BartBlog

March 2, 2009

The Tattlesnake – ‘True’ Tales From the ER Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:48 am

Emergency Room log entries from various sources, purported to be on the up-and-up:

– Patient admitted ER with self-inflicted gunshot wound to left palm. (He was testing to see if gun was loaded!) Police are going to arrest him for unregistered weapon that he brought to ER with him. He wanted cops to check and see if gun was working properly!

– Patient’s abdominal discomfort caused by overeating. He was trying to set the world record for Big Mac consumption. He downed 12 before he got sick.

– He was admitted with complaints of ‘burning mouth’ after eating a jar of jalapeno peppers. We’ll wait for lab results to determine if that’s the cause.

– This woman is 80 and says she hasn’t had a period in 30 years. She hasn’t had one now. She sat on some spilled hot sauce in her underwear.

– The patient has no previous history of suicides.

– Patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

– Genital examination reveals that he is circus sized.

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March 1, 2009

Bobby Jindal: Another GOP Lyin’ King

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:19 am

Louisiana’s Republican Gov. Bobby Jindal, in his response to President Obama’s speech February 24, entirely fabricated the anecdote regarding his helping to rescue victims of Katrina in 2005. In fact, Jindal was 80 miles away in Baton Rouge during the time the event supposedly took place. Now, even one of his staff has admitted Jindal lied:

“A Jindal spokesperson acknowledged earlier today that the events Jindal recounted to the nation had never occurred and the governor in no way assisted with boat rescues during the hurricane.”
– Color of Change, “Katrina Survivors Outraged By Jindal’s Lies,” Feb. 28, 2009.

Well, he’s proven he’s full of enough twisted BS to be a Republican president. Color of Change has demanded an apology – I’d really like to see Bobby talk his way out of this one.

apu-jindal-lie
R.S. Janes. H/T to & copyright by Matt Groening.

Low is Her Lubber

Filed under: Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , — RS Janes @ 7:09 am

lois-lame-cover
R.S. Janes – LT Saloon.

February 27, 2009

Jindal — The Man of ‘Steele’

Filed under: Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:45 am

no_action_comics2
RS Janes. H/T to the late Joe Shuster & Jerry Siegel.

February 26, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Catch a Rising Star Crashing Edition

Apu’s a Goner in 2012, Along with Sanford, Palin, and Barbour, As Party Leader Rush Waits in the Wings

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein

It’s become a cliché to point out that Obama, once again, oratorically cleaned the Republican clock, as he did Feb. 23 in his quasi-SotU. To gauge how bad the damage was this time around, all you had to do was look at Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who appeared as if he’d just chugged a gallon of alum as he listened to the president, and House Minority Leader John Boehner, who looked like he just fell out of a coffin. But the GOP wasn’t done slitting its own throat; to do that they employed Dr. Bombay, Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, a very creepy little man who, in his spare time, doubtless flashes women on street corners, smiles his goofy lopsided smile, and then runs away giggling.

GOP ‘Rising Star’ Jindal was no match for Obama – it was like watching Barney Fife in the ring with the 1973 Muhammad Ali – and his cornucopia of ineptly rendered half-truths and flat-out lies induced much chuckling. Memo to Bobby: There is no Disneyland to Vegas mag-lev train in Obama’s stimulus package; the unnamed ‘bureaucrat’ that you and your sheriff friend were so incensed at for not responding properly to the Katrina flooding was a ‘heckuva job, Brownie’ Bush FEMA employee – in other words, an incompetent Republican boob — and, speaking of that folksy-hokum ‘Lonesome Rhodes’ Katrina anecdote, Jindal apparently just made it up since he was 80 miles away from New Orleans in Baton Rouge at the time the alleged incident took place. Of course, sprinkled throughout were Jindal’s ‘better ideas’ such as continuing to cut taxes, as if the massive Bush tax cuts of the last eight years worked so well.

