June 28, 2016

Frozen: My trip to Orlando, Florida

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 10:12 am

When you fly into Orlando and your plane is coming down out of the clouds, the very first thing that you see is total greenness — and lots and lots and lots of lakes. There are lakes everywhere in Orlando, even mini-lakes right in the middle of downtown.

After arriving at the airport, the first question I asked at the information counter was, “How do you get to the Pulse nightclub?”

“You take an Uber.” Can’t do that. Gotta have an iPhone to call an Uber and all I have is a bedazzled go-phone. “Well, then you pay $60 for a cab.” Can’t do that either. “Then you’d better take the # 38 bus.” Done. And it only took me two hours to travel ten miles. But it was worth it. Totally. You have to actually be there for the immensity of this tragedy to really sink in.

The police had just opened up the crime-scene street the day before and already there were hundreds of balloons and bouquets of flowers on the site. So sad. Such a waste. I’m not even going to go out on a limb here and mention my conspiracy theory that the increase in homosexuality in America, like the increase in autism, is chemically-based, happens to us when we are babies and that somehow Big Pharma is involved. Because this horrendous crime isn’t about homosexuality. It is about hate.

I’m just going to say that hate and haters have no business spewing vitriol all over the shirts, pillowcases, skinny jeans and towels of America. Haters need to take their dirty laundry someplace else.

I wish that the Pulse nightclub massacre had never happened. And that no other such useless, unproductive and scary massacre in America will ever happen again.

Then I went off to Walt Disney World. Disney has four kingdoms in Orlando. Which one to choose? I wanna go to Small World again! I’m an idealist. That’s the kind of world that I want to live in, not the real world — where we have two forms of fascism to choose from in November, each one worse than the other. Clinton or Trump? Has America really been forced to come to this?

Anyway, I decided to go to Epcot because I’d never been there before. And it’s a good thing that I did — because otherwise I’d never have gotten a chance to meet Elsa, the Snow Queen!

But, unlike Elsa, America has now become frozen with hate. But there is hope. Elsa was able to change. Perhaps America can too. But we all have to work at it. It’s so much easier to kill than to be nice.

PhotoPass_Visiting_EPCOT_386423808931 - Copy (2)

June 19, 2016

Omar Mateen & the US State Dept: Two peas in a pod?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 4:16 pm

Here we go again. The American military-industrial complex is once again dropping really broad hints that stepping up its illegal “war” on Syria would be really really nice. They are hoping that it might be a lot nicer than their recent illegal “wars” on Libya, Iraq, Ukraine and Afghanistan — but don’t hold your breath.

In a charmingly blood-thirsty article in the New York Times entitled, “51 U.S. Diplomats Urge Strikes Against Assad in Syria,” we are told that almost the entire U.S. State Department is rooting and hoping and praying for a chance to bomb the Hell out of Damascus.

That idea sounds just about as stupid as the one that Omar Mateen recently had. Apparently someone at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando truly pissed Mateen off. Mateen went out and bought a bunch of guns. Mateen blasted the Hell out of that nightclub in Orlando. Mateen killed a whole bunch of innocent people. Problem solved.

And apparently someone in downtown Damascus has truly pissed off 51 State Department “diplomats” too. 51 State Department “diplomats” are now planning to go out and buy a bunch of guns. 51 State Department “diplomats” plan to blast the Hell out of President Assad’s government. 51 State Department “diplomats” plan to kill a whole bunch of innocent people. Problem solved.

But guess what? Killing innocent people never solves anything. Duh. Plus what if the come back as zombies? Or even brain-dead “diplomats”.


June 18, 2016


Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 11:59 pm


It has occurred to me that there is an important story being ignored by all except the World’s Laziest Journalist.

This story involves an historic first that would be a shame to deny the future historians and present readers of political pundits.

Perhaps it has to do with fear of writing something that will only be interesting if someone else writes about it or the blessing of recognized news reporting does the first exposure of a marginalized subject.

It probably has to do with the contrary opinions about transgender olympics, bathrooms and denial of children to change their sex based upon media depictions of appearances and stereotypes rather than considering biological realities and the pursuit of Happiness.

Happiness can’t be based on truth so it must be based in shocking lies that can never be undone.

Who cares anyway if a castrate wants to revert to original identity or whether a prepubescent wants to dress up without knowing what sex is (or why they want to dress up) or what love is?

Why even write about truth and lies as morality has nothing to do with reality. Reality is what you make up on the fly.

Denial is much easier to defend than reason or touchy feelings. Touchy feelings are easier to adopt and accuse others of hate for not going along with a different opinion or viewpoint.  Besides, it is messy to write about genital mutilation in the name of dysphoric stereotypical and often hysterical gender roles.

The historical first is simply the truth from an old transsexual who accepts what people think they are rather than again pretend to be magically restored to where they were before barbaric sex reassignment surgery.  It surely isn’t transgenderism which rarely goes to sexual mutilation and obsessive interest in fake genitals.

No, the real historical first is that an individual can live with the dual truth with courage and be the first to qualify for the honorable office of Senator of the United States.

If this playful pundit is wrong then prove me wrong. If this pundit is right then journalists have a duty to report on what  the first transsexual has done in qualifying as  candidate for US Senate, making it on the ballot in Hawai’i for the November 8, 2016 election.

This achievement is only of interest to the johnny-come-latelies who will wait until the pioneer wins to write a single line of history.

No sense reporting on history until after the results as it might encourage other marginalized people to engage in democracy.

Perhaps that is what is really unacceptable.

A First for the USA?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 2:33 pm

crop of newspaper reader


When The Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory intern announced plans to travel to Hawai’i in an effort to become the first transsexual to secure a nomination to be a candidate for US Senate, we wished Karla tons of good luck confident that her position in the history of politics was guaranteed because of the competitive nature of journalism today.

After receiving some enthusiastic and upbeat updates, we pondered the situation.  The World’s Laziest Journalist has always held a strong drive to have a cartoon, poem or story published in The New Yorker magazine.

