history of mankind has the government ever created a job.” Hey, Mike, tell that to a cop, a firefighter, a postal worker, or a soldier just returned from Iraq – they all think they have jobs and, what’s more, they all pay taxes and buy things from private companies which, last I checked, stimulates the economy. (For that matter, who’s been cutting former Lt. Gov. Steele’s paychecks in the past?) And I’m sure the party of Strom Thurmond, Jesse Helms and David Duke will appreciate Steele pursuing “moms of all shapes” in his lust to expand the GOP base. Sheesh, he’s like Godfrey Cambridge in “Watermelon Man.” (I guess it’s also possible he’s on drugs, because he sure appears to be hallucinating in public.)

“Get jiggy with the GOP”? Most people would rather hug a poisonous cobra.

At least he’ll be entertaining until he’s replaced in 2011 after the GOP racks up even more losses in Congressional and state elections. His predecessor as RNC Chair, Mike “Huh?” Duncan, was a typical dull, cookie-cutter Republican twit; Steele, by contrast, is ding-dong, spittle-lipped crazy.

Thank you, Jebas.

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