And in Jindal’s national media debut he exhibited all of the aplomb of a geeky 12-year-old appointed mayor-of-the-day, possessing the charisma of a tub of slow-drying glue. Oh, yes, this guy is presidential, all right – for a junior high class. Even many prominent conservatives were disgusted with this so-called ‘Washington outsider’s’ wet-dishrag performance; the NY Times’ David Brooks pegged it as “stale,” and even “insane.” Only the Head Dittohead seemed to enjoy Jindal’s dance of doom, bizarrely calling the LA governor the “next Ronald Reagan.” (Perhaps he meant the way Ronnie is now.)

Then there’s Jindal’s bizarre past: I wonder what conservative Protestant Christopublicans would think if they knew he was a Hindu who converted to Catholicism, once participated in a weird college exorcism, changed his name from ‘Piyush’ to ‘Bobby’ because of a Brady Bunch episode, and that his parents were liberal Democrats?

Let’s also have a round of applause for tone-deaf Republican Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina, who just ended his political career thusly:

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February 23, 2009

The Tattlesnake – And the Award Goes to… Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 5:46 pm

Of course, I’m talking about the 29th Annual Razzie Awards for the worst films and actors of 2008. The winners are:

Worst Picture: Mike Myers’ monumental movie mistake “The Love Guru,” although I think the also-nominated “The Hottie and the Nottie” should have nabbed a Dishonorable Mention.

Worst Actor: ‘Winner’ Mike Myers (“The Love Guru”) beat out Larry the Cable Guy? Of course, Mr. ‘Cable Guy’ has never claimed to be an actor, so perhaps this is fair after all. Is Myers trying to get out of a contract, or does he just not care anymore with tripe like this?

Worst Actress: The true Slumdog Millionaire (with a publicist) Paris Hilton for her performance in “The Hottie and the Nottie.” The AP reports that Paris’ two films, the aforementioned bomb and “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” combined did not take in $200 thousand at the box office, giving the lie to the alleged public popularity of the celebutard hotel heiress. Like the fully useless Donald Trump, Hilton’s celebrity is based solely on her ability to hire a good ‘sweet smell of success’ (or, in this case ‘stink’) PR agent who will endlessly get her name mentioned in the media. Isn’t it time for Paris to join fellow stick-figure clotheshorse Cindy Crawford (“Fair Game,” one of the worst movies ever made) in the land of sunny dumb obscurity?

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This Day in Hell: Santelli Someone Who Cares

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — RS Janes @ 5:30 pm

February 23, 2040. CNBC’s Rick Santelli arrives in Hell and is offered a luxurious 10-bedroom, 4-bath mansion at a low mortgage rate. “Oh, boy! Wotta deal!” he shouts as he snaps it up and moves in, but a month later, the mortgage doubles. It keeps doubling every month until Santelli finally complains to the Devil: “You can’t just double my mortgage every month. That’s unfair!” “Just where do you think you are, Rick?” “That’s not the point – every place, even here, has to have some rules governing mortgage rates!” “That’s tough, Rick, but that’s the free market for you.” “But I can’t possibly earn enough to pay this inflated mortgage!” “What are you, Rick, some kind of loser?” Later, the foreclosed-on Rick is given a minimum wage job cleaning J.P. Morgan’s underwear with a pipe cleaner and lives in his ‘Hell car’ – a rusted-out 1988 Plymouth Horizon with four flat tires and no engine that rents for $800 a month.

February 22, 2009

The Tattlesnake — Mantan of Steele Edition

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 8:31 am

Spike Lee’s Fictional Film Character is Now Chairman of the GOP

I thought the brilliant Richard Pryor had left us, but he must be back writing speeches now for ‘the white man’s black man’ Michael Steele. How else do you account for all the satirical comedy emanating from this guy? Going after the votes of “one-armed midgets,” “urban-suburban” hip-hoppers, and calling the GOP “way beyond cutting edge” (isn’t that like a cartoon character running in mid-air before he falls ‘splat’ to the ground)? Hilarious! Sure, and don’t forget this gem: “Not in the history of mankind has the government ever created a job.” Hey, Mike, tell that to a cop, a firefighter, a postal worker, or a soldier just returned from Iraq – they all think they have jobs and, what’s more, they all pay taxes and buy things from private companies which, last I checked, stimulates the economy. (For that matter, who’s been cutting former Lt. Gov. Steele’s paychecks in the past?) And I’m sure the party of Strom Thurmond, Jesse Helms and David Duke will appreciate Steele pursuing “moms of all shapes” in his lust to expand the GOP base. Sheesh, he’s like Godfrey Cambridge in “Watermelon Man.” (I guess it’s also possible he’s on drugs, because he sure appears to be hallucinating in public.)

