July 14, 2010

Ye Olde Scribe Presents: A Neo Con Take on Curious George

Filed under: Commentary,Guest Comment,Monkey Mail — Ye Olde Scribe @ 2:12 pm

Better days,: back when Curious George actually basked under the “glorious” picture of Junior’s Mommy at the White House during his maladministration.

This is a take off of an actual book about our adventurous simian.

Curious George went to the museum of Natural History. Apparently he hadn’t heard that God created the whole damn planet in a week, more or less, and then relaxed to have a deity strength doobie. You really should try them. When the blessed Saint Dean entered Heaven he introduced God to this all powerful herb. Ever since then they’ve been doing concerts for the angels singing, “Doobie doobie do….”

Curious George wandered amongst the exhibits. He was really interested in a big dinosaur called Tyrannosaurus Rex, right next to Michael the Savage Weiner Rex and Rex Harrison. So he hid in a bathroom and do what monkeys often do… until closing time. If you don’t know what monkeys “often do,” let’s just say that Curious George was very sore, especially when he tried to do number one, after waiting in the bathroom so long.

Once the museum was closed he climbed aboard Rex and started whooping as the bomb dropped down to the ground….

Sorry. That wasn’t George, but it was a famous movie.

He climbed aboard dino Rex and dino Rex broke. Alarms went off. Homeland Security showed up. They dragged off Curious George to Gitmo where they did far worse unspeakable things to George than George did to himself. By the time they got through with him he had admitted to plotting 9/11, murdering Michael Jackson, causing his sister’s wardrobe “malfunction,” sabotaging BPs well and being Satan himself. Proving once again that Neo Cons know how to protect America and anyone who dares to disagree with them needs to join Curious George.

There, now wasn’t that a nice little story, boys and girls?

Next we’ll read from another Neo Con children’s book: Bessie the Sheep and Lush Dimbulb Get Married Then Go to Neo Con College.
Subtitle: Flock Ewe.

September 13, 2007

Monkey Mail

Filed under: Monkey Mail — Bart @ 6:18 pm

You don’t want an honest debate, mother(effer).

ha ha

You want to hear tough-talk at the top of the approved DNC ticket. That’s your sole motivation. I have your number dialed in now, you fucking hawk.

Looks like somebody has their panties all bunched up.

In truth, you should be wearing a pink tu-tu, because you support the war hawks of both parties. You have been wrong all along to suggest that the Democrats were weak or stymied. In truth they support Bush, but they need to make a show for the peaceniks in the party. Dig?

So, you’re in the fewer-nukes = more wars camp?

You are truly stupid if you think the basic agenda about controlling the sale of oil and maintaining the petro-dollar hegemony is not first and foremost on both the Republican and Democratic plates.

No telling what you meant to say,
but we need oil until we have something to replace it.

Fuck you, Bart (or whoever you are).

Actually I’m Judy, a Jewish lesbian postal worker from Tacoma.

Your “BFEE” only accounts for half of the equation. The Democrats are complicit with the big plan up to their ears, but you are too stupid to recognize it.

You have it all figured out – why not create a blog and impress people?

But thanks for the lightweight cartoons.

Richard, why do you read stupid people’s blogs?

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