Since the main stream media seems to be stonewalling the historic aspect of the Gottschalk for US Senate campaign, (check out their Facebook page of the same name), we realize we may have the opportunity to pitch The New Yorker for a chance to do a profile of the first senate candidate who is a transsexual.

We will dash a query letter ASAP. Meanwhile, we have to focus on some mundane chores, such as polishing  a new Conspiracy Theory that postulates the idea that D.B. Cooper was a rogue CIA agent who raised untraceable money in order to subsidize the Watergate caper.

(Note: Thomas Eagleton’s medical records, which the burglars took or stole or obtained, threw the McGovern campaign off balance from the beginning and they never regained their momentum and, thus produced for Nixon the most lop-sided presidential victory in American History.)

If Hillary picks Senator Warren as a running mate, will conservative pundits label it as a “Laverne and Shirley” episode?

Will a dead-locked Republican Convention beg Jeb to accept the nomination and break the logjam?

Will young republicans be as adverse to a Trump nomination as young democrats were opposed to Humphrey in Chicago back in 1968?

Does the Senate have separate restrooms for men and/or women?  Or, are they exempt from Obama’s executive orders?

… to be continued

June 17, 2016

If you’re going to Orlando, wear purple flowers in your hair…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 4:13 pm

How convenient for America’s deep state that Muslims and gays have become such targets of hate. “Better them than us!” Logically, Americans should all be totally hatin’ on the new surveillance state and the new billionaire state and the new police state that America has degenerated into — but Americans have been conditioned to hate Muslims and gays and women instead. How convenient.

On June 22, I leave for Orlando, Florida in order to attend the American Library Association’s annual convention. To paraphrase that old 1960s song, I will be wearing purple flowers in my hair. And a hijab too! Plus I’m already a woman.

But I’m sure that I’ll still be perfectly safe in Orlando. Why? Because the media and the cops and the FBI won’t be after me because I won’t be fitting their profile for what a mass shooter would be like.

Unlike Lee Harvey Oswald, Omar Mateen, Mohamed Atta, etc. I don’t have a history of working for the military, the CIA or any other top security agency or defense contractor. Nor have I been highly-trained by professionals in the fine art of effectively firing deadly weapons. I leave that to Blackwater and the Marines.

Unlike that guy who killed John Lennon, I don’t have friends in high places.

Unlike September 11, 2001, Boston or Sandy Hook, I haven’t announced any military drills or fake “exercises” to take place while I’m in Orlando.

Unlike the Columbine, Sandy Hook, Red Lake, Virginia Tech, Charleston, Aurora, Navy Yard, etc. shooters, I won’t be taking any prescription-drug anti-depressants approved by the FDA.

Unlike witnesses’ descriptions of multiple shooters involved in the San Bernardino, JFK, MLK, RFK and Paris shootings, I’ll be traveling alone.

Unlike the American deep state and Israeli neo-colonialists, I won’t have a strong motive and won’t benefit from either a terrorist attack or any other type of act that deliberately stirs up hatred. I’m really a pretty peaceful person, really.

So I think I’ll be safe in Orlando next week. Especially if I wear some purple flowers in my hair.

PS: With regard to the Orlando fatal massacre, Clinton has just vowed to keep “war” off the streets of America — hopefully not in the same manner that she has kept “war” off the streets of Libya, Palestine, Ukraine, Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan, Iraq, Haiti, Kosovo, etc.


June 12, 2016

Whack-a-Mole: Old school politicians vs. the new voter revolt

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 8:45 pm

First we Americans got stuck with McCarthyism, wherein out-of-line voters had their lives completely destroyed if they even thought about speaking up. American voters were shamelessly intimidated. The RepubliDems were large and in charge.

Then came Chicago back in 1968 — when rioting police basically beat all out-of-line voters to a pulp.

However, the RepubliDem old-school political machine did learn to become a bit more subtle after that — but not by much. Ronald Reagan, their next fair-haired boy, was called the “Teflon” president because no matter what kind of crap he pulled, he always got away with it. Why? Because Wall Street and War Street and the mainstream media always had his back. And their propaganda machine, instead of the cops, now beat out-of-line voters to a pulp. And that seemed to work even better.

Reagan would do stuff that looked and smelled like dog dookie, but a fawning press would rush to assure us voters that the crap we were being forced to swallow was actually candy and cake. And even to this day, Americans are convinced that Reagan is a god — not the devil incarnate that he actually was.

And most Americans wanted Gore or even Nader for president in 2000. But we got Bush-Cheney shoved down our throats instead. Of course there were a few whimpers here and there back then (I myself whimpered a lot) but the Republican high command told us that this new line of bull-crap was all for our own good. And the Democratic high command bobbled their heads in agreement.

And then the MSM told us that 9-11 and the “war” on Afghanistan and the “war” on Iraq weren’t Bush’s fault. And of course, most Americans still believed the MSM.

Then along came Obama, ready to play ball. “No more war,” he told us, fingers crossed behind his back. And we believed him too — because, in America, words speak louder than deeds.

But what about the 2016 election? American voters are finally starting to wise up. “All that glitters is not gold,” they are finally noticing at last. The next generation of American voters is no longer drinking the Kool-Aid. And so the Republican National Committee and the Democratic National Committee are now being forced to join hands and start playing “Whack-a-Mole” — attempting to suppress voter revolts as they spring up, again and again, first in one place and then in another.

Trump wins the nomination on an anti-war platform that includes making peace with Russia and letting Syria work its own problems out? “How can we take it away from him?” screams the RNC. “What war-mongering party hack can we put in his place?”

Sanders, that peace-loving man of the people, is about to win the nomination? “How can we stop him from that?” squawks the DNC. No problem. Just ask the voters in Arizona, California and New York how the DNC did it. They just cheated, lied, committed election fraud and cut Bernie entirely out of media access. Voila!

And now Whack-a-Mole has been activated yet again and Clinton is being shoved down our throats too. But here is the real question — just exactly how much longer can the RNC and the DNC keep playing Whack-a-Mole before American voters really really revolt?

