May 31, 2011

Say “Goodbye!” to the Social Security Program?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:42 pm

People who have been fleeced by swindlers often had soaring moments of euphoria, based on expectations of “easy money,” right before they experienced the OMG “The Money’s gone!” revelation that “things aren’t what they seem.” The Sixties philosophy of “Don’t harsh my bliss” might be used to avoid any mention this week of the potential for future dangers of the results from the electronic voting machines because good manners would require most conspiracy theory lunatics to let the Democrats revel in their moment of ecstasy. [Wasn’t there a Roman politician who while he rode to his coronation, had a fellow reminding him that “this too shall pass!”?] That would be rude and we won’t touch that topic . . . the hell we won’t !

It might not be very polite to point out that if the results of the New York 26th Congressional District’s special election cause the Democrats to bet everything on that issue in the 2012 elections; it will be too late to object if the results, which can not be contested, produce what appears to be a massive nationwide repudiation of health care (and by extension the Social Security program itself).

Did acting rashly get Gen. Custer into trouble? Should the Democrats read up on the philosophy of an ambush before going “all in” on Medicare?

Brad Friedman has worked relentlessly to bring the issue of the reliability of the electronic voting machines to the attention of the voters who belong to the Democratic Party and if America gets hustled into a humiliating “winner take all” contest in 2012, the “I tried to warn you” bragging rights will be of little consolation to him and other sincere partisan political pundits if he gets the rights to express that sentiment.

The World’s Laziest Journalist will, if the Democrats get skinned alive by the 2012 election results, will have his reaction measured on the Nihilism Meter (which measures from one to ten shrugs of the shoulders) and turn his attention to other topics.

Has Banksy been active in the Berkeley CA area recently?

In his book “Profoundly Disturbing Shocking Movies that Changed History!,” Joe Bob Brigs reports that the film “Ilsa She Wolf of the SS” the lead character, Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne), was based on the real life historical figure of a woman named Ilsa Kohler Koch. Is she related to some Americans who have been dabbling in philanthropy and political causes recently?

John Wayne teamed up with actress Marlene Dietrich for three movies in the early Forties. One of them, “Seven Sinners,” was a tale of life in the South Pacific and we are desperately seeking a chance to see that movie. Is it on VHS? Would that be one of the films shown as part of the Forbidden Island Monthly Monday Night Cult Movies series in Alameda?

Speaking of John Wayne, we’ve watched a number of Western movies on Video tape recently, and have noted that they almost always feature a speech with a hero elaborating on America’s principals of honesty, fair play, and a code of conduct using the principle of chivalry for the treatment of captured enemy soldiers.

We are waiting for some politician to give a stirring speech in Congress reminding America that the country holds itself to a higher level of principles than those exemplified by the Inquisition, Genghis Kahn (of “Citizen Kahn” fame?), and the Gestapo. We have abandoned hope for such a Frank Capra moment to occur in Washington D. C.

The World’s Laziest Journalist isn’t being paid to shill for the Democratic Party and so we feel free to continue our criticism of the Bush war crimes even if they are being embraced by his Democratic Party successor.

Advocating human rights for people suspected of conducting terrorist activities is as outdated and antediluvian as it would be to suggest that the Hayes code be reinstated.

In the 1940 movie “Dark Command,” directed by Raoul Walsh starring John Wayne, the script writer just had to inject some political propaganda and have a character assert that the Civil War was about cheap labor and not over the South’s campaign to continue the efforts of America’s founding fathers to administer the Constitution’s establishment of state’s rights. Is it any wonder that soon after that Congress had to hold hearings to reveal to the voters how communists were infiltrating America’s pop culture to sway their thinking?

Partisan political commentators must always follow the party line but curmudgeonly columnist critics of contemporary culture don’t have to be so boringly predictable. They can, if they choose, vacillate between liberal and conservative from one paragraph to the next. If the net result is to make readers stop and think about what the columnist is trying to say; that may be a clever way to lure readers into starting to think for themselves and not letting Fucks News do it for them.

When George W. Bush first announced his intention of using combat soldiers to bring democracy to Iraq, did any of the critics on the Left think that by 2012 the Democratic Party would be adhering to most of the aspects of the Bush administration methodology such as an attack on Libya without any Congressional approval (or debate even) or torture or attempts to straighten out the Social Security “mess”? Are we there yet?

If the Democrats go “all in” with the Medicare Issue and the results are a Republican landslide, will FDR’s New Deal then be as much of a quaint anachronism as is Howard Hughes’ movie “The Outlaw”? Will the Democrats then still consider critics of the electronic voting machines as conspiracy theory lunatics . . . or prophets?

According to Steven Bach, in his book “Marlene Dietrich Life and Legend,” (page 292) the actress during a radio broadcast to boost troop morale for the Allies, suddenly adlibbed this line: “Jungs! Opfert euch nicht! Der krieg ist doch Scheisse, Hitler ist ein Idiot!” It took Americans a short time to realize that reducing the German’s morale level was as desirable a goal as was boosting the spirits of the American soldiers.

Now the disk jockey will play “See What the Boys in the Backroom Are Having,” “Please, Mr. Custer,” and John Wayne’s version (from “The Quiet Man”) of “Wild Colonial Boy.” We have to go see if we can locate a VHS copy of “Destry Rides Again.” Have a “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” (Didn’t he get fired at the 1940 Oscar™ Awards?) type week.

How to resist torture in America: “Do unto others…”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Jane Stillwater @ 10:23 am

Today me and my daughter Ashley went up to Hilltop Mall because we wanted to get photos of my granddaughter Mena taken so we could all have wallet-sized pictures of Mena looking insanely cute. And as we were waiting for our turn at the photo shop, I started asking Ashley questions about torture.

“Torture? Huh? What does torture have to do with wallet-sized cuteness?” Nothing. Get over it. As a blogger’s daughter, your job is to supply input — not to reason why. Okay then.