“Get jiggy with the GOP”? Most people would rather hug a poisonous cobra.

At least he’ll be entertaining until he’s replaced in 2011 after the GOP racks up even more losses in Congressional and state elections. His predecessor as RNC Chair, Mike “Huh?” Duncan, was a typical dull, cookie-cutter Republican twit; Steele, by contrast, is ding-dong, spittle-lipped crazy.

Thank you, Jebas.

February 21, 2009

The Tattlesnake — No Wonder Newspapers Are Dying Off Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , — RS Janes @ 8:39 am

I recently received a free copy of one of my city’s two major fishwrappers; except for the front page and inside front cover, the ‘news’ pages were dominated by ads. On several pages, three/fourths of the page was taken up by advertising with a single puny two-paragraph news item, mostly headline, stuck up in the corner, and it was usually some important story like “Mom Doesn’t Regret Octuplet Births”. On top of which, it was mostly edited wire service stuff with very little locally-generated news.

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This Day in Hell: The ‘Perley’ Gates

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , — RS Janes @ 8:10 am

February 21, 2050: Richard Perle is welcomed to Hell after decades of being assured he is going to Heaven. To the amusement of everyone, Perle makes a lengthy speech wherein he attempts to convince the Damned Hell is actually Heaven. In response to the laughter, Perle insists he doesn’t endorse everything he says. Although he is prevented from realizing it, adding to the hilarity is Perle’s attire – he’s wearing a toilet plunger on his head.

February 19, 2009

The Tattlesnake – The Suicide Kings of the GOP Edition

The Right-Wing Media Frankenstein is Pushing Its Republican Political Prisoners to Electoral Doom

“You have shown me a strange image, and they are strange prisoners.”
– Glaucon, from Plato’s “The Allegory of the Cave,” Book VII, “The Republic.”

Out in the formerly sunny Kal-i-forn-yuh, now the province of the disastrous ‘leadership’ of Republican Gov. Arnold “Worse Than Gray Davis” Schwarzenegger, GOP lawmakers are resisting a sensible bill that will save the state from bankruptcy and collapse. Why? Because it contains necessary tax increases to balance the state budget and the California Republicans are under threat from right-wing radio talkers that if they vote for the bill, they will be targeted for removal from office and their political careers ended.

Similarly, national Republicans in Congress have also gotten the message from Rush Limbaugh and his braying ilk: vote against even the most reasonable spending bills that would help Americans enmeshed in Bush’s new Great Depression and hope Obama fails – or else.

Democrats have been rightly criticized for leaving their spines in a lockbox in the conduct of national business, but this is an exhibition of cowardice unparalleled in US political history: Not only are the chickenhawk Republicans afraid to risk their dainty flesh in the nation’s interest, now they are trembling in fear at the thought that obtuse gasbags like Limbaugh might attack them for voting the wrong way. (One, a featherweight embarrassment named Rep. Phil Gingrey of Georgia, blubberingly apologized and begged forgiveness on Limbaugh’s radio show recently for veering from Rush’s notion of conservative orthodoxy.)