PS: Here’s a comment from my son, posted on social media the night that the MSM, Wall Street and War Street whacked us California voter-moles over the head in order to give Clinton her big win:

“If Hillary is going to get even a fraction towards what this world needs in a leader, she’s going to have to pull out some sh*t that she really hasn’t shown yet, because all I’ve seen so far is glad-handing, false face, pandering (oh damn girl, what’s that in your bag, is that f*cking HOT SAUCE? OMG, sold!), selling out, unyielding war-mongering, reinforcing a RACIST SYSTEM and BUILDING ON IT. She has shown me nothing that makes me feel like politics are mine. Or my generation’s. Or my children’s generation. It’s f*cking bad-ass that she’s a woman. But she is the wrong woman.”

I’m with him!

PPS: Dr. Jill Stein, the Green Party candidate for president, just schooled us Americans with this obvious home-truth: “The two major parties want to offer voters a choice of the two most disliked politicians in America. Lesser evil gets worse every election.”

If we want a woman in the White House, then why not one who will actually be a good role model for our daughters — such as Dr. Stein or Elizabeth Warren? Instead of one who gloats about killing Libya and keeps illegal e-mails in her basement so she can avoid getting caught? And we all know that Bill will run the White House anyway.

I’d rather have Sanders — or even Trump — in the White House than that.

PPPS: Electing RepubliDems again and again is the very definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, always getting the same crappy results — and yet still expecting good results.


June 10, 2016

Kriegeinzfluenz Part II Zeitgeist Propaganda

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 4:34 pm


There is a crisis in philosophy!

This has been the cry since Socrates was buried by Plato’s Republic. It is echoed by Ayn Rand’s acolyte Leonard Peikoff in “The Ominous Parallels” wherein the rise of National Socialism (Nazism) is undertaken and then given as a warning to America, in 1982, portending a new socialism and dictatorship in the overthrowing of the republic.

Despite some limited binary options given, there is something to heed. Objectivism or subjectivism, as though they are separate and mutually exclusive is a philosophy filled will paucity of cogitation. (See my previous publication of Binary Minds:Insect Politics)

The problem, he says, is Aristotelianism against or in contrast to Kantianism. Reason verses Feelings.  Both are operative in every human and is the great discovery of self in a world outside but part of self. We both engulf and are engulfed by both.

So, since Socrates was defamed, I will ask in his stead : What do you mean by Reason (Objectivism)?  What do you mean by Feelings (Subjectivism)?  What is “good” and what is “bad”?

It is reported in history that the Academy had an inscription “Know Thyself” but rarely reported that it followed up with “Master Thyself”.

How does one know themselves without self-examination or master themselves without judging, through ratiocinations over what is found in ones self, and exercising self-discipline?  I advert they don’t and that is why freedom also has duty.

Dignum et justum. Dignity and Justice. Conscience and Actions. We are responsible for what we think and do whether we think or do anything.

Daniel Berrigan would likely call the lack of action as the “Crimes of Silence”.  In our modern corporate politics this becomes the need of addressing the politicians who feel that the ethics of amorality are basic and allow for negotiating with lies, stealing and cheating to gain their objectives.  They wear down opponents through lobbyists. The passage of time and generations with the only goal to be re-elected or elected to higher offices.

The most successful lobbyists are the cacophony of violent street mobs backed by multiversity military contracts for the redistribution of labor and wealth. The greed of the elite comes full circle with the abandonment of any philosophy counter to greed so that insider trading, public research dedicated to private profit and the autocratic force of government for the unethical becomes acceptable as the young sell ideals for sinecures and comforts.

What is unethical?  Is this merely a holdover from catholicism’s reign of centuries of Pope’s declaring ex cathedra the will of God?  Or is it merely the product of the servile fear of losing ones property, position or life? Is it inevitable?

I postulate it is the conundrum of being stuck in either/or, yes or no barriers to seeing that, more than a middle ground, only a limited understanding of oneself (and the fear to go deeper or suppression of self examination) that rejects reason and flails about in irrationalism and oceans of contrary emotions.

This leads to a shutdown of freedom and reason that results in bowing to tyranny as the only answer for a social compact that is not so messy as a true democratic republic actually requires to remain dynamic and of, by and for the people.

Mere cognitive dissonance without the courage to keep going to find solutions that are compassionate as well workable without despotism is abandonment of both humanity and reason.

The founders of America knew this, the current age seems to have forgotten and with this passage over the Lethe of forgetfulness we sink into oligarchy.

“A Republic, if you can keep it”, admonished Benjamin Franklin in full awareness of the compromises that were already the seed of civil unrest with regard to at least slavery.

Have you read John F. Kennedy’s “Profiles in Courage”?  You might be surprised at who he mentions. Sam Houston who was very popular until he stood for conscious equality under the Constitution and lost his seat and political life. Taft was another. Each story was not about the loss incurred but the courage to stand for what was right against popular sentiment to the contrary.  Just like today.

A political philosopher, philosopher pundit, must stand courageously pointing to a future that includes self- sacrifice and some selfishness.

Selfishness? Yes, for we cannot go without air for more than 10 minutes or so, without water for 3 days or so and without food for 40 days or so.  Selfishness or survival, you decide.  This, I think, is the only way to interpret “enlightened self-interest touted by Ayn and her follows in “objectivism”.

Remember also the elder who gives their sustenance to a young mother and her babe.  The starving inmate of a concentration camp who gives that another may live. Survival is only adequate rationale to a point.  It is not a slogan.

We must confront metaphysics personally, we must confront epistemology rationally in order to understand ethics. Politics may for some, the philosopher politician to be sure, be their definition of ethics, but these ethics must be judged against the affect and effects on justice.

Perhaps, this is only the ethics of a lawyer who wishes to serve the social healing of unbridled freedom without regard for consequences, to bind the wounds given by greed and forsee the future of what we do and how it will determine the fate of seven generations after us.

I call this attempting to do and be good. That is why I am running for public office (US Senate) not for prestige, emoluments or power of money or military.  Simply to craft a philosophy for future generations through reasoned acts to bring about the true union we have and the hopes of all the founders of this remarkable United States of America.

