November 30, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Post-It Notes From the Underground Edition

Riff, Raff and Other Chaff

“For your information, I would like to ask a question.”
– Samuel Goldwyn

Worried about Obama’s experience as a leader? He just ran an organization for two years that had outlets in all fifty states, took in over $600 million dollars, and successfully completed its goal, against long odds. Compare his performance to the overpaid touts on Wall Street and the dunderheads of the Big Three US auto corporations, begging for bailouts.

Latest Hot Under-the-Door Rumor: Word is, Al Gore is topping Obama’s list of nominees for the next Supreme Court vacancy. This means Big Al could be there every day, within spitting distance of three of the five justices who denied him the presidency in 2000. (Does the irony never stop?) Also supposedly on the short list: University of Chicago Professor Cass Sunstein, US District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor, Georgia SC Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears, fired Bush prosecutor David Iglesias, and Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald.

Speaking of the ‘high’ court, 88-year-old Justice John Paul Stevens is alleged to be aching to retire, as is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 75, who is in poor health. Antonin Scalia is getting up there at 72, and has no intention of quitting, but his health is said to be questionable. Anthony Kennedy is also 72, but in better shape than Scalia. Obama could name as many as four new SC justices during his term.

MSNBC’s loudmouthed sometime-neocon ‘Morning’ Joe Scarborough has been consistently offending his colleagues, his viewers and his bosses. Plus his ratings are soaking in bilgewater. The ‘Countdown’ is on – how long until NBC management buys out Joe’s contract and packs him on his way? (Stephanie Miller and other able portside replacements wait in the wings.)

Speaking of MSNBC, looks like Chris ‘Tweety Bird’ Matthews is going to bring his Hardballs to Pennsylvania, challenging ancient GOP vampire Arlen ‘Single Silver Bullet’ Specter for his Senate seat in 2010. Although Matthews publicly denies he’s a candidate, it’s said he’s been in close contact in with some of Obama’s team about making the run. I can see the bumper stickers now, “Screamer for Senate 2010.” (Perhaps Chris divined that his career as a TV talker is coming to a close.) So, when is Pat Buchanan tossing his spiked helmet in the ring to become Lord High Chancellor of Germantown, and when will Tucker Carlson be running for Dog Catcher – excuse me, Chief Executive Canine Control Consultant — of Park Avenue?

Don’t waste your time on D.L. Hughley’s Saturday show on CNN, “D.L. Hughley Breaks the News.” The man’s a stand-up comic and good in his element, but this ain’t it. Hughley does his best, but he’s trying to coax laughs and knowing nods out of an audience of what appears to be mostly white undertakers who’ve huffed too much formaldehyde. (I think they pine for the cozy family jokes of Cosby’s Dr. Huxtable.) Well, it’s CNN, after all, where Lou Dobbs is just short of donning Napoleon’s bicorn hat and proclaiming himself Emperor of El Norte; Prince of Mars Dan Senor’s wife Campbell Brown has a job; Larry King calls the likes of Suze ‘Invest in Your 401K!’ Orman a ‘financial expert,’ and they have the odd notion that Sanjay Gupta is a real doctor rather than a Bollywood wannabe. (Say, CNN, Dennis the Miller’s looking for TV work…)


November 28, 2008

The Blame Game

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 4:50 am

Black people also caused the credit crises.

November 27, 2008

American Cultural Imperialism

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bob Patterson @ 7:40 pm

(Fremantle W. A.) November 28, 2008 Stella, from Great Britain, was disconcerted (and a bit intimidated) when she arrived in Australia and folks took to shouting (or pretending to yell) her name. Someone finally explained to her that they were imitating Marlon Brando in the movie “Streetcar Named Desire.”The anecdote points out an unusual paradox that might surprise many Americans: American cultural references are much more prevalent (and understood) by Australians than by Brits.

The concept of “American Cultural Imperialism” was first discovered by this columnist in an exchange of e-mails with an Australian writer, a few years back.

After becoming familiar with the concept, the idea seemed plausible. A visit to Australia is much more convincing. At times Australia today seems like a journey back to California about 40 years ago.

The fact that Australia is (culturally speaking) much more of a “farm club” for American entertainment endeavors than Great Britain has a double significance. People who think that Hollywood stars are world famous, have a nasty shock awaiting them when a Brit asks “Who is Paul Newman?” and the people who ignore the America-Australia connection are snubbing one of the U. S.’s greatest potential markets.

A lawyer in Western Australia told this columnist that it is becoming more and more difficult for him to distinguish between visits to the USA and travels in his home state in Australia because more and more business franchises in this Australian state are familiar names for all American visitors. Parts of the Perth area seem more like New Jersey than cities in a part of the world with Indian Ocean beaches.

