I suck at predicting things but I am committing these to paper,(sort of), so next year we will see how good a prognosticator I am. So here it is an off the wall list of predictions for 2008.
We will have another major infrastructure failure ala Ohio bridge collapse and the MSM will forget about it as soon as the good pictures are gone, ala Ohio. Does anybody remember Katrina? Is New Orleans back? Is Afghanistan safe yet? Reality is what the MSM tells you it is and it better damn come with good visuals, because if it doesn’t, it does not sell magazines papers or viewers.
Florida will be hit with a category 5 hurricane and we will find out that FEMA is even less prepared than they were for Katrina.
Fidel Castro will die. Nothing will change. We will find out that the famous Florida Cubans know it’s more profitable to complain about the fate of their island than actually doing anything about it.
There is a better than 90% chance Hugo Chavez will suffer another coup or assassination attempt and a better than 50% chance it will succeed. If it does succeed we can expect that the regional allies will complain loudly, but other than increasing their distrust of US regional power, nothing will happen. Venezuela will go back to being a corrupt country run by crooks for the chosen few. If it does not succeed we will know exactly how radical Hugo Chavez can be, forming stronger alliances with Iran, Cuba, China, regional partners and possibly cutting off Venezuela oil to the US market. Cutting off the oil will be very difficult, as Citgo is a wholly owned Venezuelan company, but the Chinese may make it worthwhile.
The Kurds, after being attacked by US regional ally Turkey, and remembering being abandoned by Bush I and now Bush II, will turn on our troops in Iraq, thus losing our only ally in the country.
Pakistan will become more militantly Muslim and ruled by an ever weaker, in name only, US ally. The concerns we had about Iran and nuclear weapons will shift strongly towards Pakistan.
Israel and the Palestinians will again come up with another grand peace initiative. Then they will continue killing each other with each side claiming victimhood. In short, at least one thing is constant, not good, but constant.
Afghanistan will again have a record opium crop while our puppet and our soldiers will be hunkered down in their mansion and bases.
The Dollar will continue in a free fall reaching a low of $.50 to the Euro.
Real Estate values will continue in a free fall with the only bright spot being Europeans buying up properties in resort areas as the Japanese did in the 80’s.
Fuel prices will continue soaring and increasing the cost of goods. While the CPI does not take into account the price of fuel and groceries, these prices will continue to rise and have a real inflationary affect on the economy. We will reach a very serious recession which will feel like a depression.
Gold will be the next bubble that people will fall back on. Just like the internet boom, then the housing boom, it will be promoted very heavily and the price will rise steeply, and then just like other bubbles, the big guys will take their profits and leave the little guy holding the empty bag. The big guys will be on to the next bubble they can exploit.
Elections if they happen: John Edwards will be democratic candidate with Osama or Richardson as the VP nominee. There is no way to tell who will be the Republican nominee, they all suck. They suck so much they may give a new meaning to the word suck.
I have previously discounted Mike Bloomberg as a candidate. I was mistaken. I was thinking about primaries and his need to file in time for the primaries. He is an independent he can jump in at any time, and he will. Mike is running and Chuck Hagel is his VP nominee. This is as much about ego as anything that ever came down the pike. But believe it, this guy is a serious contender. He could spend a billion dollars and still be a billionaire. Nobody else can do that. It does not hurt that he is a reasonable guy. He is the mayor of a very liberal city and manages to have very high approval ratings despite some missteps. If he runs the sexual harassment lawsuits at his firm will pursue him, but as in NYC, I doubt they will seriously harm his chances.
So, prediction? The Democratic nominee will not gain enough electoral votes to win the Electoral College, Mike will not either; the Republican nominee will be trounced. There will emerge a third political party in America, the Republican Party will go the way of the Bull Moose, The Wigs and Know Nothings. The Democratic Party is weak with very weak leadership. If this election is decided in congress as I expect it will be, Mike Bloomberg will win.
This may actually be a desirable result. With a very weak Republican Party, and a new, also weak party looking for members this may be the opportunity Democrats are looking for to split the party. True Democrats need a true strong party, not the weak alliance of progressives, Blue Dogs and Joe Liberman that continually undermine party strength. A new Democratic Party may actually take the initiative and make Harry and Nancy as irrelevant as they want to be.
The real news as told by the MSM in 2008:
That missing Aruba girl will be spotted in a bathroom in Tennessee. Would not have been spotted except her stall was out of paper and she made a scene.
Britney Spears impregnated by an alien. She thought he was Mexican or from another place in Europe.
Tom Cruise drops Scientology and wants to run for Pope. He figures he has about 20 million to spend on the campaign. Katie is already designing pointy hats for him.
Barbara Walters and Larry King get hitched, but quickly divorce after they realize they both love to talk but can’t stand the sound of each other’s voice.
Dolly Parton dies and donates her breasts to science, with the stipulation that they would be mounted at Dollywood after science was done with them.
NY, the girl from the reality show, breaks up Dr. Phil’s marriage. He claims the devil made him do it.
Elvis found living in a bungalow outside Las Vegas with Tara Reid. No comment was available as Elvis had peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth and could not speak. Tara could not be resuscitated for the interview.
Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton announce they are a couple and wish to adopt a rich baby as they are running out of cash. Christina Onassis, thought a little old, said to be considering the offer.
Happy New Year
The Tattlesnake — The Next Economic Shock, Stroke Up the Bandwagon, and a New Conspiracy Theory Edition
Christmas a Lead Weight: In early December, MSNBC reported that the Consumer Action Council was warning that 35 percent of the toys on American shelves contained lead or other toxic substances — how many of those items are going to end up poisoning some poor kid and leaving him or her with mush for brains? Does Mattel care? They’ll probably just issue a dumbed-down Barbie (if that’s possible) that the lead-retarded kids can identify with — “Let’s have fun! Why don’t you feed me and change my adult diaper?” Speaking of the Xmas shopping season, it was even more of a dud than last year, as the US economy slowly slides its way to a full-blown depression. As the AP reported December 26th: (more…)