“Just suppose for a minute that all the Arabs in all the Arab countries throughout the Middle East who have been tortured over the past many decades by various American forces and spy agencies and corporatists — that they all suddenly got together with all the various Asians in all the many Asian countries west of the Indus and Urals where Americans have tortured quite a lot of people, and that all the Latinos from Mexico and all the many Central and South American countries where Americans have tortured untold numbers of people thanks to excellent torture techniques taught at the infamous School of the Americas, and that all the blood-covered Africans from all the economically-colonized African countries where American armies, intelligence agencies and corporations have tortured people over the past many decades since Patrice Lumumba and all the….”

“Okay. Okay. I get the idea.”

“And that all of these innumerable abused victims of American torture all banded together, consolidated all their armies and natural resources and anger and stockpiles of nuclear weapons, and then all of them came after us all at one time? All of them? And overran the entire USA from Boston to San Diego?”

“It might happen,” replied Ashley, “but it probably won’t.”

“Yeah, but just supposing that it did — then my question is this: If we absolutely positively for certain knew that all of these Others were going to do to us what we had already done to them — then how could we possibly prepare ourselves for such an event? How could we teach ourselves to endure or resist and/or even to survive such hard-line torture — like what Americans handed out at places like Guantanamo, Baghram and Abu Ghraib?”

I mean, of course, besides having to learn to endure the torture of having to spend a day at the mall.

“Haven’t got a clue,” Ashley answered. Me neither. How can you even begin to toughen up and prepare for something like that? Perhaps we could do what all too many Americans are already doing now — and become homeless? It takes plenty of guts to survive that. In order to be homeless, you really do gotta man up.

Or you could play continuous 24-hour loops of recordings of colicky screaming babies? Trust me, that would toughen anyone up. Or you could almost drown yourself in the bathtub each night. Or go without toilet paper? Or audition for Survivor?

There really isn’t any good way to prepare oneself for being tortured — except for this one: Stop torturing other people and then hope to God that they will then stop wanting to torture you in return. “What goes around comes around.” Didn’t Jesus say that?

PS: Considering that we were shopping at Hilltop Mall on a Saturday afternoon right after payday — considered by many to be the absolute primo time-slot for shopping — this mall was strangely deserted. On any given Saturday afternoon ten years ago, this place would have been mobbed!

PPS: Well, guess what? America already HAS been “invaded”. And here’s a video from MSNBC commentator Cenk Uygur to prove it:

In this video, we are shown an image of almost all our congressional representatives giving the prime minister of Israel many standing ovations, even though everything that Bibi had just said goes totally against our own national interests.

In this video, Netanyahu is stating that the West Bank and Gaza belong to him because his ancestors occupied it 2,500 years ago. Okay. But under that logic, then Congress needs to supply the Pine Ridge Indian reservation in South Dakota with billions — or perhaps even trillions — of dollars so that they can take back the West Bank of the Potomac! Or else we should start supplying Italians with fighter jets and tanks so they can take back Jerusalem — which used to be part of the old Roman Empire.

America has already been invaded — and conquered! — by Israel’s corporatist lobbyists. In this video, you can watch Congress give our occupiers many standing ovations. Do you think that Congress would give the same kind of standing ovations to, say, American union leaders? Or Americans who want single-payer healthcare? Or American college students who want better schools? Or mayors of American cities pleading for better infrastructure? No way!

You think that Israel’s corporatist lobbyists don’t already “occupy” America? In his speech to an Israeli corporatist lobbying association recently, President Obama pretty much says it all when he addresses AIPAC president Lee Rosenberg by his nickname.

“Rosy, thank you for your many years of friendship,” says Obama. “Back in Chicago, when I was just getting started in national politics, I reached out to a lot of people for advice and counsel, and Rosy was one of the very first. When I made my first visit to Israel, after entering the Senate, Rosy, you were at my side every step of that profound journey through the Holy Land. So I want to thank you for your enduring friendship, your leadership, and for your warm introduction today.”

Even Obama is beholden to Israel’s corporatist lobby (and clearly not to the voters who elected him). I rest my case.

PPPS: America has also been “invaded” by its own political and military leaders — who clearly represent themselves instead of us.

Here’s an article by journalist Anwaar Hussain, describing how the people of Pakistan have been used, misinformed and manipulated by their political and military leaders — and how, as a result, the future of Pakistan has been pretty much doomed But guess what? The same sorry conditions now engulfing these poor unwary Pakistanis are also now engulfing most Americans too. Too bad for us, suckers. The rich get richer and we get NOTHING.

And then there’s America’s third major “invasion” — by the Federal Reserve and the banksters and Wall Street, institutions that have absolutely no allegiance to America at all but rather to international cartels that play out grim blood-money oligarch games that also suck America dry. And where is the anger here either? Like Pakistan, have we too become just another minor nation of victims who relish the role of being masochists? Apparently so.

More and more, I am beginning to think that I’m completely wasting my time here even trying to write about possible viable solutions to all of America’s woes — or about various sensible ways to keep MY country from being swallowed up by its economic occupiers.

America is going to Hell in a hand-basket right now, and the only solutions to these troubles that our so-called leaders keep feeding us are the same old tired solutions that got us into this terrible mess in the first place — more unnecessary wars, more influence by bankers, more media lies, more anti-depressants (, more corrupt politicians — and more Americans who absolutely eat up all these faux solutions like they were pieces of Marie Antoinette’s cake.

Doesn’t anybody in America have any common sense left at all right now — except for perhaps a handful of progressive bloggers and some little old ladies like me? Or have any sense at all for that matter?

May 30, 2011

Down By the Old Rumor Mill Stream, Part Whatever

Devon Keester’s Hollywood Lowdown
“The dark, sweaty juncture where politics and show biz meet!”

[Note: Since Keester’s sources are shady and unreliable and usually found near a vinyl-covered barstool, his ramblings should be taken with a several grains of salt from the rim of his next margarita.]