Don’t blow it, dear contemporaries in simply being right or wrong for all time and demanding perfection now.  Come, let us reason together.



June 7, 2016

“America’s bombing the shite out of the Middle East,” sez Madam Jane

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 4:26 pm

“It’s not easy being the world’s greatest psychic,” Madam Jane confided to me over coffee at her place this morning. Madam Jane is our neighborhood’s resident fortune-teller.

“The New York Times claims again and again that it is the Russians who are bombing hospitals in Syria, that it is the Taliban who are blowing up hospitals in Afghanistan, and that it is ISIS that is blowing up hospitals in Iraq,” sighed Madam Jane, “but the New York Times can’t see what I see.”

Okay. I’ll bite. “What do you see?”

“Doom! Doom and death! And rivers of blood. I can’t sleep at night. These images haunt me.” Actually, M.J. did look a hot mess. Circles under her eyes. Aged before her time. “I just keep seeing women and children being blown up in the Middle East by American bombs.”

“What? Are you saying that the New York Times got it wrong?” Again?

“It is what it is,” replied Madam Jane. “And for every bomb that America clandestinely drops on mothers and babies in the Middle East? Each of those bombs also represents yet another American child who won’t have a school to go to, or yet another American bridge that is rotting from the inside, or yet another library without books or….”

“Madam Jane! Get some sleep! Please.”

PS: According to journalist Patrick Cockburn, “The Iraqi army backed by Coalition airpower recaptured the city of Ramadi from Isis last December, but more than 70 per cent of its buildings are in ruins and the great majority of its 400,000 people are still displaced…. The notorious remark of a US officer about the town of Ben Tre in Vietnam 50 years ago – that ‘it became necessary to destroy the town to save it’ – could equally be applied to Ramadi.”

PPS: According to brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor, the left side of the human brain has a tendency to produce a whole bunch of angry thoughts. By nature, none of us are Mother Theresas. But the good news is that each of our angry thoughts only lasts 90 seconds. 90 seconds of venting is very common in our left brains and we humans really do need to let it all out — but anything over 90 seconds of expressing anger is just plain wallowing in it and is a total waste of our time.

So the next time we feel really angry, just let it all out — and then move on to something else. Do you hear that, Pentagon? Stop wallowing and grow up. Just let it go!

PPPS: Why is America sending troops to attack Syria right now? But not sending them to attack Libya or Saudi Arabia — where ISIS and al Qaeda are actually coming from? The narrative of America’s foreign policy seems to have been designed by blind men. Libya is a major source of weapons and terrorists right now — and so is Saudi Arabia. Turkey and Israel are also running terrorist rat lines. Yet the United States is sending troops to attack Syria — the main country standing up to ISIS and al Qaeda right now? The people who design our foreign policy seem to be either completely in the dark or really, really bad at their jobs.

Their blindness and/or inefficiency is putting America at risk.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But what is their story?


May 30, 2016

Amazon, Chicago, our future & the amazing book revolution

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 2:46 pm

Do you like to read books? Kindle? FaceBook? Any kind of reading material at all? Do you hang out at your local library and frequently check stuff out? And do you also dream of writing and publishing your very own book someday as well — with your name on the front cover and your photo on the back and your actual words on the pages inside said book? Hey, why not.

These days this dream can easily come true — because right before our eyes (literally) there has been a huge publishing revolution going on in the past few years. Now anybody can write and publish a book. Anybody. Here’s how you do it:

1. Write the book. Start on the first day of January and write just one page a day. By December 31, you will have written 365 pages. Booyah.

2. Go to Amazon’s CreateSpace venue and pop your text into their format. They do the rest. And they actually publish your book and list it on Amazon as well — at no cost to you. How do they do that?

3. Order yourself a copy and then actually hold your very own book in your hands.

Back in the Middle Ages, books were rare and wondrous things, selling for thousands of dollars. Not just anybody could write or even read or own a book. Times have changed since then. A lot.

When I went to BookExpo America in Chicago in early May, there were all kinds of people selling all kinds of books. And I was also happily hawking my latest book there too. Here was me, standing outside the McCormick Place exhibit hall, holding 200 bookmarks containing blurbs about my book, and trying to work up the nerve to force them onto people standing in line to get into the Expo. “Pleeeeeze take my bookmark?” Oh, okay.

And now I’m trying to be brave enough to hawk my book to you as well. “Pleeeeeze buy my book?” It’s called Visions of a Lost and Future World and is the story of a small clan of pre-Columbian American Indians who somehow become immortal and then spend the next grim millennium witnessing the horror and brutality of man’s incessant inhumanity to man.

And, unfortunately, after “war” ravishes our world and also pollutes it beyond redemption, this little clan is forced to witness the end of the human race as well. Sucks to be us.

So. Now you know how to get out there and become an author yourself. And if I can do it, then anyone can. And also buy my book. Please?

Amazon back cover

(Click on the image to see the bar code)

May 25, 2016

Lost in Chicago with a Palestinian holocaust survivor

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 9:02 am

One would think that getting around Chicago by riding its elevated train system would be like a piece of cake. All you gotta do is pay your fare and then get from Point A to Point B. But one would not be counting on my highly-elevated ability to get lost. Anywhere. From Antarctica to Alaska, from the Melbourne to Mecca, from Walgreens to Walmart (except I never go to Walmart because they rip off the working class), I can still manage to get lost — and so Chicago’s “L” system proved to be no different from anyplace else.

But when I found out that Mariam Fathallahan, an 86-year-old survivor of the 1948 Palestinian holocaust, was speaking in Park Ridge, a suburb of Chicago, I decided to take a risk. This was a rare opportunity to hear her speak, so I jumped on the Green Line of the “L”. And jumped off again — onto the Red Line. “You need the Blue Line to get out to Park Ridge,” someone finally told me, “but not the Pink, Orange or Brown.” They got a pink line in Chicago? How cool is that!

So I got off that train and onto another train and then onto another train again. And ended up at O’Hare airport. But finally found the right station and then street-hiked east for a mile. So far so good. Only got lost three times. And when I got to the event, there was lots of free food! Hummus and falafels. Well worth the trip.

