Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…
“Featuring only the kinda spam you can enjoy… A LOT.”
Found in Scribe’s E-box…
ONE LAWYER YOU HAVE TO LOVE
As most of you receiving this know, New Orleans residents are challenged often with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client that was priceless.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted, if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s… loan application, we note that the request is supported by an abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows…
(actual letter): “Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. , from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ‘ expedition. Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?”
The loan was approved.
Mean, Yet FUN Practical Jokes
“Like replacing a guide dog with a wild boar, something no one should do, but tickles imagination’s funny bone.”
Ya know those Mommy shopping carts with the truck or car so kiddies can ride while “steering?” Hook up the wheel so it works: OCCASIONALLY. Twill drive Mommy bonkers and probably make her curse, “What the %$#@ is wrong with this thing?” Very educational when it comes to profanity.
Having Fun with Game Boards, Not on the Market… YET
Scribe’s note: These ideas are free to any enterprising young, or “olde” and quite crotchety, Marketeer. (As in the more corporate friendly replacement for The Mouseketeers.) Scribe does try to remain ahead of the curve, but it’s possible he’s a “little behind…” maybe the Chinese already have them in production? (Scribe’s sure Maiden Millie would say “a whole lot of behind.”) Some of these games might help your children become more Junior-like. Some might help them learn to turn the tables on the little murderous, spoiled-brat, dictator wannabe. Scribe does not take responsibility for any problems created by any government or corporation evil, idiotic, or CHINESE enough to actual sell these concepts to the American public, but too much of the public may well be moronic enough to buy…
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