Biden Over and Out: Obama will not be running with Biden as his Veep in 2012. Word is, Joe Biden is feeling every one of his 68 years and not anxious to enter another national campaign after finally facing the realization he’ll never be president. That’s okey-doke with Obama, as it gives him the opening to offer the VP slot to Hillary Clinton, further underwriting his re-election. Now that the sharp edges of the 2008 campaign have softened, and BHO and Sec-of-State Hill have a good working relationship, he would welcome her as a running mate, and the youthful 63-year-old Clinton would have a springboard for a presidential run in 2016. The only question that remains is if Hillary will sign on. She may not have the stomach for another national campaign herself, preferring, maybe, the governorship of a state to be named later instead. If not Clinton, Obama would like to make history, and notch his appeal to women voters, by naming someone of the female gender. Next on the list if Clinton doesn’t bite is supposedly Jennifer Granholm, the former governor of Michigan, although US Rep. Loretta Sanchez of California, Sen. Claire McCaskill of Missouri and Sen. Patty Murray of Washington state are said to be strong possibilities as well.

The Story Behind the Story: Yup, Newt Gingrich had a suspicious interest-free revolving charge account at Tiffany’s for two years that racked up $500 grand in billings, but that’s not all. Ignoring for the moment that regular customers pay 21 percent interest on their charges, Newtie’s current wife Callista, when she was a lobbyist, had ties to the silver mining industry from which Tiffany’s fabricates its overpriced doodads, and Gingrich himself, while in the House, interceded to get the jewelry company a very sweet deal on use of public lands for mining. The Newtster may soon have more to worry about than his doomed SNL-skit presidential campaign — the feds are taking notice of his involvement with the Tiff, and whether he actually paid down that half-mil himself or if some or all of it was written off by the grateful company as a lobbying fee. Whichever way it goes, Newt is going to end up in a courtroom somewhere, trying to stay out of the hoosegow, and probably still running for president in his fevered little brain. No wonder Newtie was reluctant to answer any questions about his $500K shopping spree at Tiffany’s — it’s looking like a quid pro quo bribe.

The Story Behind the Story, Part Deux: Sure, it’s been all over the papers like a dog who got into the prune juice that pouty ex-Alaskan Ice Princess Sarah Palin is moving the whole-damn Wasillabilly brood to a luxurious $1.7 million 5-BR, 6.5-bath manse with a concrete swimmin’ hole in Scottsdale, AZ, near enough to America’s wackiest sheriff, Joe Arpaio, to be in the Red Zone if any of his pink-clad prisoners escape. But let’s just get this out of the way: the erstwhile Mama Grizzly is not running for president — her ‘tragic bus’ tour of the Nor’east is just to revive national media interest in her fast-plummeting ‘brand,’ whatever her crackpot brand is these days. How could this be when all the big-time pundits are sure she’s running? Well, she hasn’t been kicked off Fox News, and she’s got a $1 mil-a-year contract there that runs through 2013. But she also allegedly has speaking contracts to read her palm to unfortunate victims through 2014; if she reneges on those contracts — since she can’t legally take the money if she’s a candidate — she’ll have to pay a stiff penalty. That would cost her a bundle out of pocket she can’t afford. Get your laughs now — by 2015 she’ll be off Fox and consigned to introducing second-rate Branson, MO, acts with, “Hi there, remember me? I’m Sarah Palin!”

– Ailes Out at Fox? Speaking of Fox Noose, head-major-domo-top-enchilada, first-among-inferiors Generalissimo Roger Ailes’ contract with king pinsetter Rupert Murdoch is up in 2013. Surely Uncle Rupe will renew it, you say. Not so fast: Murdoch’s recent wife Wendi likes Obama and loathes Ailes, and Rupe’s wives have considerable influence on him; plus, the whole fam damily who will be inheriting the business when Murdoch retires or ascends to Media Jesusland likewise has about as much affection for the former Nixon PR flack as they do for a case of the clap. Word is, James Murdoch, current deputy operating office at Fox parent News Corp, particularly has it in for Ailes after what Rog did to brother Lachlan, supposedly pushing James’ older sibling to the point of a nervous breakdown. The elder Murdoch is also said to not be pleased at the direction Ailes has dragged the GOP-propaganda cable channel; of course, he favors its conservative slant, but the hiring of palpable nitwits like Boom-Boom Palin and Man-On-Dog Ricky Santorum didn’t sit well with News Corps’ Bigga Boss. Look for a shake-up at Fox after the next election, unless the GOP wins Reagan-’84 big.

One More Fox Tale: A deep, deep rumor says the Keith Olbermann ousting at MSNBC was part of a deal with Fox News’ Roger Ailes. Seems Keith, the former ratings king at MSNBC, was getting under Roger’s skin with his gloves-off jibes at Fox personalities, as well as cutting into Fox’s cable dominance as his ‘Countdown’ show numbers steadily increased. In a top secret meeting with Comcast, then poised to buy up MSNBC parent NBC-Universal, Ailes and unnamed execs from Comcast and NBC allegedly struck a deal to lessen the attacks on Fox and dump Olbermann once the Comcast buy-out was finalized; in return, Fox would go easier on NBC and provide some other goodies. Part of the bargain was that MSNBC would get rid of its top rater and Fox would reciprocate. So Ailes agreed to jettison Fox ratings leader Glenn Beck in return for Olbermann’s exit. Roger got the best of the deal — he wanted to give loose-cannon Beck the heave-ho anyway while MSNBC is now struggling in Keith’s old primetime slot, and Olbermann is fixing to cut down those ‘Lean Forward’ numbers even further when he resurrects ‘Countdown’ June 20th on Al Gore’s Current TV network at his old 8e/7c berth.