The irony here is as thick as Rush Hudson Limbaugh III’s porcine jowls; the two ‘new’ political ideas hatched from the dank cellar of Nixon’s presidency were appealing via code words to white bigots – the infamous ‘Southern Strategy’ – and mobilizing fringe right Christians, formerly opposed to political involvement, to take up the GOP banner in the name of fighting abortion rights after Roe v. Wade was ruled on by the Supreme Court in 1973. The third ‘new’ idea, which really hearkened back to the broadcast rants of Father Charles Coughlin in the 1930s, was the inception of right-wing talk radio infesting those AM bands that had been all but deserted in the rush to FM in the 1970s, pioneered by the unlikely success of post-Fairness Doctrine Rush Limbaugh in 1988. In the early days, the Mighty Wurlitzer of conservative talk radio served the interests of the Republican Party, helping to elect Newt Gingrich’s ‘Contract with America’ Congress in 1994, and took their marching orders from the Republican National Committee, or GOP political operatives like Ed Rollins, Lee Atwater or, later, Karl Rove. The concept was simple: take all of the rage that was building in the nation from working class poor and blue-collar whites who were being consistently reamed by corporations owned by wealthy Republicans and their GOP political puppets and turn it on liberals, Hollywood, Democrats, feminists, scientists, gays, college professors, Barbra Streisand, welfare queens, ‘elites’ or anyone else not providing money or faxed talking points to the host, then urge them to support whatever jive pinhead the Republican Party dredged up to run against it all.

That the promulgators of this fictional universe, donning imaginary overalls during airtime and portraying themselves as straight-talking ‘average Americans,’ themselves were making millions of dollars (Limbaugh himself just signed a deal worth $400 million) and living the most elite lives possible off air was carefully hidden from the office-bound rubes and factory-floor yokels of the new GOP diaspora, strangers in their own land and eternally the patriotic put-upon victims of some liberal outrage, smart-ass scientist, gay celebrity or urban welfare recipient who had no other thought in life but to retire early with their new Cadillac and color TV bought on the downtrodden white man’s hard-earned dime.

For a time, the right-wing media prevailed with this fantasy of misdirected ire and ratings boomed, especially during the ’90s when they had Bill and Hillary Clinton to vilify for all that’s wrong with the world, and it reached it’s influential zenith with the election of the dullest knife in the drawer, the malaprop-prone black sheep alcoholic son of a politically-prominent family, a failure at everything he had ever tried, shoehorned into the Texas governor’s mansion by the slimy machinations of Karl Rove, and illegally appointed to the presidency by Daddy’s friends on the US Supreme Court — George W. Bush. The Limbaugh’s and Hannity’s celebrated – they had catapulted one of their own into the highest office in the land; but that was also the beginning of their downfall, concurrent with the nosedive of Bush and the GOP, and the concomitant blossoming of their blind arrogance that is on track to reduce the Republicans to a small regional party, grasping for votes from the unlearned, unteachable and plain dumb. This media Frankenstein, stitched together haphazardly to assist the GOP, now bullies the party to work against its own interests, just as they have been doing to their misbegotten audience for decades, an audience diminishing in the harsh light of economic reality.

As the prescient Nate Silver at FiveThirtyEight.com – he was correct about the last presidential election and the baseball Tampa Bay Rays winning 2008 season – has noted:

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February 17, 2009

The Tattlesnake – It’s Time For Obama to Fire Petraeus Edition

GOP Candidate-in-Waiting Petraeus’ Machinations Are a Threat to the President’s Civilian Authority

Lincoln had his George McClellan; Truman had his Douglas MacArthur; there’s a history of politically ambitious generals undermining their elected Commander-in-Chief to bolster their own prospects at the presidency. In McClellan’s case, he dragged his feet and lost battles that he should have won, setting the stage for his promise to negotiate an end to the conflict with the Confederacy in his 1864 run for the presidency against Lincoln, a man he privately loathed and irrationally blamed for the Civil War. Fortunately, the self-styled ‘American Napoleon’ lost that election. Dugout Doug MacArthur openly flouted Truman’s orders and tried to widen the Korean War into a war with China, including the use of nuclear weapons, hoping to capitalize on his war hero status to glide to victory over Truman as a Republican in 1952. In both cases, the generals were appropriately fired: McClellan was quietly relieved of his command of the Army of the Potomac in 1862; MacArthur publicly axed by ‘Give ‘em hell Harry’ in 1951.