Over baklava, I got to talk with this refugee from the 1948 Palestine “Catastrophe” — and she was delightful. Jews don’t have a lock on delightful older holocaust refugees who have lived through Hell and survived, moving on to become wise people who are anti-war right down to the tips of their toes. Many Native American holocaust survivors are like that as well. And also survivors of Reagan’s 1980s ethnic cleansing of the Maya in Guatemala. But I digress.

As the evening wore on, it started raining cats and dogs outside and had gotten really really dark so I had to leave early so I could find my way back. But I heard later that the rest of the presentation went well.

Amena Ashkar, Fathallah’s translator and also a refugee who was born in the camps in Lebanon, had really interesting stuff to say. “When Israel invaded Lebanon in 1982, their main purpose was to get rid of Palestinian refugees,” and thus continue the Israeli neo-colonialist brutal ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. Having survived one holocaust already, Palestinians were then subject to yet another holocaust in Lebanon.

“Does Israel have a right to exist, you might ask me?” said Ashkar, “and my answer is this: Do I also have a right to exist as well?” Someone else added that it is definitely not cool to ask a rape victim if she recognizes the rights of her rapist.

So in the dark of night and pouring rain, I stumbled around the suburbs of Park Ridge, totally and hopelessly lost — until I finally saw a faint light in the distance. It was a Walgreens! “You walk a mile south then cross a bridge over the freeway and then walk a mile more,” said the friendly and helpful clerk. Great, just great. And then I also found out that parts of suburban Chicago have no sidewalks.

And somehow I finally made it back to the South Loop Hotel and took a hot bath.

But how many Palestinian holocaust refugees today even have that option — to take a hot bath?

PS: One of the main reasons that I truly dislike the Clinton-Trump presidential ticket is because they both seem to be taking great glee at the thought of killing even more women and children in the Middle East than have already been maimed, slaughtered or made homeless by American-made bombs. Don’t all those millions of victims of the Bush-Obama-Clinton-Trump doctrine in the Middle East hate us enough already?

PPS: I’m not the only one that gets lost easily. America too has lost its way. Instead of heading toward the bright boulevards of Life, Liberty, the Pursuit of Happiness and the Golden Rule, my country has completely lost its way inside a labyrinth of dark alleys that go nowhere — and have scary names like “Regime Change” and Genocide” and “Homelessness” and “Outsourcing”.

PPPS: News just in from my Syrian friend that yet another massive suicide bombing by ISIS/al Qaeda just took place in Syria. And the American neo-con RepubliDems are now jumping with joy. “Soon Syria will be another Libya!” they whisper behind their hands. And at the rate that Wall Street and War Street are supporting al Qaeda and ISIS, America will soon become another Libya too.

“It’s really bad over there today,” writes my friend. “And the West’s pro-zombi media is celebrating their ‘victory’ on the ‘infidels’! But the pattern is so simple though: Whenever the Syrian Arab Army and their allies win against the ISIS and al Qaeda terrorists and armed gangs, then the terrorists target the civilians, not the army! They are blackmailing the Syrian government and army by targeting the people.

“I can imagine the Saudis, Turks, Qataris and whoever else is behind them [American and Israeli neo-colonialists!] saying to the Syrian officials in the negotiations: ‘If you won against our militias or if you are not going to surrender, we gonna order them to slaughter more civilians — and the Western media won’t even mention Syria’s dead (or our crimes).’

“I wish that these criminals would not be allowed to get away with their crimes. And I also wish to witness their judgement day for the horrors they have inflicted on Syria.” Me too!


May 20, 2016

The 2016 BookExpo: Reading & eating pizza in Chicago

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 11:58 am

Ever been to Chicago? Why would you even want to go there? For the pizza! And the books. The 2016 BookExpo America was just held in Chicago. You walk into the huge McCormick Place exhibition hall and right before your very eyes there are hundreds of booksellers, all wanting you to look at their stuff — or to meet their authors. Or, better yet, wanting to give you a free book!

But by now I’m wise to the tricky ways of book conventions. When I first started attending them, I used to bring home all kinds of free books. Now I only bring home the ones that I know I will read — such as my advance-review autographed copy of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s “Writings on the Wall”. I can hardly wait to dive into that one. Plus I actually got to meet him.

Then I met the authors of “The Heart of the Fight,” a book that tells us that having marital battles can actually help a relationship instead of hurting it, but only if you know how to fight correctly. Gotta read that. Not that I’m married or nothing — but I know lots of people who are.

Also, after reading this book, I realized that the rules of fighting fair and square (and with effective results) can also be applied to fights between nations — or between neo-colonial invaders and the countries they invade. To judge them by this book, American neo-colonialists blow things up and murder people and destroy the planet because they aren’t getting what they need in their lives and can’t “break free from their limiting beliefs and behaviors,” ones that involve taking the entire human race down with them.

I also stayed at the South Loop Hotel, located in an area formerly known as Chicago’s South Side. All those housing projects are gone now. Gone. Leaving nothing but new yuppie condos and vacant lots. And DeMichael’s Market, where I subsisted on its corned beef sandwiches and Traders Point yogurt (when I wasn’t out actively searching for pizza).

I also met authors Terry McMillan, Sebastian Junger, Colson Whitehead, Jennifer Chiaverini, Faith Salie and I forget who all else. And man whose wife wrote a children’s book gave me a ride to the convention center and a copy of “Gertrude and Toby’s Friday Adventure”. Your kid will love it.

But now let’s talk about pizza. Connie’s Pizza was just so freaking good! And I even found a restaurant that served gluten-free pizza. I ate the whole thing. I shoulda ate more pizza in Chicago. I shoulda read more books. But I got distracted by a wild party in Bronzeville and just barely missed getting arrested. But if I had gotten arrested, then I could have reported back on whether they served good pizza in jail.

PS: On my way up to see Navy Pier, the #29 bus drove right past Trump Tower. Which got me to thinking about what it would be like to have “The Donald” as president. He’s bad — but “The Hillary” would be far, far worse. Trump talks the talk about being down on Muslims, but Clinton actually goes out and kills them. Can America afford another Libya? No, no, no and no. Vote for Bernie.