He Won’t Be Baack: A big dime is about to drop (but not in the form of a ‘bag’) on former Kali-forn-yuh guff’nor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Seems the ex-bodybuilder and purported actor had more than one out-of-wedlock bambino while married to Kennedy-kin Maria Shriver — mayhap as many as 6 or 7 — and all of their mamas want more money or they are calling the media. Add to that the news that the California AG is about to prosecute the Teutonic Musclehead for using state troopers to deliver comely young ‘club’ females 18-to-25 to his Governator living quarters at the Hyatt hotel in Sacramento, a clear misuse of state funds. It’s been reported Schwarzy planned to resume his ‘achting’ career post-politics — fat chance, since the word is the major studios now think he’s not ‘bankable’ at the box office anymore. (Perhaps he can nab the independent-film roles Casper Van Dien turns down, at Van Dien pay, natch.) Oh, and one more thing: all the years of stress on his bones and muscles from over-exercising and steroid use have taken their toll — the 63-year-old Ah-nuld allegedly now has the physical mobility of a man 20 years older and can only function normally by taking prescription painkillers.

© 2011 RS Janes.

May 28, 2011

The GOP: They Came From Outer Space!


May 25, 2011

Workers! Join the Republican Party!


May 24, 2011

No worries, Mom: New vaccines to solve the autism issue?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Jane Stillwater @ 4:27 pm

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had lunch with a scientist friend of mine. “What project are you working on now?” I asked her over a bowlful of chicken curry and a cup of hot chai at Vik’s Chaat Cafe in West Berkeley.

“I’m currently doing DNA research for a new start-up bio-tech company,” she replied. “Right now we’re working on perfecting a new way to make vaccines — and this new technique clearly has definite advantages over the older methods because it works in a whole different way. Instead of injecting a live bug into people like they’ve been doing since back in the days of Louis Pasteur, we can now isolate small sections of some killer bug’s DNA and make a vaccine out of that. Jane, this is so exciting! We’re almost there! Our clinical trials will be starting in only six months!”

“But what’s so exciting about that?” sez me. “It just means that there will be even more types of vaccines to inflict on the world’s poor vulnerable babies and cause them to get autism — and probably Alzheimer’s too.” Hey, I’m Old Skool when it comes to inflicting dozens of needless vaccines on our poor sweet guinea-pig children.

“But Jane,” my friend corrected me, “it’s not the vaccines that do the damage. It’s the chemicals that these live bugs have to be stored in so that the vaccines will be viable for long periods of time. Pasteur never had that problem. If he wanted to vaccinate someone, he just went out and grabbed a local milkmaid with cow pox. But things are different these days.”

“You mean that vaccines really are actually helpful?”

“Absolutely. They have saved millions — perhaps even billions — of lives. You might even owe your own life to one. They are one of the main cornerstones to the preservation of all human life.” Yeah right. “However, if you can discover a way to deliver vaccines to people without having to deliver the potentially harmful storage chemicals as well, then you’re home free. And we have just now solved that problem!” Heck, even I was starting to get excited about this.

“If you can take just a small fraction of a killer bug’s DNA and inject it, human bodies will then, according to our research, develop immunities and antibodies just the same as if it had been injected with the live bug. AND. Our new DNA vaccines will be able to be stored and transported without having to use any of the dangerous chemicals that we are now forced to rely on.”

“That’s huge.”

“Better believe it.”

PS: Unfortunately, all this wonderful research is gonna come to fruition too late for me. As a result of receiving high doses of chemical-laced vaccines within a very short period of time, I think that I already have autism. And probably Alzheimer’s as well. And also Gilliam-Barre syndrome and definitely peripheral neuropathy too. Boy do I HATE vaccines.

According to an article in, “There are currently over 5,000 court cases pending that claim autism as a result of vaccine injury.”

In 2007, I joined the Peace Corps and was happily sent off to South Africa where, in the course of a few weeks, I was given a series of vaccinations for almost every single disease known to man — and immediately had huge reactions. And my cognitive thinking, speech, physical coordination, breathing abilities, mental orientation and muscle strength immediately started going downhill. I even got so sick that the Peace Corps had to send me home.

If you ever want proof that the miserable rotten chemicals in modern vaccines cause problems in humans, I’m living proof. And, as an adult, I can clearly articulate what happened to me — the pain I went through, how I am still suffering side effects today and how I’ve noticeably changed. But imagine if you were just a bay and had reactions like mine? How could you tell your doctor to back off? You couldn’t.

PPS: After our lunch at Vik’s, my friend and I went off to a lecture on infant linguistics and language learning processes in young children. Here are three of the lecturer’s main “take-away” points:

First: Whether you use an “infant-directed register” (aka baby-talk) or not, it really doesn’t matter. What matters most in encouraging a baby’s ability to learn how to talk is that you try to communicate in a manner that meaningfully connects to a baby’s environment through cues — such as pointing, holding items up, etc. But the major factor here is your ability to communicate respect to the infant or young child.

Second: Babies have trouble making neumonic distinctions if there are also neumonic distractions such as a constant noisy environment. Background noise — even music — inhibits language development.

Third: Children do not get confused by exposure to a second language — in fact it has been found that children exposed to more than one language have higher self-esteem. However, if a parent is emotionally attached to teaching his or her child a heritage language, children may pick up on this emotional tension and may refuse to use the heritage language as a result, having associated it with emotional issues rather than with those of simply learning new sounds. But not to fear. Just eliminate the emotional baggage and merely keep using the language itself. The kids will still learn it — whether they speak it back to us or not.

PPPS: We can only play the cards that are dealt to us. I would prefer to have a great mind like Einstein or a heart as big as St Francis of Assisi’s or a young strong body like the Bengal popcorn guys have ( But I don’t. So I make do with what I have and do the best I can within my limitations.

Which is why people like George W. Bush and Barak Obama totally piss me off — they have the brains, the looks, the money and the opportunities to freakin’ save the whole freakin’ WORLD! And what do they do instead? They kill people. They kill almost as many people as some of those terrible live killer bugs that we struggle so hard to get people vaccinated against. That’s just shameful.

PPPPS: I just found out that there is going to be a whole bio-conference on the subject of new types of vaccines: DNA Vaccines 2011. And it’s gonna be in San Diego this July!