It’s an open secret that CENTCOM commander Gen. David Petraeus lusts to be the GOP presidential candidate in 2012, and thinks he can ride to the White House as an Eisenhower-like hero who ‘won’ the war in Iraq, thanks to his Surge plan, which mostly amounts to bribing warlords with US taxpayer money. However, his CinC President Obama, elected on a promise to end the unpopular Iraq War and concentrate on our collapsing economy, has ordered Petraeus and his deputy, chief US commander in Iraq Gen. Ray Odierno, to have US combat forces out of Iraq within 16 months. Petraeus’ reaction, according to Gareth Porter of the Inter Press Service, was to put pressure on Obama to change his policy, offer to disguise our continued presence in Iraq by calling combat troops ‘support troops,’ and enlist the aid of military brass to push for a continuation of our occupation of Iraq. As Porter notes:

“A network of senior military officers is also reported to be preparing to support Petraeus and Odierno by mobilising public opinion against Obama’s decision.”
– Gareth Porter, “Generals Seek to Reverse Obama’s Iraq Withdrawal Decision,” Feb. 2, 2009.

It is not up to Petraeus nor any of his deputies to ‘mobilize public opinion’ against a presidential decision, to find ways to keep troops in Iraq contrary to a presidential directive, nor to use their command to enhance their future in politics. (The CENTCOM commander himself would hardly countenance such scheming by a member of his staff.) Petraeus’ only two options, according to the oath he took when he joined the US Army, is to either follow a legal order from the president, or resign his commission; anything else smacks of insubordination. Since it’s unlikely Petraeus will resign, that leaves only one choice for Obama, the same one exercised by Lincoln and Truman before him – fire his insubordinate subordinate and replace him with someone who will follow orders.

February 14, 2009

The Tattlesnake – What’s in a Name? Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 4:27 pm

A Rogue By Any Other Name…

From an AP news story yesterday:

US Security Firm Mired in Iraq Controversy Changes Its Name
Blackwater Worldwide renamed Xe as company tries to salvage its tarnished brand

The Associated Press
February 13, 2009

Blackwater Worldwide is abandoning its tarnished brand name as it tries to shake a reputation battered by oft-criticised work in Iraq, renaming its family of two dozen businesses under the name Xe. The parent company’s new name is pronounced like the letter z.

Read the rest of the AP article here.

Now that the schutzstaffel wannabes at Blackwater have taken the plunge, perhaps some of our other fetid corporations will do likewise to improve their ‘brand image’:

Halliburton could rename itself ‘Dick’s Kids’ “Won’t you help them help themselves with your tax dollars?”;

Kellogg, Brown & Root could turn into ‘Beds, Breakfasts & Beyond’ “You’ll be shocked at our low prices!”

General Dynamics could become ‘Jets ‘n’ Stuff’ “Hey, there, America, we’re flyin’ for you!”

ExxonMobil could go with ‘OXOXOX’“We just love you and you’ll love us!”;

DynCorp could become ‘The Dyners Club International’ “Always at your service!”;

Bechtel could be rebranded as ‘Builder’s Square’ “From a shed to a skyscraper, we’re on your side!”;

The Carlyle Group could change its name to ‘Defense R Us’“If it rolls, flies or floats, we’re there!”;

And Blackwater itself, instead of the weird ‘Xe,’ could change its name again to the more comforting ‘Snuggle Security’ “We’re your blankie when you’re afraid.”

February 13, 2009

The Tattlesnake – GOP Fiddles While America Burns Edition

Or, Nero Was No Hero

“But one of the good things about reading history is you learn a good deal. And, we know for sure that the big spending programs of the New Deal did not work. In 1940, unemployment was still 15%.”
– Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), speaking the untruth of the powerful, Feb. 6, 2009.

“[O]ne of the things that really has gotten dumber about our culture: the media constantly talks about truth as if it … were always equidistant from two points. In other words, sometimes the truth is one-sided.” […]
“[I]t’s exactly like saying … ‘so-and-so says, two plus two equals five. But, of course, mathematicians say that it really equals four.’ The mathematicians are right. The people who say that two plus two equals five are wrong. The media blurs that constantly.”
– Susan Jacoby, from Bill Moyers’ Journal, PBS, Feb. 15, 2008.