May 7, 2016

Aleppo hospital bombing: Lies, lies & more lies from US/al Qaeda

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 2:42 pm

Just how many god-damned lies can the American public listen to before they finally start screaming “Enough!” Apparently a lot. Apparently Americans possess a bottomless capacity to both absorb lies and be lied to. Apparently the American public has no trouble at all believing all kinds of clearly-phony propaganda touts and “pants on fire” types of lies — they’re even better at believing propaganda than the “Good Germans” were before World War II. Disgusting.

What would Jesus do if He were alive today and being lied to like this? He’d move to Canada! Trust me, I am just waiting for global warming to heat Canada up a few more degrees and then I’ll be moving there too! Or else to Vermont. They don’t seem to be quite as gullible in Canada and Vermont.

So. Exactly which lies set me off this time? The ones about Syria. There are currently even more lies than usual about Syria on America’s mainstream media right now. “But what is the real truth?” you might ask. Let’s find out.

Between all the eye-witness accounts now available on the internet and FaceBook and Twitter, there is absolutely no excuse for the American public to be misinformed. For instance, here is the true 411 from a Syrian friend of mine about a hospital in Aleppo that just got french-fried by al Qaeda missiles — a vicious bombing that is currently being blamed by the mainstream media on Syrians, President Assad and the Russians. Huh?

I thought that Americans were spozed to not like al Qaeda. Why is the MSM now taking their side?

Journalist Vanessa Beeley recently asked a doctor in West Aleppo to confirm that a hospital there, that the MSM is accusing Assad of bombing, does actually exist. And, if it actually does exist, was it bombed by al Qaeda and then blamed on Assad by the MSM? The doctor’s response? “This hospital [Al Quds] did not exist before the war started. It must have been installed in a building [by al Qaeda] after the war began.” Further, the doctor didn’t know anyone who could confirm that the hospital being blown up in a MSM news video was even this mysterious Al Quds. The video really looks photo-shopped to me.

But then my Syrian friend clarified the situation even further. Here are some of his quotes:

“I know this doctor personally because I am his patient. He’s a very good physician and I trust him. And I too think that what he said is correct. This ‘hospital’ could be just a normal building that had been turned into a clinic to cure the ‘moderate rebel’ terrorists since 2012. No one knows of it or heard of it before.” Figures.

“My brother said that this particular building had been hit by a US missile, as a false flag to blame the Syrian Arab Army for doing so.” And that’s the exact same type of lie we’ve been told here in America since “Remember the Maine” in 1898 and “Weapons of Mass Destruction” in 2003 were forced down our throats.

“On the other hand,” says my friend, “The MSM hasn’t shown anything about the other hospitals that were hit by America’s beloved al Qaeda terrorists within the last week. They didn’t show the hundreds of injured people, the dozens who have been killed daily, the 500-year-old mosque and Christian orthodox church that had been shelled by terrorist mortars while people were praying Friday prayers in the first, and celebrating the Good Friday in the next one. It had been hit on Sunday while celebrating Easter.”

Of course Americans are never told anything about this.

“Many residential buildings in Aleppo have been destroyed by new types of mortars and rockets that are much more powerful than the old ones.” Yeah and where exactly did al Qaeda even get all these new mortars and rockets? Manufactured them in their tents out in the desert, did they? Not.

“Buildings in Aleppo have been collapsed on the heads of their inhabitants. One kid lost all of his family members. There are plenty of stories, really, of al Qaeda bombings. But the American MSM is lying, blaming all this carnage on Assad and the SAA.

And now the MSM is even showing videos of children who are supposed to be the kids of so-called freedom fighters. “They are supposed to be terrorists’ own kids, in order to gain our sympathy for these zombie terrorist ‘rebels’ — allegedly now ‘freedom fighters’ who are only protecting their families and not the real al Qaeda terrorists that they are. One of the little girls shown was named ‘Helen’. What kind of Syrian name is that!

“It would be like showing one of Osama bin Ladin’s sweet little girls and then claiming that bin Ladin is a freedom fighter based solely on his having fathered this child. All this lying is just about going to give me a stroke or a heart attack!”

Me too!

“Pregnant women and newborn babies had been killed in the obstetric hospital of Dabbeet in Aleppo, after been hit by terrorist mortars. Ar-Razi hospital had been hit with terrorist mortars and it caught on fire in some of its sections, and this is one of the few free hospitals left in Aleppo. Another private hospital had been hit in the New Aleppo sector of the city. But do Americans ever see them on TV?” Not that I’ve noticed.

According to my Syrian friend, these hospitals have all been hit by al Qaeda “moderate rebels” — with mortars supplied to al Qaeda by the House of Saud, America, Turkey and Israel. Are we proud of our country yet? “O say does that star-spangled banner” now wave…over al Qaeda? It sure does.

I thought we Americans were spozed to hate al Qaeda. Apparently not.

“In the Midan neighborhood, it originally had Armenian residents but because of the crisis and refugees and immigrating, today it’s a mixed place for mostly poor people. It too has been hit so badly in the last week by al Qaeda.” Moderate rebels indeed. Anybody with any sense will know that it’s still all about oil, same as it was in Iraq and Libya.

In his must-read book “Overthrow,” Steven Kinzer states that America had armed and trained ten thousand (10,000) fundamentalist al Qaeda terrorists in the run-up to 9-11. And apparently a lot of them are still around. But I digress.

“I don’t know what to say,” continues my Syrian friend. “My wishful thinking is telling me that Russia, the SAA, Hezbollah and others will not let Aleppo to fall into the hands of these barbarians and whoever is supporting them. Syria’s defenders were doing so well before the ceasefire. The ceasefire agreement gave the al Qaeda terrorists better weapons and a rest to catch up and attack the way we are witnessing today.” Clearly, al Qaeda’s supporters have got their lies in a row.