According to the DNA vaccine conference’s website blurb (, “The 2011 theme, Building on Clinical Progress and Exploring New Targets, led by Program Chair David B. Weiner, Ph.D., University of Pennsylvania, combines a provocative cutting edge scientific program and new innovative research findings not covered at any other meeting. You’ll meet international presenters, have access to the exhibit and poster areas, and attend networking food and cocktail receptions all at Loews Coronado Bay in San Diego.”

They’re gonna have food and cocktail receptions? I wanna go!


Death Wish IX: The GOP Presidential Field

Subtitled, for you Latin scholars out there, with what should be the GOP motto in the 2012 primaries: ‘incredibilis vos socius pro nostrum equus fimus iterum’ **

The Death Wish Nine:

1. Tim Pawlenty
2. Mitt Romney
3. Newt Gingrich
4. Rick Santorum
5. Gary Johnson
6. Herman Cain
7. Michele Bachmann
8. Sarah Palin
9. Anybody Else?

(Yes, I’m leaving off gay Republican Fred Karger, former Obama ambassador Jon Huntsman, and that other guy for the sake of brevity.)

Not a Triumph of the (George F.) Will: Mitch Daniels and Tim Pawlenty. But it’s not to be as Daniels, Junior Bush’s former budget director, who turned a $236 billion surplus into a $400 billion deficit, and the financial genius who ‘privatized’ the Indiana Toll Roads for a lump sum payment of $3.6 billion in a 75-year lease that will pay $133 billion to the Australian/Spanish firm of Macquarie-Cintra, has decided not to play, taking his name out of contention. That’s a shame as laugh-lovers will be denied the spectacle of a Daniels/Pawlenty ticket in 2012, AKA the Ambiguously Gay Duo of GOP politics.

Speaking of Pawlenty, he just tossed his hat in the pig feces swamp May 23rd by boldly announcing in Iowa that he will end ethanol subsidies as president. Next he’ll tell the Republican voters of New Hampshire that he plans to take away their guns, and then head to Wisconsin to inform the handful of GOP voters left there of how much he hates cheese and the Green Bay Packers. Apparently Timbaugh, saddled with the same no-Tea-Party, moderate Blue-State GOP governor baggage as Mitt Romney, has decided to show his hairy-chested manliness by metaphorically slapping potential voters across the chops a few times. It’s an entertaining approach, at least, and he may get the nomination just by not being as space-cadet nuts as everyone else in the GOP race.

Speaking of Mitt Romney, he has the mounds of money, confident male underwear model leer, and party contacts to be the frontrunner, but he’s bent over backwards so many times to accommodate the crazy right he looks like Richard III in reverse. Mitt’s the likeable guy nobody in the GOP likes, and it seems his ‘fire in the belly’ has turned to acid reflux — which is why he’ll be quitting after he fails to come in first in the New Hampshire primary. The Money Men in the GOP have apparently decided his goods are too tainted by long exposure to sunlight, so they’re looking elsewhere, and many of the Christopublican rank-and-file aren’t enthused that he’s a Mormon.

Then there’s the popped 1990s bubble of Newt Gingrich, who hangs himself with his own tongue every time he opens his mouth. ‘Champaign Newt,’ who’s collected millions of bucks in his risible alter-egos of ‘Adulterous Defender of Family Values,’ ‘Professor of Fictitious History’ and ‘Knuckle-Dragging Conservative Intellectual,’ has diligently shoveled so much crap for so long that he’s incapable of giving a straight answer anymore. When asked about his respectable Republican-Cloth-Coat account at snooty Tiffany’s that amounted to $500,000 in charges, Newtie mumbled awkwardly and danced around a forthright answer, this following on the heels of his embarrassing, even for a Republican, 24-hour about-face on Paul Ryan’s mad plan to eviscerate Medicare. Although Newt apparently doesn’t think his personal hypocrisy matters, convenient for a man who has made a career of sanctimonious lip service to moral precepts he doesn’t actually practice, GOP primary voters may have a different opinion. He, too, will quit in the snows of New Hampshire and no doubt find a way to blame liberals for his rejection by his own party.

Rick Santorum is such a lugnut even some Christopublicans who fear mass bestiality breaking out in the streets should a gay couple marry can’t stand him. In a year when economic issues far outweigh the perverse moral concerns of mouth-breathers like St. Santorum, he’ll fade out in Iowa; broke, miserable and about as popular as Fred Phelps, the virulently anti-gay pastor of the far-from-Christian Westboro Baptist Church. Of course by 2013, Rough ‘n’ Ready Rick, out of politics, will divorce his wife and emerge from the closet, professing his enduring love for a German Shepherd/Dalmatian mix named Rollo.

Then there’s the former GOP governor of New Mexico Gary Johnson. No reason to tarry much on this entry; Johnson shows flashes of sanity and decency that will automatically invalidate him for the Republican nomination. He’s out in Iowa as well.

Godfather pizza-peddler Herman Cain, who I understand was a black man at one time, has enough grease-coated cash to stay in until South Carolina, and maybe beyond. In the same cynical GOP race-pandering that made Michael Steele head of the RNC, party bigwigs think they might have a chance in 2012 by putting Cain in the Veep slot with Pawlenty heading the ticket. Cain will appease the hard-right and nab a few stray African-American votes while Pawlenty desperately tries to convince general-election voters that he really doesn’t believe all the things he said he believed in during the primary campaign without looking like an outrageous liar and hypocrite. But, in the wake of the GOP debacle in the Rust Belt states and Paul Ryan’s ‘kick grandma from the train’ Medicare voucher plan, the chances of this working are about the same as Donald Trump keeping his hair in place during a high wind or speaking the truth in two consecutive sentences.

Meanwhile, Tea Party Queen Bee Michele Bachmann has yet to declare, but her avid desire to make Big Money should she lose her House seat next election will compel her to run, at least until the Republican Big Daddy, the moneyed elite that own the party, take the keys away. She’ll probably win Iowa, then be quickly forgotten after she utters yet another imbecilic interpretation of the Constitution or is caught in a low-cut slinky dress shooting craps in Las Vegas and drunkenly groping a man not her husband.