If this columnist’s perception is accurate, it means that Hollyweird (American slang for Hollywood) has two challenges: they have to work harder to convince people in Great Britain that “Streetcar Named Desire” was an “all time great”movie and, at the same time, that they are not purposely ignoring the large growing market for American goods and entertainment in this country south of the equator.

It seems logical to this American columnist to assume that Hollywood would have a much greater impact on Great Britain than Australia. Stella’s plight proves that the exact opposite is true. Many more Australians seem to be able to make the Stella-Marlin Brando connection than the folks from London can. Does this mean that Londoners are not as “hip” as Americans assume or does it mean that Australians are a much more likely to understand American cultural references? Wouldn’t you think that the Australians would be much more likely to have interchangeable cultural references with the Brits?

TV in Australia is chock full of local programs and American reruns. How did the Americans shut the Brits out of this built-in-in market for entertainment?

Australians who have some resentment concerning Hollywood’s attitude toward talented Australian film makers seem to assume that it is precisely because they are Australian that they are being shunned. A possible explanation (we don’t have the time or the fact checking facilities of the Santa Monica Public Library at our disposal ) might be that Hollywood resents talented outsiders, even those who are American, and make it difficult for outsiders to break into the “In Crowd.”

During President Bush’s lame duck period, additional criticism of the Texan seems too late to matter, and harsh assessments of President Obama would be unfairly premature, so this columnist’s response will be to devote attention to pop culture topics and hope that this web site’s management will let some extraneous topics slide until more relevant political commentary becomes appropriate.  (We will try to get the spacing done correctly as we learn to do these interim posts.)

Should American web sites send a corresponded to Australia just to get a better perspective for reviews of “Australia”?

Another famous line from “Streetcar Named Desire” was: “Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”

Now, the disk jockey will play Stella Soleil’s song “Kiss Kiss” and we will bid you adieu. Have a “what are you rebelling against?” type week.

The Tattlesnake – What We Have to Be Thankful For Edition

Aside from our personal and family connections, America has much to be thankful for on this fourth Thursday in November:

1. The Bush Boy will soon be gone. Regardless of all of the dismal forecasts of martial law and suspended elections (and accepting that he still has 54 days left for this kind of mischief), the Reign of Error is nearly over and, as a parting gift, Our Worst President Ever has ruined the neocon movement as a political force; proven Milton Friedman’s untrammeled free trade and Arthur Laffer’s supply-side ‘Trickle Down’ economic theories a bitter joke by implementation; soured the majority of America on the right-wing agenda; lessened the political influence of the Christopublicans; eliminated the chance of any future spawn of the Bush family holding national office for a generation, and nearly destroyed the Republican Party to boot.

2. President Barack Obama – if he does nothing else, just by dint of his election he has changed the way the world sees us, and the way we see ourselves. And it will be refreshing to have a president that we can be proud of for a change, and one who can even complete a full sentence in grammatical English.

3. Big Media influence is waning as ‘Citizen Journalists’ on the Inner Tubes present opinions not found in the corporately-owned mass media. Americans now read more of the foreign press online than ever before, meaning we are gradually becoming less parochial and xenophobic in our knowledge of the world.

4. The GOP might actually nominate Sarah Palin as its presidential nominee in 2012, thereby guaranteeing its decline into a regional, mostly southern, party sure to lose national elections for generations to come. Even short of that, the GOP will be wandering in the wilderness – they have to either go left, and lose part of their base, or stay to the same course and swallow defeat.

5. Karl Rove and his minions are finished as a force in politics, and Rove himself is likely to face indictments up the ying-yang after January 20th. He may be frog-marched in handcuffs yet.

6. Word is, hundreds of federal employees, silenced by fear or fiat during the reign of BushCo, will be blowing the whistle following Obama’s inauguration. Can investigations, indictments and convictions be far behind?

7. Science and the rule of law will be respected once again by our government, and decisions will be made by a president who uses his brain for the job rather than his gut.

This was just a quick list; add your own reasons to be thankful, and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

November 26, 2008

Ye Olde Scribe Presents: His Thanksgiving Culinary Secret

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 6:31 pm

   Still wondering how to best give your family and relatives the bird? Yes!  It REALLY IS TRUE. YOS, the family chef, tried a variation on this a few years back and… YUM! …it works well. Like Junior “worked…” for eight, long, hideous, nightmarish years.  So grab ahold of your personal giblets… WOAH! Not THAT hard, Bucko! OK, now that you’ve stopped moaning in pain; or pleasure: depending on how kinky you are, be prepared for a tasty treat of the likes you’ve never, ever had since Momsie cooked pig’s liver in 50 weight; 100,000 mile worth of over used Pennzoil.

