John McCain Instructs Sarah Palin On the Fine Points of Foreign Policy…
McCAIN: “Okay, now, let’s start with Iraq. What do you know about Iraq?”
PALIN: “Well, I’ve been to Kuwait for a short visit and that’s right next door to Iraq!”
McCAIN: “Is it? Okay, then, you’re an expert on Iraq! Let me give you one tip, though: Don’t let the reporters trip you up on that ‘Shia-Sunni’ stuff. Listen, they’re all the same over there – just a bunch of crazy ragheads peddling carpets.”
PALIN: “Uh, what about those Kurds or whatever I’ve heard about?”
McCAIN: “Ah, curds are something you get in cottage cheese. Don’t bother your pretty little head over that BS; I know I don’t.”
PALIN: “How about Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan?”
McCAIN: “Don’t worry about ‘em. More crazy ragheads and we’ll just blow ‘em off the map if they cause any trouble.”
PALIN: “Well, what else do I need to know?”
McCAIN: “Let’s see, you’ve been to Germany once, so you’ve got Europe knocked, and your plane touched down in Ireland, so that covers the UK, and you know about Russia since you’re right across the water from ‘em – that’s about it except for China and North Korea. Hey, did you see the Olympics on TV?”
PALIN: “Sure.”
McCAIN: “A lot of the people in the audience there were Chinese – you know, like gooks. The North Koreans are the same damn thing. Just watch out for ‘em, is all, ’cause they’re known for being diabolical. I read all about it in those Fu Manchu books when I was a boy. Man, when I become president, I’m gonna send in the Marines and rip that Chink demon Manchu a new one!”
PALIN: “What about all of this stuff in Georgia I hear on the radio, war or whatever? I don’t even know where that place is.”
McCAIN: “It’s just north of Florida. You don’t have to worry about any of that crap – that’s just Cheney trying to start the Cold War again to give us Republicans something to campaign on this year. Sure can’t campaign on the wonderful friggin’ economy can we? Ha, ha!”
PALIN: “So, is there anything else I need to know?”
McCAIN: “Nope. You’re as much of an expert on foreign policy as I am now.”
PALIN: “Wow, I never realized how easy foreign policy really is! Thanks, John!”
McCAIN: “C’mon over here and show Big John how grateful you are.”
PALIN: “I’ll get the Viagra. Do you want me to wear the moosehead again?”
McCAIN: “Oh, yeah, gotta have the moosehead. Heh, heh, heh — you’re gonna make a great Vice President, kiddo!”
The Tattlesnake – More GOP Goop: Deaf Con 3 Edition
Random Notes Summing Up the End of Summer Bummer in St. Paul
“Fight with me! Fight with me!”
– John McCain in his acceptance speech at the GOP Con, Sept. 4, 2008, so desperate for combat he invited the audience to throw a punch at him.
The 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota, was entertaining and credible if you happen to have that happy zealot’s mindset indistinguishable from serious brain damage, or you’re a member of the Inner Party with a large Memory Hole nearby and a strong stomach. Indeed, George Orwell could have written the script for this GOP Con and you could hear echoes of the boot-heel patriotism of Oceania ringing in its blaring signage and loudly repeated declarations – “Country First!” “Service!” “Character Counts!” “War Hero!” “Reformer!” “Maverick!” “USA!” “Surge Working!” “NO-bama!” — simple themes for simple minds marinated in the bottomless pit of Big Media Infotainment Newspeak and endless wars against shifting enemies, buttressed by increasingly irrational rationales.
Yet never was heard a discouraging word against the Bush Administration and the avaricious corporate-Republican values for which it stands that have promulgated and prolonged the various disasters sinking us on every front – instead, Frank Luntz’s cheesy framing word “Washington” was employed so that the top-of-the-ticket ‘reformers’ had something to ‘change’ other than the guiding precepts of their own party and Sarah Palin’s prominently-displayed infant son. The unasked question that hung over the convention like a cloud from Hurricane Gustav: ‘Yes, Washington is even more corrupt than usual and we are descending into utter catastrophe – and who is responsible for causing all of this misery?’ He That Must Be Obliged But Otherwise Go Unmentioned appeared on the Jumbotron screen early in the evening on the first day, his embarrassing video endorsing McCain stuck into those hours of the evening when, presumably, small-town America was still having dinner and would never see the Bush Boy and think of his Unmentionable PNAC Partner-in-Crime Dick Cheney, the True Author of our rampant economic and global woes.
McCain and Palin both exhibited signs of having an out-of-party experience as they berated the soulless suppurating boils and abscesses populating the Potomac Swamplands in the form of Big Money lobbyists and Special Interests that have brought the country so low, without ever hinting that most of them had an RNC elephant logo on their money clips and the rapacious Jesus of Mammon in their born-again hearts. For that matter, most of the larger fish work in McCain’s own campaign. But perhaps the most comically surreal moment of the three nights came when Mitt Romney, formerly McCain’s dedicated primary foe, erupted from the podium with this public hallucination to the cheers of the damned and deranged:
“We need change, all right. Change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington. We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals.”
– Mitt Romney, Sept. 3, 2008.
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2008/09/08-2
That’s the essence of the snake-eating-its-tail message emerging from St. Paul to unite the party – let’s toss out big-government liberals Bush and Cheney and start anew.
We’re Not Out of Touch – We’re Republicans Without Issues!
“This election is not about issues. This election is about a composite view of what people take away from these candidates.”
– Rick Davis, McCain’s campaign manager, quoted by the Washington Post’s The Fix blog.
To the party leaders and McCain’s campaign staff, ignorance is strength, and really the only strength McCain has left. If the public can be allayed by clever rhetoric, bamboozled by slick video bios, befuddled by down-is-up deceptions, or baffled by calculated bluster from determining the bitter truth about the Republican presidential candidate and his running mate for just two months, the GOP believes they can seize the White House for the third time in this new century.
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