May 21, 2011

The GOP’s New Old Brew


May 19, 2011

Ye Olde Scribe Productions Presents: The Search for the Next bin Laden

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 9:06 pm

Now that America has gotten its Junior “protect my good buddy” lead out of its arse, and Obama put it in Osama’s head (As he died did he say, “Eye Yi Yi?”) the hunt continues for…

The Next bin Laden

Keep a look out for this dangerous terrorist. Below the fold you will find a picture from a wanted poster for this example of vile puddle scum: known characteristics and activities…


Is the GOP Serious?


May 18, 2011

Protesting the Federal Reserve: Yet another good reason to buy gold (and silver)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Jane Stillwater @ 12:37 am

The inspirational message from my Franklin Planner today was a quote from Frank Garbutt. “The man who questions opinion is wise; the man who quarrels with fact is a fool.” Right on!

And today I also went off to a local college commencement exercise which was very deeply moving and inspiring. One of the main speakers brought tears to my eyes as she talked about some of the things that her great-grandmother, an ex-slave, had taught her. “My great-grandmother was a midwife in her community and every few months when the circuit-riding doctor was due for a visit, she would hang a white towel in front of the homes where sick people were in need of the doctor’s attention. And I also have always tried to do this — to attempt to point out where help is needed.”

Well, obviously somebody needs to hang a white towel in front of the capitol building in Washington DC as well — because, right now, America needs all the help it can get!

A friend of mine who serves in Afghanistan recently came home on leave and he told me about the difference between corruption over in Afghanistan versus corruption here in America. “In Afghanistan everyone makes payments under the table — but here in America, if anyone wants do do something corrupt, they just pass a law to make it legal.” Oh yeah.

And I bet that you know what he’s talking about too — so-called “campaign contributions” from mega-corporations that coincidentally result in IRS loopholes and ERA pollution waivers in their favor; “legal” gifts from lobbyists to our congressional representatives; all-too-common stories about developers who have been granted eminent domain after greasing the skids just a bit, zoning laws that favor the upper classes; expensive parking tickets for not bribing your meter maid in a timely-enough fashion; massive bank bailouts; war-profiteer contracts for out-dated weapons we don’t need; gross subsidies to nuclear power plant owners because no one else in their right mind would insure these walking death-traps; prisons and schools run for profit at the expense of the community that pays for them; the Federal Reserve’s love affair with Big Banks at the expense of us little guys; our brave military sold down the river and forced to become corporatists’ hired guns — the list is endless. Yes, baksheesh is alive and well here in America. Ours is possibly the most corrupt country in the world.

Anyway, while I was driving to the commencement ceremony today, I passed a sign in somebody’s window that read, “Get rid of the Federal Reserve. Bring back the Greenback.” Believe it or not, that’s easy to do.

The old greenbacks were the paper dollars that had their value backed up by either gold bullion or silver certificates — not like this post-modern play-money crap that the Fed keeps telling us is real. But we don’t have to wait around for no stinking Fed to bring back the greenback. We can bring it back ourselves. All we gotta do is go out and buy our own gold and silver.

The Fed might not be backing up our dollars. But we can do it ourselves.

Not only that, but silver is now selling at almost $36 an ounce. Remember back when GOLD was just $36 an ounce? Gold is now $1,500 an ounce. So. Buy it. Use it. Love it! Screw the Fed.

PS: The commencement ceremony today was totally lovely. There were hundreds of hopeful graduates, their faces all lit up with pride and hope. And it broke my heart to even think about what their future will be like — with approximately a hundred thousand dollars worth of student loan payments hanging over each of their heads and no jobs in sight.

Maybe the graduation present that these wonderful and hopeful students need most is to have Washington give them a bailout on their loans. America’s students obviously need a bailout far more than Big Banks and Big Oil. Plus America definitely needs lots of smart and hopeful young college graduates — far more than we need another handful of greedy rich bankers and a few more slick oil-baron billionaires. That’s a fact!

But then, like it said in my Franklin Planner today, “The man who quarrels with fact is a fool.” And America certainly has more people in our government, our media and our financial institutions quarreling with fact than ever before.

PPS: Every day I try to meditate for nine minutes. For the first three of those minutes I cogitate on the Past — everything from early childhood triumphs and disasters to George W, Bush and Attila the Hun. Then for the next three minutes, I think about the Present — which is usually rather boring.

And for the last three minutes I try to imagine the Future. At first I just dreamed up easy stuff — like trying to win the lottery or that my car would actually make it to Camp Tuolumne over Memorial Day. But now I’m getting really good at imagining a bunch of even better versions of the Future: World peace, happy children, honest government, free university education and single-payer healthcare, an end to pollution, socialism for everyone and not just the rich, and everyone following the Golden Rule.

And I am also starting to wonder why all these things must be simply a figment of my imagination. Why can’t our future actually look like this? And, further, why aren’t we all raucously demanding a future like this instead of demanding the hellish nightmares currently being peddled to us by America’s oligarchs, Wall Street and Fox News?

Years ago I wrote a yet-unpublished book entitled, “Pictures of a Future World,” wherein, after centuries of self-abuse, the human race finally wises up and behaves itself. That’s the kind of Future I want!


May 17, 2011

Obituary for planet earth?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 1:28 pm

It was a dismal cold day in May and the clocks had just sounded 0800 hours. The view from the Victory Mansions nestled high in the hills above Berkeley provided a reinforcement of the previous evening’s weather guess with a tableau of pewter skies and soggy ground. Uncle Rushbo was scheduled to read out a list of figures which have something to do with the production of safe atomic energy.

Adhering to the journalistic tradition of writing a column about the end of the world a few days in advance of when the catastrophe was expected, by many devout conservative Christians, to occur seemed imperative to the World’s Laziest Journalist, but the cynical curmudgeonly columnist couldn’t provide himself with the logical motivation for undertaking (did you have to use that word?) of such an existentialist errand.

If the World really was going to end on Saturday, why bother to do the keystrokes necessary for an obituary for use on Sunday? Why bother?