A Recipe for Dirty Diaper Turkey


November 25, 2008


Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 12:53 pm


Role Reversal

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 12:52 pm

And then decapitate the rest of your administration.


Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 12:52 pm

Exit, stage left

E.T. found Jesus

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 12:52 pm


Great Expectations

Filed under: Uncategorized — Peregrin @ 12:52 pm


What Would Jesus Buy?

Filed under: Uncategorized — alex @ 12:51 pm

Just in time for Black Friday, “What Would Jesus Buy?” is a documentary film about Reverend Billy and Church of Stop Shopping’s battle against commercial Christmas and the coming shopocalypse. WWJB was produced by Morgan Spurlock, the film-maker responsible for “Supersize Me” and “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?”

Click here to watch What Would Jesus Buy?

The Tattlesnake — You Might Be a Neocon If… 2008 Update Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:04 am

With a hat tip to Jeff Foxworthy, it’s time to play:

You Might Be a Neocon If…

… you believe any of the following: Barack Obama is (a) a socialist; (b) a Muslim; (c) the illegitimate son of Malcolm X; (d) the illegitimate son of Uncle Ben.

… you think Obama was a domestic terrorist who helped Bill Ayers plant bombs in the Pentagon; that he doesn’t have a legal birth certificate proving he’s an American citizen; and that his middle name indicates anything more than sheer coincidence.

… You believe President Obama’s first act will be to make the ‘nation’ of Africa our 51st state and send every resident a free Cadillac.

… you heard Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961 and don’t think it was a state then, thereby making it illegal for him to be president, but are too lazy to look it up before you forward the email.

… you believe Sarah Palin is really intelligent and informed and that the reason most of America thinks otherwise is due to the liberal media and their evil ‘gotcha’ questions.

… you think an unwed teenage girl’s pregnancy is a sign of the moral failings of permissive secular parents and liberalism in general, except for 17-year-old Bristol Palin.

… you believe Sarah Palin is (a) a real feminist; (b) a true populist; (c) a ‘good ole gal just like me!’; (d) winking at you seductively through the TV.

… you think it was fine for the Big Media to criticize every detail of Hillary Clinton’s campaign and excoriate her for her laugh, her clothes, her personal taste, or minor mistakes, yet Katie Couric asking Sarah Palin to name what newspapers and magazines she reads ‘every day’ is an outrageous and out of bounds ‘gotcha’ question.

… you thought John Kerry’s record of military heroism didn’t entitle him to be president, but John McCain’s did.

… you believe that, despite everything, this remains a ‘center-right’ nation.

… you think any of the following windbags are still politically relevant: (a) Rush Limbaugh; (b) Bill O’Reilly; (c) Sean Hannity; (d) Michael Savage; (e) Glenn Beck; (f) John McCain’s brother Joe.

… you actually believe that Big Media corporations are owned by flaming liberals, except Fox News.

… you think Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch is ‘too liberal’ because he once held a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton and employs Alan Colmes.

… you believe any of the following are real-live conservative intellectuals: (a) Bill Kristol; (b) Pat Buchanan; (c) Dinesh D’Souza; (d) Joe the Plumber.

… you think prayer in school is more important than a good education in school.

… you believe that courts should not ‘make law’ but go by a strict interpretation of the Constitution, except in the case of Bush v. Gore, Terry Schiavo, and keeping those designated as ‘terrorists’ by the president in prison without due process.

… you think Swift Boater Jerome Corsi is a great investigative journalist.

… you think Michael Moore is a communist dedicated to overthrowing the country’s health care system and forcing you to go to a government doctor for free.

… you’ve never read anything by Karl Marx other than a quote or two, yet consider yourself an expert on what is Marxist.

… you believe liberals and/or Democrats are all (a) atheists (b) liars (c) commies (d) America-haters (e) arugula eaters (f) always sitting around trying to think up ways to take away your guns.

… you think anyone who disagrees with you is unpatriotic, even if it’s an old woman in a wheelchair yelling at you for parking in the Handicapped space.

… you think Handicapped parking spaces are liberal commie plots to take away our freedoms.

… you believe wearing a flag pin is more important than living up to the Constitutional law of the land.


The Reason

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 6:15 am

Mah eval plans is working!