“Al Qaeda is shelling civilians, sometimes randomly and sometimes deliberately — as when they targeted hospitals just today with new heavy and big rockets, and they also now have snipers with special exploding bullets, the kind which are used by the Israelis against Palestinians. Once these bullets enter a human body, they explode into many tiny shrapnel pieces in order to make as much damage as possible. These snipers have a very long range as well.” Sucks to be a Syrian these days.

“The media is not showing any of that, but instead are twisting all the realities and showing them the other way around, or else they might show only when the SAA is shooting back against deliberate provocation — as if the SAA was violating the ceasefire, not al Qaeda.” Why does the MSM do this? It must be threatened, bribed or bought out.

“But what is the difference between al Qaeda, al Nusra and ISIS?” I asked.

“They are all the same. It’s a full package of war on all levels: Fierce conflict on the ground; MSM polishing the terrorists’ image and showing them as ‘Freedom fighters’; lack of water and good supplies; expensive prices of everything for the poor people; more people to suffer, injured, killed, losing their homes, becoming refugees…etc.”

And this ugly truth is simply not getting out to Americans via the MSM, with their millions of viewers who now actually believe that al Qaeda is a good guy. But try telling that to the families of 9-11 victims and see what they say.

How can I deal with the knowledge that my own government willingly bombs hospitals — and then lies about it? I can’t.


PS: Yahoo News just posted a completely mendacious article stating that President Assad is using sarin gas (again). It was a lie the first time — and it’s a lie now.

May 3, 2016

ISIS: Is the word “assassin” derived from “hashish”?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 8:19 pm

Here’s a link to a trailer for the new Edward Snowden film by Oliver Stone. It shows American drones assassinating a bunch of folks in foreign lands.

And here’s what Seymour Hersch has to say about that: “What [reps of the American military-industrial complex] do now is [they] do targeted assassinations. Earlier, I think [they] just moved [perspective targets] out of office or did operations, political operations. But now it’s really just, [they] hit people. There’s a weekly meeting in which they go through names of people to target, assassinate, including, in some cases, an American, without any due process. It’s been a wonderful movement. I don’t mean to be too sarcastic about it, but [Obama] ended up in the same place far too many times, as Bush and Cheney [did].

But the most bizarre assassinations of all are being executed in Syria right now by drugged ISIS assassins (aka “moderate rebels”). How yucky is that!

Here’s the story. A Saudi prince was arrested in Lebanon for having an airplane full of two (2) tons of Captagon, a designer-drug amphetamine that turns regular run-of-the-mill sadistic ISIS guys into truly insane butchers.

Back in the day, assassinations in the Middle East were associated with the use of hashish — that the assassins would get all hopped up on hash and then go slit someone’s throat. But apparently hashish is being given a bum rap here, and assassins back in the 13th century were just bad people employed by a guy named Hassan-i-Sabah to kill all his rivals — and that the assassins’ alleged connection with hashish had been invented and glorified by a pulp-fiction writer in Paris in 1809 — or something like that.

But there are currently actual evil assassins in the Middle East today. And they are all employed by the American military-industrial complex, their close allies Turkey and the House of Saud, and of course our old favorite for stirring up trouble over there, Israeli neo-colonialists. And apparently these assassins are being hopped up on Captagon in order to keep the heads rolling.

So what’s the moral of this story? That America’s foreign policy is truly medieval.

PS: And speaking of death, I just scored a role in yet another student film, playing yet another dying little old lady. Good grief, when I actually do get ready to die, I will have already had dozens of rehearsals — and will be able to pull it off with amazing flash and charm.

PPS: And speaking of assassinations, American democracy appears to be getting systematically assassinated by Wall Street and War Street. The Arizona primary was a crime and the New York primary was a cruel joke (on us).

Younger Americans, Black Americans, working-class Americans and first-generation Americans are having their names systematically assassinated from voter-registration rolls all over America right now. And this stealthy and criminal behavior has been going on for years. And the only people who object to it are the people who can no longer vote. Of course.

ganges fire (3)

April 27, 2016

The IRS: Why it’s screwing America’s bottom 15%

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 1:28 pm

The Berkeley-Albany Bar Association has done it again! BABA just scored yet another resounding triumph at its latest luncheon meeting at the Berkeley City Club, where it featured a speaker who told us lots of important stuff that we didn’t already know.

The Berkeley City Club is an architectural work of art, both inside and out. Designed by Julia Morgan in 1927, it features Moorish/Gothic architecture, carved wooden banisters, exotic chandeliers and fabulous Persian rugs. Gotta love the place — even though its culinary specialty appears to be rubber chicken. I always take my granddaughter, baby Sofia, with me to BABA luncheons so that she can learn to appreciate true beauty at a young age, be instructed in the correct use of silverware and hear top-notch speakers as well (and also because I can’t afford a baby sitter).

Anyway, last month’s luncheon speaker talked about the latest changes taking place at the IRS. Apparently the IRS’s budget was cut by 15% last year. “That explains why I couldn’t get anyone on the phone there to answer my tax questions,” I commented to the attorney sitting next to me. “The phone would ring and ring, but nobody would answer.” Nobody was home at the IRS!

And the attorney sitting next to me replied, “Yes, and this fact also explains why the IRS is spending so much time auditing the bottom 15% of American taxpayers right now — because they know that the bottom 15% can’t afford to hire high-priced tax attorneys to fight their cases for them like the wealthy corporations can, and the IRS no longer has extra money to spend on hiring a bunch of tax attorneys to defend its actions. And so the bottom 15% of American taxpayers are now sitting ducks.” Oh. Good to know.

PS: I sincerely hope that the IRS doesn’t audit me! Have you ever tried to represent your own self in court, in propria persona, without an attorney? It is totally not fun! Plus the chances are really, really good that you will get completely steam-rollered over in court, even if you are right and the opposing party is wrong — to say nothing about not being able to afford court fees.

Sometimes what goes on in American courtrooms is less about justice and more about who can afford to hire the best judicial procedure.

But on the other hand, sometimes you actually do get assigned to a good judge who is fair in his role as “Trier of Fact” — and that makes your faith in the American judicial system bloom like a rose.