Heck, if the United States can continue the War in Afghanistan for no discernable reason, why couldn’t the columnist bang out a few more snide remarks, bits of esoteric information, and political predictions that seemed to be a bit too liberal even by Berkeley’s standards? Why not? The alternative was to get the umbrella and go for a cold wet walk to the usual destinations.

Would the tree-huggers appreciate the humor if the world did end on Saturday? Such a catastrophe would mean that the human race became extinct in a photo finish with the end of the polar bear (Ursis Maritimus) species, which had been predicted extensively since long before the first “End of the World” billboard had been unveiled.

What about a bit of irony for the optimists who assume they’ll get docked if they are late for work next Monday morning? Because, we believe, there will still be “miles to go” on Monday Morning.

In the film “Point Break,” the surfer/bank robber, Bhodi (Patrick Swayze) advises the Establishment, in the form of FBI agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves), to “think it through.”

Have the banksters used the “think it through” method to assess the long term effects of the wave of home repossessions?

What will happen if the new masses of homeless Americans have a morphic resonance style collective epiphany moment and find that they have learned the Zen and the Art of Being “On the Road” lesson?

Isn’t literature rife with variations of a story about a traveling wise man who preaches to the people that they can be happy without a storage unit full of superfluous material possessions?

Wouldn’t it be dangerous for capitalists to face a mass movement of the Zen philosophy of renouncing extraneous material possessions? Isn’t America built on the concept that “Greed is good” and that if the Jones family next door has a flat screen TV (don’t they wear out more quickly? [“Mommy, is ‘planned obsolescence’ a Zen concept?”]) your family needs a bigger one?

Here is a hypothetical example: if you are traveling around Australia with a suitcase and you find some amusing tchotchke that would be a perfect gift for someone 12,000 miles away, should you buy it and lug it around with you for the rest of the trip or should you pay the postage and send it on its way? (Isn’t it ironic if the postage fee will be more than the cost of the book you want to send?)

If you are always on the move, you tend to only buy those things you know you need such as a very light battery powered alarm clock and a flashlight. (Kids will tell you that a cell phone is a flashlight.) Even a dedicated life long sloppy (and slovenly?) person will quickly learn the advantages of knowing precisely where things are in the suitcase, so that they can be located quickly in the dark without the need to empty the entire contents of the suitcase on the hostel bunk, just to find the elusive item. Suppose the item you need is the flashlight? If you dump the suitcase on the bed, you would need the flashlight to sort through the contents to find the flashlight. Hence even a slob will come to adopt the “a place for everything and everything in its place” philosophy while being “on the road.”

Wouldn’t it be very dangerous for the recovery, if massive numbers of people who have been made homeless via foreclosure suddenly learn and begin to preach the advantages of renouncing material possessions?

The German concept of Schadenfreude explains why TV interviews with people, who have just lost their home by tornado, flood, or foreclosure, attract large audiences, but what would happen if, instead of a crying victim, the interview produced an interviewee with the happy-go-lucky attitude who shrugs and says: “I learned I didn’t need it”?

The happy wanderer such as Chang Kai Kane, the guys on Route 66, the Fugitive, Sal Paradise (symbolism?), the Lone Ranger, Dr. Gonzo, etc. is amusing and entertaining but true patriotic Americans must never forget that such cultural rebels are the antitheses of American values and must not be permitted to weave their web of subtle philosophy heresy that repudiates American ideas and culture.

Back in the sixties there was a main stream media report (urban legend?) that some hippies used to stand in the middle of Highway 1 in the Big Sur area and extend both hands in the hitchhiker’s thumb a ride style and take the first ride they were offered.

That kind of ambivalent approach to life might have worked back then, but it doesn’t work. Sure, most folks in the Sixties could name several famous counter-culture personalities but sorry to say, the Sixties are over! Can you name one prominent counter-culture personality alive and thriving today?

Will the World really end this Saturday? The World’s Laziest Journalist has received reassurances from a reliable source, that the “fixeroo” is “in” and that it ain’t gonna happen.

Do not, whatever you do, do not tell your boss on Friday to do something that is physically impossible because you are going to need your job on Monday morning to be able to make those every growing monthly mortgage payments and perhaps, if your credit card isn’t maxed out, buy some new designer label threads to arouse some good old fashioned envy in your neighbor’s heart.

It’s just like St. Ronald Reagan used to say on the sign-off for a weekly TV show: “At GE, progress is our most important product.”

Now the disk jockey will play “This old house,” “Come On-A My,” and “Home on the Range.” We have to go buy a fondue maker and also give a shout out to the folks who will be having the Saturday evening barbecue on the roof of the Sydney Backpackers’ Hostel just about the time that the world is supposed to end. If it does happen, mates, you’ll have a marvelous view of the spectacle. Have a “Chill out, dude!” type week.

Afterward: Personal message for MM and KM in the area that hosted Sherman’s famous 1865 “March to the Sea” Tour: You should work out a quid pro quo agreement with “Blue.” See if you can get an offer to use his home as a short term crash pad so that you might learn the “No worries, mate” attitude (you will love Australia; it’s like America without war crimes) and, in return, let him have a night (or week?) serving as your vacation substitute host. Ask Blue if Harold Holt was “Osama-ed” for his opposition to the Vietnam War.

May 16, 2011

“Forgive us our press passes . . .”

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 3:52 pm

Over the weekend, CBS radio news ran an item about the fact that President Obama had declared that the operations against Libya were “open ended.” The liberal mainstream media, which were so very sarcastic and critical when George W. Bush was in charge of the Endless War on Terrorism, seemed content to let the change in status of the Libya aspect of the war slide past without comment.

On Friday the 13th, Associated Press reported that the Medicare and Social Security programs were in peril economically. On his radio program that same night, Mike Malloy reported that he had read a report that stated that the Social Security program was solvent and had a cash surplus. Malloy seems to think that news should be based on facts and not consensus opinion dictated by the media owners and publishers.