That great economic historian, Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, took to the floor of the Senate last week to excoriate the memory of FDR and claim the New Deal didn’t end the Great Depression. In fact, Roosevelt’s New Deal programs put millions of average Americans to work and reduced unemployment from a high of over 35 percent to 14 percent. Aside from that, if FDR was such a failure, why did he win by 62.6 percent of the popular vote, and 98.5 percent of the electoral vote, in 1936, and 55 percent in 1940, with 84.6 of the EV? Why was he retained in office for 12 years, from 1932 until his death in 1945, the longest-serving president in our history, if he accomplished nothing toward solving the primary issue of that time – the economic crisis? Some smart reporter should ask McConnell those questions.

“Only with the New Deal’s rehabilitation of the financial system in 1933-35 did the economy begin its slow emergence from the Great Depression.”
– Ben Bernanke, the Republican-picked Fed chief, from his book, “Essays on the Great Depression.”

“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
– President Franklin D. Roosevelt

In his first press conference on February 9, Obama put the screws to the GOP, albeit wrapped in enough padding that no blood was drawn but, to mix metaphors, this is Obama’s style – wear them down with civility while you score with shots to the gut and dance away. Our ‘Gentleman Jim’ President nimbly peppered the punch-drunk Republicans just as ably as the original did in 1892 to win the heavyweight crown from the blundering beast that was John L. Sullivan who had only his ‘strong right arm’ as a weapon.

Pushed by such withered toads as McConnell, blatant numbskulls like Mike Pence of Baghdad street bazaars are ‘just like any open-air market in Indiana in the summertime’ fame, and the inchoate babblings of the evidently very corrupt new RNC chair Michael Steele, the GOP is collectively lurching toward irretrievable disaster, one every bit as bad as anything the Dimbulb Son who just left the White House wrought — you know, the one whose name must never be mentioned in public by any Republican ever again. They seem determined to take the mean-spirited, unpopular opinion on nearly every issue, just to gratify a shaky base of fringe nutcases, religious retrogrades, Fox News employees, Wall Street Journal editorial board members, Coulter cultists, racist rednecks, professional malcontents, crumb-bum lobbyists, and off-shored-assets tycoons channeling Leona Helmsley.

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February 8, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Six Neocon Whoppers: Myth, Truth and Proof Edition

The Dirty Half-Dozen: Exposing Some Recent Right-Wing Fairy Tales and Deceptions

1. Myth: Rupert Murdoch and his News Corporation media possessions, The Wall Street Journal and Fox News, are the only national media outlets making money and increasing audience right now. Truth: Murdoch’s News Corp. is losing money hand over fist, $6.4 billion in the last two quarters, and cutting staff as the circulation of the WSJ and ratings for Fox News decline. Proof: Here’s an excerpt from an AP report:

“News Corp., the global media giant controlled by Rupert Murdoch, said Thursday it lost $6.4 billion in its most recent quarter because of a massive write-down in the value of its assets.

“The New York-based company, which owns The Wall Street Journal and the Fox broadcast network, also forecast a 30 percent drop in operating profits for the fiscal year to June from a year ago, when it earned $5.13 billion.” [...]

“News Corp. also said it had cut 800 positions across its Fox properties, including the 20th Century Fox movie studio, in moves that it expected to save $400 million a year. The Wall Street Journal said Thursday it is cutting about two dozen newsroom positions.”
– Ryan Nakashima, AP Business Writer, “News Corp. loses $6.4 billion in 2Q,” Feb. 5, 2009.

2. Myth: “Government jobs don’t stimulate the economy.” Recently Sen. Tom Coburn (R-NotOK) was promoting this bit of balderdash on MSNBC, but I’ve heard and read it elsewhere in the right-wing media as well. Truth: This is nonsense from the days of Herbert Hoover. Proof: Under Franklin D. Roosevelt such government employment programs as the WPA and CCC reduced unemployment dramatically during the Great Depression and improved the economy, as much as many neocon economists are desperately trying to rewrite history to reflect the opposite. Just like everyone else, government employees pay taxes and buy things – houses, cars, food, clothes and appliances –– that stimulate the economy.