PPS: Speaking of injustice, I’ll be going to Chicago on May 11, home of the most outrageously unjust probate system in the entire United States. In Chicago, screwing widows and orphans has been elevated to a fine art!

And also while in Chicago, I plan to attend the annual BookExpo America, always big fun. Perhaps I will see you there.

Street Sofia Oct 2 2015

April 17, 2016

Columnist Touts Columnists

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 1:15 pm



Bob Patterson as told to the intern.

Interesting lives are the raw product sought by writers. Living well is not only the best revenge, it is a great way to gather material.

Every year The World’s Laziest Journalist has made an effort to note and celebrate National Columnists Day.  This year the summer intern has made the annual event an opportunity for soul searching and self-realization because the intern has led a remarkably interesting life and is disappointed that the chances to tell the intern’s story are evaporating rapidly.

Since a great many books have been published about the literary heritage and history of San Francisco it would seem that someone who was an early anti-war protester, involved with the Diggers and the Family Dog and whose story is from the adolescent coming of age viewpoint  rather than the adults who led the younger generation into the beat subculture through works such as “On the Road”.

Hippies were beatnik wannabes and too young to have participated in the beat scene. They went wild and formed the basis of the Hippie fad much to the delight of the reporters and writers of the mainstream media.

Sitting back now, on the back porch of the Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory employee recreational facility, dictating memoirs, may seem mundane but until the mainstream media labels today’s college generation the trendsetters will just have to bide their time until the new literary movement is properly initiated.

This year the columnists who are supposed to be in the vanguard of trend spotting should hang their heads in shame. Where are the influential pundits who will put a brand name on the new generation?

San Francisco has become the focus point for the internet savvy techies who are elevating gender confusing and dangerous sexual freedoms as the next cultural trend.

San Francisco has become Fantasy Island with franchises in all major urban centers.

Columnists seem to have abdicated their duty to alerting the country of the latest cultural trends instead adopting a politically neutral stances which is politically correct.

Isn’t that what they are supposed to be doing? Pushing the boundaries and making people think about what is happening and where that will lead them?

Have the pundits consciously refused to consider the long term effects of Fukushima?

Pundits are hysterical about Donald Trump not being entitled to the Republican Party nomination. Will any columnist ask if the young disgruntled Republicans are as upset as the young Democrats were when it became obvious Hubert Humphrey could not be denied the Democrat’s nomination?

Will any pundit define vicarious trauma for their readers?

Has any pundit reported the conspiracy theory fans are taking a new and closer look at the death of Sonny Bono?

The intern would like to promote the concept of a San Francisco Bay Area Commission to study the homeless problem, available resources and inter county cooperation. Perhaps even addressing the shrinking rental market and the skyrocketing rental prices.

Can anyone other than a columnist ask if the readers have heard the rumor that Hillary may have suffered a recent stroke?

Many famous writers have offered their opinions to the world in the guise of writing columns.

The intern and the World’s Laziest Journalist strongly endorse this maneuver and urge young writers to express their ideas and opinions on the internet.

Stay tuned.  Meanwhile have a mind-blowing 420, pay your taxes (the intern debates whether you have to witness against yourself or just file a blank signed form, if you can find the form) and read as many different columnists as possible.

Now the disk jockey will play… ditt ditt ditt Dah…Beethoven’s fifth for you drogues.

Two important American history books: “1776″ and “Overthrow”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 1:14 pm

Purely by coincidence I have started reading two different books about American history — but they both have the same theme.

One book, “1776,” tells the emotional story of how heroic yeomen-farmers and shop-keepers in America put together an amazing rag-tag army and heroically risked defeat and death in order to fight for justice, liberty and the very soil of their own country, in order to defend it against tyrannical despots from across the sea.

The other book, “Overthrow,” also tells emotional stories of how heroic yeomen-farmers and shop-keepers across the globe have put together their amazing rag-tag armies and heroically risked defeat and death in order to fight for justice, liberty and the very soil of their own countries, in order to defend them against tyrannical despots from across the sea.

The only difference between the two books is that one book is about defending America against a tyrannical despot — and the other book is about countries around the world defending themselves against a tyrannical despot. The tyrannical despot in “1776″ was Britain. The tyrannical despot in “Overthrow” is America.

Reading about the overthrow of Britain by brave American rebels in 1776, and then reading both here and elsewhere about the overt or covert overthrow of the legitimate governments of Hawaii, Cuba, the Philippines, Honduras, Puerto Rico, Panama, Nicaragua, Iran, Mexico, Palestine, Vietnam, Chile, Taiwan, Guatemala, Argentina, Grenada, Congo, Angola, Lebanon, Haiti (twice), Yugoslavia, Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. by tyrannical American invaders is all just too deja vu for me.

“Since independence in 1776, the U.S. has been engaged in over 53 military invasions and expeditions…. America is using ISIS in three ways: to attack its enemies in the Middle East, to serve as a pretext for U.S. military intervention abroad, and at home to foment a manufactured domestic threat, used to justify the unprecedented expansion of invasive domestic surveillance.”

In addition, America has also continually missed its many chances to follow the example of our heroic 1776 ancestors and help overthrow a lot of tyrannical despots across the globe too — such as Saudi Arabia, where the 9-11 plot was actually hatched, or Israel, where the 9-11 plot was cheered on. Instead, America has made these tyrants and despots some of their closest allies. What’s with that?

And America should also stop supporting ISIS in Syria and Iraq as well. Syria under President Assad just held a parliamentary election. Can American-supported “moderate rebels” aka ISIS make that claim too? No, no and no. In fact, the Syrian election results aren’t even in yet because several ISIS-held sections of Aleppo aren’t being allowed to vote. Just one more example of America backing tyrannical despots — in this case ISIS. George Washington must be rolling over in his grave.

How far have American ideals and values fallen since 1776? About as far as humanly possible. “We have met the enemy and they are us,” to quote Pogo.

PS: Speaking of books, the annual BookExpo America will be held in Chicago this year, starting on May 11 — and I’m going to be there. Try to be there too, okay?


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