On that same day, the University of California at Berkeley held a commencement for this year’s graduating class at the Law School, and a demonstration by folks who oppose America’s use of torture to gain information crucial for self defense held a protest at the entrance to the event. They based their objections on moral and humanitarian reasons while conveniently ignoring the fact that “the Great White Holy Father” in the Vatican, gave his imprimatur to torture about five hundred years ago. Apparently the anti-torture folks consider themselves to be better theologians than five centuries of Popes and the College of Cardinals have been.

Ironically, the Great White Father in Washington D.C. had gotten his legal advice about the permissibility of torture from a fellow who is on the faculty of the very school that held Friday’s graduation ceremony. Apparently the anti-torture folks are better legal scholars than President George W. Bush’s team of advisors on such matters.

Everyone who becomes embroiled in the debate over America’s use of torture conveniently forgets that previously in World History, Germany faced the same question and the Great White Father in Berlin reached the same legal conclusions that the Bush team would more than a half a century later. Apparently the anti-torture folks didn’t get good grades in World History class.

House speaker John Boehner was criticized recently by about five dozen professors at various Catholic colleges for a lack of Christ-like compassion for the poor. How would those teachers like it if, instead of immunity via the tenure tradition, they had to be reelected to the faculty by student and alumni voters? How about granting a tenure status to Congressional representatives who have served five terms, so that they would subsequently be immune from the riggers of continual reelection campaigns starting with their sixth term in office?

Speaking of world history and infallibility for theologians, that brings up the fact that Oakland based theologian Harold Camping has stated that the world will end next weekend.

The World’s Laziest Journalist, who is an ordained minister, has to frequently interrupt his efforts to say the prayers which will deliver a stay of execution for the doomed world, to conduct a debate with Ilsa she-wolf of the WLJ Accounting Department, about existentialist philosophy. She contends that allegations that the world will end next weekend are insufficient grounds for a weeklong profligate binge of expensive, self indulgence to go into eternity with flourish. The columnist thinks that a moderate bit of budget-busting extravagance might be permitted before the weekend rendezvous with destiny. Ilsa says that is an example of selfish thinking rationalization.

One project will be postponed until after next weekend. If the world doesn’t end, we will attempt to contact Jonathan Kay, author of the just published “Among the Truthers: A Journey Through America’s Growing Conspiracist Underground,” to give him a chance to give us a quote on the possibility that there is a secret government plot to foil plans to establish a Conspiracy Theory Hall of Fame (in Las Vegas?).

Speaking of quotes from an expert source, have you noticed that while almost everyone has been asked to comment on the shooting of Osama bin Laden, no well known journalist, had a quote on the death from either Mick Jagger or Keith Richards? Do you think that there is more to this “inadvertent” omission than meets the eye?

The news that one of the atomic reactors in Japan has gone into the dreaded “meltdown” level of malfunctioning hasn’t been widely disseminated. In the United States, the amount of tornado and flood damage this spring has been statistically much higher than normal. Was all this predicted in the Book of Revelations?

This columnist tries to sporadically produce copy that contains short items that are amusing, informative, and entertaining in the three dot journalism method from the past that should be suited to the “give it a quick skim reading” style that the modern Internet audience tends to use. We intentionally inject obscure, arcane, and esoteric cultural references in the hopes that such a style will attract an enduring number of regular readers and that such a base will provide a rational for management to excuse occasional attempts by the columnist to get “edgy.” Whatever happened to the idea that “edgy” would become a major ingredient for content on the Internets? Is it obsolete and has pandering to the lowest common denominator (celebrity gossip) become the standard of excellence?

This columnist, this week, may spend a few bucks for a few “why not?” treats and may devote some time to offering Rev. Dan of the Music for Nimrods program on KXLU in Los Angeles, some suggestions for this week’s playlist. Rev. Dan often uses a unifying theme for his show, so he may need some clever suggestions for appropriate music on the installment scheduled to coincide with “The End of the World.” If playing Elvis’ song, “Old Shep,” will emotionally upset the listeners, who cares if the World is about to end?

We will also try to have a few bucks in our wallet so that on Sunday morning, we can buy a “hot off the press” copy of the Sunday New York Times to read while we have a cup of coffee. Maybe we’ll find a topic that inspires us to write and post a new column.

If the world does end this coming Saturday, what will happen to the frequent flyer miles we accumulated on Pan Am?

The World’s Laziest Journalist fully expects that his dire warnings that “they” will use the electronic voting machines to rig yet another Presidential election in favor of the Republican candidate (JEB is my best guess) and that when that comes to pass we will be totally baffled by the fact that an accurate prediction on our part will receive no notice in the mainstream media, while a ridiculous “the World will end this Saturday” prediction became a part of the American culture in May of the year 2011.

The most relevant ending quote for a column on the topic of the End of the World might be a bit of folk wisdom (graffiti?) left over from the Sixties: “The World can’t end today, because it’s already tomorrow in China.”

Now the disk jockey will trifle with our tendency to be typical Irish and get sentimental when certain songs are played and play:
“As time goes by”
“Ghost riders in the sky”
“Great balls of fire”
“Rebel Rouser”
“Get off my cloud”
“Running Scared”
“Age of Aquarius”
“A boy named Sue”
“Le vie en rose”
And Judy Collins’ version of “Amazing Grace.” (Is it true that her version of that song can bring even a Vulcan to the verge of tears?)

The disk jockey will close out with his own selection of Jimmy Darren’s “Goodbye Cruel World.”

We have to go get a speck of dust out of our eye.

Have a “tune in again next week” type week.

May 15, 2011

Election 2012: The GOP’s Undeclared Nut-Cracker Suite of Candidates


May 13, 2011

UCB Law School Graduation

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 3:13 pm


On Friday May 13, 2011, people who oppose torture expressed their point of view at the entryway for the University of California at Berkeley’s Law School commencement ceremonies because John Yoo is a member of that institution’s faculty.

Election 2012: The GOP’s Declared Nut-Cracker Suite of Candidates


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