December 11, 2018

You better watch out: Santa’s list of injustices is really long this year

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 8:09 pm

Up at the North Pole, not much is going on right now. Even the elves are on strike. “Looks like nobody’s going to get any toys this year,” Santa says with a frown. And he’s not even baking chocolate-chip cookies either. It’s that bad. What’s up, Santa? “Everyone has been super-naughty during 2018 — and not just only the kids. I’m disgusted.”

Here’s Santa’s “naughty” list for this year:

1. First off, there’s always Palestine — still a gigantic festering wound of injustice that’s landed Israel on the Naughty List continuously for the past 70 miserable years. It’s a good thing that Netanyahu doesn’t believe in Santa because all he’s gonna get in his stocking this year is coal, phish and spam. Santa doesn’t care what religion Bibi pretends to represent. After the horrors of Jenin and the horrors of Gaza? Netanyahu has proved time and again that he honors no religion at all — except possibly for the worship of Mammon. “Don’t mess with The Claus!”

2. Next there are all those stolen American elections. You evil vote-stealers are not getting on the “Nice” list this year! O’Rourke shoulda won in Texas. Abrams shoulda won in Georgia. Gillum shoulda won in Florida. Hell, even Gore, Kerry and Bernie Sanders shoulda won the freaking White House. And Israel and the Saudis had their hands in the electoral cookie jar too. But who, exactly, can Santa appeal to? The Supreme Court? Don’t make him laugh. Move along, folks, no bowl full of jelly here. There is nothing “Nice” going on at the Supreme Court. In America, the Rule of Law is pretty much screwed.

3. Syria, Yemen, Iraq, Lebanon, Afghanistan, Libya and Bethlehem? No wise men on camels will be involved there. And no one will be dropping down any chimneys in the Middle East either — because there are hardly any chimneys left over there to drop down in, thanks to Lockheed-Martin, Exxon and BlackRock. So the Pentagon, the CIA, Congress and the White House will get no visit from Rudolph this year.

4. Latin America, Africa and Asia? The injustices committed here are way beyond “Naughty”. Santa is extremely unhappy about this — and so is his Boss. “Jesus Christ!”

5. Up at Standing Rock and Pine Ridge and down in Tijuana, Tomillo and the Amazon — everyone gets toys. Leonard Peltier will be getting a bright shiny fire truck to warm up his cold prison cell. Big Oil, Big Polluters, Big Pharma and Big Banksters get nothing. It is better to give than to steal.

6. And then there are all the American homeless, all the American children living in cars, all the American slaves of the prison-industrial complex, all the American victims of hurricanes, wildfires and other climate catastrophes — and all of America’s many other society castoffs. Black lives really do matter. “Harrumph,” says Santa. “There’s no excuse for those corporate bastards to be all this naughty when there is clearly more than enough food, clothing, jobs, shelter and toys to go around in order to protect, nurture and love every single person in America — and even in this whole world.” Not only just that child in the manger.

Santa is truly pissed off this year.

You should be too.


December 8, 2018

The G20′s end-game: Destroy humanity then buy a bunker? Seriously?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 3:48 pm

Holy cow, it clearly sucks eggs to be a Honduran refugee in Tijuana these days. What the freak do they possibly have to look forward to? And, good grief, how I would hate to spend my short miserable life scrounging for blood diamonds in Africa right now. Or being a starving two-year-old living under the Saudi cross-hairs in Yemen? Who the freak would want to do that?

Or I’d even hate to be one of those poor unfortunate souls currently going to Harvard on a student loan. What kind of shite-show future do they have in store?

But worst of all, I would truly hate to be a card-carrying member of the G20. Those people gots no future at all.

“But, Jane,” you might say, “those guys all stay in twelve-star hotels, live on steak and truffles and have French maids to wipe them after they poop. They are wealthy beyond belief.”

Too true.

But what exactly is their fabulous wealth actually based on? War-profiteering? Price-gouging? Stock-market ponzi-schemes? Stealing lunch money form school children? Nah. The bottom line for these guys is that their eye-popping wealthiness ultimately comes from only one thing. “Interest rates.”

These blind fools have all become slaves to interest rates.