November 24, 2008

League Approved Reading Lists

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: — Obi Zen Folksinger @ 9:00 pm

Americans don’t read. Ask anyone. Educators and sociologists will tell you that Americans don’t read. We watch TV, we play video games; if we read anything it’s more likely to be someone’s opinion than documented facts. Who needs books when you have the Internet? Who needs to form an opinion when there is a smorgasbord of opinions to choose from online? Pick one that feels good and download the talking points to FWD to all your friends. It’s almost like having a conversation. When you all buy the same brand you can all sign up for the email alerts and always seem like you all know what is going on. It’s nice to hang out with people who think you’re smart.

   Or not.


Lame and Getting There

Filed under: Uncategorized — Peregrin @ 5:04 am



November 23, 2008

The Tattlesnake – The Senate’s Teddy Bear Picnic and Other Maddening Madness Edition

“I don’t have a rearview mirror. I look only forward. And I still see the day when I can remove the cloud that currently surrounds me.”
– Disgraced and defeated Sen. Ted Stevens (R-VECO), on the Senate floor, Nov. 20, 2008. (Perhaps he can bribe it to go away.)

Even in politics, a business known for honking weirdoes and depraved lowlifes, outgoing Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens is Weird with a strut and horns and as crooked as a pig’s tail. Yet there were his Senate colleagues standing and applauding the convicted-on-seven-counts-of-corruption felon last Thursday, proving, I guess, that there is some honor among thieves — or, at least, praise. No wonder the Senate Ethics Office is a toothless farce – what do you have to do to engender the disrespect of these ‘public servants’? (Oh, right, tell the truth.) Utah’s ‘Mr. Republican’ Orrin Hatch, another blazing nutball with a hard nougat center of Petrified Kook, publicly ejaculated without shame that Ted was “one of the greatest men I ever met,” while his colleague from the Planet Strange, Sen. Jim Bunning, GOP marital aid of the KY-Jelly state, spread it on less grammatically: “If only you knew the Ted Stevens like I knew.” Democrat-turned-Wolfman Norm Coleman, verging on a well-deserved term limitation up in Minnesota, bayed to Ted’s moon-that-don’t-shine, “Those of us who know him also see the love that’s in his heart, reflected in love of country, love of family…” unnatural love of sheep. Even I-da-ho Spud Stud Larry Craig felt moved to knock three times on Stevens’ pipe with his own spit polish, so to speak.

Jebas, what if Uncle Ted had shot a man in Memphis just to watch him die? Would the Senate just rise as one to elect him King – or maybe Pope?

It’s too bad that AG Michael Mukasey collapsed suddenly during a speech Thursday night, but what the Big Media didn’t remark on was who Mukasey was speechifying to – the frickin’ Federalist Society, home base for the Unitary Executive malarkey that the departing Little King has used to justify dodging the Constitution. Sure, BushCo is on its way out the door, but you might think that the BM would be a little discomfited at the idea that the Attorney General, dressed up in a tux, was addressing a meeting of a group that basically believes in an American monarchy, much like democracy-distrusting icon Alexander Hamilton, who once encouraged George Washington to declare himself King of the United States. [Take a gander at FedSoc’s founders and current members: Ed ‘The Grand Inquisitor’ Meese, Robert ‘Nixonite’ Bork, Ted ‘Florida Recount’ Olson, John ‘Bob’s Dad’ Roberts, Tony ‘Bush v. Gore’ Scalia and Sam ‘The Sham’ Alito.) For a rough political equivalent, imagine the hew and cry if Obama’s new AG Eric Holder passed out while speaking to the Socialist Worker’s Party — think the venue would go unnoticed by the still-unjailed Press Gang at Newsweek and Time?

She Stoops to (be) Flounder: Remember those stories about a young Danny Quayle seeing the Robert Redford film, “The Candidate” and thinking it was a primer for a career in politics? Now it seems the Alaska Hockey Momster has aimed even lower; she’s apparently using Tim Robbins’ satirical flick, “Bob Roberts” as a roadmap for political success. For more cinematic inspiration to further Sarah’s future in government service, may ‘oui’ suggest “Amazon Women on the Moon,” “Idiocracy,” “The Aristocrats,” “Weird Science,” “Ernest Goes to Jail,” and “Linda Lovelace for President”?

And finally, the Vatican has forgiven John Lennon – imagine that? (Hint: it has to do with something he said in 1966.) I wonder if they’ve caught up with the news that he was murdered in 1980? (Lennon’s lucky; it took the Pope about 400 years to forgive Galileo for finding out the earth is round and circles the sun.)

(Quotes re Stevens from “We Salute You, Ted Stevens!” by Benjamin Sarlin, The Daily Beast, Nov. 20, 2008.)

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