3. Myth: Rush Limbaugh never actually said about President Obama, “I hope he fails.” Truth: Yes, he did and I heard it. Proof: Here’s the audio clip. He plainly says he was asked for quote about Obama and replied, “I hope he fails.”

4. Myth: “Tax cuts are the best way to improve the economy.” Truth: No, they aren’t. Proof: The last eight years of tax cuts under Bush.

5. Myth: “Free market capitalism will regulate itself.” Truth: You’re crazy. It’s like saying a basket of vipers will regulate itself into a litter of puppies. Proof: The economic collapse engendered by the ‘hands-off’ policies of Bush as well as bankers, Wall Street, automakers and other large corporations begging for bailouts to avoid bankruptcy. Then there’s Bernie Madoff, Enron, and all of the other members of the Corrupt Bastards Club, with the latest outrageous entry being the Peanut Corporation of America, who knowingly sold salmonella-tainted nuts to poor kids enrolled in school free-lunch programs while Bush’s FDA inspectors slept on the job. (Maybe they should have tried cake instead.)

6. Myth: “Bill O’Reilly and Fox News never really got anything wrong.” Truth: Yes, they have, and the list is as long as your arm. Proof: Here are some highlights and a link:

Reviewing the accuracy of Fox News and O’Reilly over the past eight years:

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February 6, 2009

The Tattlesnake – The Dying of the Right Part Deux Edition

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you concentrate on.”
– George W. Bush

“It is the tragedy of the world that no one knows what he doesn’t know — and the less a man knows, the more sure he is that he knows everything.”
– Joyce Cary

Larry (not his real name) pretty much confirms what many of us already suspected about the “I hope he fails” crowd. After years of taking public surveys, Lar developed this scientific rule of thumb, which can be stated thusly: “Twenty percent of the American people are utter freaking morons.” To put it another way, about two out of ten knew such tidbits as all or most of the rights guaranteed in the First Amendment, the names of their two senators, in what century the Second World War was fought, who LBJ was and what his initials stood for, and how old the United States is; six of ten knew at least one senator, and managed to get more than half of the American history/political questions correct; two out of ten, meanwhile, barely knew what century they were living in and were hard put to name the kind of skin used to make a bear skin rug. Guess what political party and ideology was embraced by 90 percent of the bottom-feeding twenty percent, and who their favorite radio talk show host was?

Speaking of Rush Limbaugh, I heard the other day that the three most well-known Republicans in the nation were Maj. Anal Cyst, Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber’s Helper, a regular triumvirate of Jim Crow snark, Wasillabilly fark and dee-do-diddley dumb fronting for the wealthy old firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe. The GOP is in the process of desperately trying to shore up its dwindling ‘base’ of Jaywalk All-Stars, and the Democrats, borrowing their gumption from single-cell amoeba, continue to flinch at the shadow of the embalmed corpse of Ronald Reagan, the threatened filibusters of King Wanker Mitch McConnell, and the fading influence of the soon-to-be perp walked Karl Rove. I’ve given up seeking the goose juice to make the Dems act like winners for a change. We can only hope Sheriff Obama will be able to corral these shaky steers long enough to pass legislation to end Bush’s National Nightmare. Out of ideas, out of favor, out of power, and sinking ignominiously into the Hee Haw-rerun party, this is all the GOP has left.

Former Dan Quayle Chief of Staff and Original Neocon Bill Kristol, lately bounced from the NY Times op-ed page as even Andy Rosenthal could no longer cover for his nitwittery with a straight face, has laid out the reason for the strident and baffling GOP opposition to the badly-needed stimulus package: this is just the warm-up to the big fight coming over health care reform, of which the Republicans want none, contrary to the wishes of the vast majority of the public. Why does the right-wing hate America?

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