If something pays a high rate of interest, then they will always cling to it like Saran Wrap — never ever ever ever considering if there are moral costs too. They will never let go of collecting student-loan debts. They will never let go of permanent “war”. They will never let go of receiving government bailouts, creating pollution, drug and human trafficking, “eminent domain,” fond memories of that wonderful 2008 housing crash, hopes for the next huge economic crash about to hit us, big-box stores paying slave wages, privatization, 9-11, whatever. If it creates interest, go for it.

Even if the G20′s latest interest-creating gambit destroys the world? Nuclear explosions? Genocide? Rampant wildfires? Chainsaws? Sure. Why not. These guys can always earn interest by selling new and better bunkers to each other.

But here’s a word of advice. “You need to get over yourselves, G20.” Yours is just not a viable plan. Your insatiable vampire-like lust for interest-rate payback is gonna murder the rest of us for sure. And sadly it will also strangle you in the process too — down there in your well-guarded, well-stocked and elegantly glorified tombs.


December 4, 2018

Hey, Mueller! Look over THERE!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 3:44 pm

Election theft is on the rise in America, that’s for sure. But Robert Mueller is definitely looking in all the wrong places. “Psst, Bob….”

How come Mueller never seems to notice all those huge vote thefts in Florida, Georgia, Ohio and Texas? Most Americans know who stole them (or at least we should know). And the villains, idiots, creeps and greedy bastards elected as a result of all this vote theft clearly in favor of Republicans (GWB for instance and Trump…)? They have cost Americans approximately twenty-one trillion dollars — so far. Betcha Putin never had his hand shoved that far into the American cookie jar.

Then there’s the Saudis. “Hey, Mueller, lookie here.” The Saudis are absolutely rolling in moola. And they spend their money wisely — buying America out. Trump knows this, Robert. And so did Reagan both Bushes, Obama and both Clintons too. So why don’t you?

And of course we all love to hate Putin. But seriously? Who is the real election thief here (besides of course Anton Scalia)? Why it’s Trump’s new BFF, Bibi Netanyahu. “Mueller, why aren’t you going after him?” Why indeed.

Putin is easy pickings — but clearly nobody here has the cajones to mess with the real election thieves. “Republicans, Israel and Saudi Arabia.” You heard it here first, Bob. And, sadly, you heard it here last as well. Bibi, MbS and the GOP ain’t never gonna go to jail. Why? Because they have simply stolen too many votes. They own America now. To the victors go the spoils.


December 2, 2018

Human extinction: Not with a bang but a sore throat…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 3:44 pm

I just got a small taste of what it’s gonna be like here on Planet Earth in the year 2028 — and, frankly, it scared the holy crap out of me. “So. What happened,” you might ask. Long story.

First of all, a massive curtain of toxic smoke from that huge NorCal wildfires slowly descended on my own hometown recently. We all struggled around in gas masks and it became rather hard to breathe.

Next I foolishly started thinking, “What’s a little haze in the air? I’m young. I’m strong. I don’t need no stinking gas masks.” Ha.

And then I got a horrible sore throat. My eyes watered. My nose ran. I constantly coughed. I took to my bed. I truly thought that I was going to die.

But I didn’t.

But I could have.

And that, dear readers, was my own personal sneak-preview experience of what death by climate catastrophe will be like in the year 2028.

Your experience could be different, of course. You could freeze to death — or drown in a flood or get hit by a tornado. But for most of us? It will be one long, painful and ignominious Death by Sore Throat.

PS: And what will be the main cause of this massive human-extinction event? No, it won’t be because you or I didn’t drive a Prius or because we forgot to recycle or even because we took too many jet plane rides on vacation.

No, Extinction ’28 will be mostly caused by all those petty little “wars” that our idiot leaders in Washington DC, London, Tel Aviv and Saudi Arabia are so very fond of.

Their constant and heartless mega-bombing of Yemen not only murders school children in Sanaa but it also is murdering us too — only slower.

Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Ukraine, Palestine, Gaza, Ferguson…. Every single bomb dropped, every single tank on the ground and every single F16 in the air brings all of us just that much closer to Extinction 2028.

Stop Wall Street and War Street from destroying our world. And while you’re at it, please buy my books.


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