June 11, 2011

As Bart Simpson shoulda said to Rep. Weiner, “Eat my shorts!”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Jane Stillwater @ 2:50 pm

Now that Jack Kevorkian has passed away, the world is badly in need of a new Doctor Death. I want to apply for that job! Heck, I can’t even get my garden to grow. Even the weeds here die off, so I’m a natural when it comes to assisting old people with suicide. All I have to do is let them spend a day in my back yard and they’d be off to Heaven in no time. Plus I also know P’howa, the Tibetan art of transferring consciousness to a new body after you’re dead. That’s a two-for-one deal that I’m offering here! And, unlike Sarah Palin and her expensive corporate-run death panels, my rates are cheap.

Speaking of transferring consciousness, someone ought to transfer some consciousness over to Anthony Weiner. Does he not know that you don’t mess with the big bosses? Taking on Clarence Thomas for insider trading? What was he THINKING! This is NOT Wisconsin and there is no Ian’s Pizza available in Washington DC.

Senator Vitter can get away with visiting whore houses all over the country but that’s only because he’s a Republican. Democrats taking photos of their own lingerie? Not so much.

And speaking of Wisconsin, I’m about to leave for the 2011 Netroots Nation convention in Minneapolis from June 16 to June 19. Sorry, Joe, but I’m going to have to miss Father’s Day. Listening to some representative from the Bush-Obama-Bush White House tell us what a wonderful job Obama is doing while serving as a place-holder for John Ellis Bush is something that I just can’t afford to miss.

And speaking of missing the boat, how about that old Ship of Fools? Someone just equated America in 2011 with Germany in 1939. He could be onto something there. Both countries were/are run by National Socialists — where corporations and governments happily entwine themselves symbiotically while folks like you and me are left out in the cold, passengers on the infamous USS Ship of Fools.

Back before it was too late, all of us poor American middle-class fools shoulda just said to the corporatists the same thing that Bart Simpson shoulda told Anthony Weiner to say — “Eat my shorts!” But we didn’t.

“Jane, I think that we progressives should all get out of America and immigrate to Costa Rica or Canada or somewhere while the getting is still good!” said the guy who thought America was like Germany back in 1939. No way! I wanna stick around and see how America’s post-2012 National Socialist corporatist concentration-camp thingie is gonna play out.

Plus there will surely be a lot of Fools left here in America who will be needing P’howa after the soon-to-be-legendary 2012 election takes place. After 2012, when the corporatists and “endless war” advocates have finally taken over completely, America is going to be needing a new Doctor Death even more than ever. And in America’s current wretched economic crisis situation, that’s an employment opportunity that I just can’t afford to pass up.


June 10, 2011

The Torch is passed (again)

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:22 pm

People who graduated from high school fifty years ago this month may want to indulge in a bit of nostalgia by exhuming a transcript of their commencement speech and having their lawyer take a closer look at it. Were all of that year’s inspiring words more of a variation of the “campaign promises” concept or did those inspirational words come with an implied guarantee? If so, it might be time to adhere to one of the basic principles established in the Constitution, by America’s founding fathers: “Sue the bastards!”

Would it be an example of poignancy if a kid who got a brand new car as a high school graduation present in June of 1961 were still driving that same car today? In the Spring of 1961, the last B-52 rolled off the Boeing production line and many of them are still in use to this very day.

What else hasn’t changed since the class of 1961 was promised a better world?

Before turning the keys to the White House over to Jack Kennedy, the departing president (a general from WWII), had warned folks not to let the military industrial complex become America’s guiding light (at the end of the tunnel?). It didn’t take long for the new young President to send American troops, as advisors, abroad doing the political version of what “location scouts” do for movie making.

Radio soap operas were transitioning into TV series, but when that class had started high school in the Fall of 1957, many of them were still available on radio. The radio audience had wondered, like Helen Trent, could a woman, after her 35th birthday, find romance? It would be well into the 70’s before that question would become relevant to the class of 1961.

What ever happened to “Our Gal Sunday”? She was, as listeners were informed at the start of each broadcast, someone “from the little mining town of Silver Creek, Colorado,” and she had “in young womanhood married England’s most handsome lord, Lord Henry Brinthrope.” How did that work out for her?

What ever happened to: “Aunt Jenny,” “Young Doctor Malone,” “Just Plain Bill,” “Ma Perkins,” and/or “Nora Drake”?

The members of the graduation class of 1961 are sure to be retired and collecting their Social Security checks by now and so they will have plenty of leisure time to look up the fate of those fictional characters on the Internets.

Was it a remarkable co-inky-dink or symbolism that one high school in Scranton Pa, for their class trip, went to New York City and saw “Pollyanna” at the Radio City Music Hall”?

For the class of 1961, it was just like Bill Graham would put it a bit later in time: “Ladies and gentlemen; it’s all about to happen!” Back then, the Nostalgia craze wouldn’t start until Susan Suntag’s essay “Notes on Camp” got published.

By the time the class of 1961 would celebrate the tenth anniversary of their graduation, America would make numerous cultural changes. The Beatles would erase Duane Eddy from the position of favorite guitarist. The Ford Motor Company would produce the first Mustang (and Carol Shelby would work his magic on them). Folks would also learn the geography lesson that answered the question: “Where the hell is Vietnam?”

When the class of 1961 entered high school in the Fall of 1957, one of the Dorsey brothers would release the last Big Band hit, “So Rare.” By the time they graduated, “On the Road” had been reprinted in a paperback edition and coffee house poetry was all the rage. The adults were very alarmed that the beatnik lifestyle seemed to have a hypnotic appeal to the youngsters who wanted to be “hep.” Hep became hip and that generation embraced all sorts of aberrant behavior that didn’t sit well with true Americans such as those who lived in Muskogee.

In the Fall of 1963, Capital Records, in Hollywood, handed out 3,000 layoff notices to the folks in Scranton working at the record pressing plant because record sales were in a slump. The layoffs were to take effect the day after Thanksgiving. While the nation mourned the assassination of its young President, the layoff notices were rescinded on the Monday before Thanksgiving because of a music phenomenon that was spreading like a highly contagious disease. It was called “Beatlemania.”

Rock and Roll was battling to replace the folk songs that dominated the pop music charts. Eventually, Rock got it very own separate chart and Fats Domino shared it with newer, younger musicians.

Tail fins on cars had reached their high water mark with the 1959 Cadillac. At one point the J. C. Whitney catalogue offered champagne glasses made from the distinctively shaped ’59 Caddy bullet style tail lights.

While getting America from the Marshall Program to the Bush Doctrine, patriots would come to realize that charity is permissible only if it also functions as a bribe or is part of an extortion plan.

If a person graduated from high school in 1961 and proceeded directly on to a four year college, he would graduate just in time to see President Johnson, in June of 1965, send several (was it six or eight?) Marine Divisions to Vietnam to straighten out that mess (it was well understood that they would be home in time for Christmas).

In 1961, all was well. The World’s Laziest Journalist knows of one member of the class of 1961, who joined the Navy, was assigned to a destroyer that circled the globe, came back home to Scranton and declined all additional opportunities to travel. “I’ve been around the world. I like Scranton. Why would I want to leave?”

Soldiers from Scranton, in the 28th Division’s 109th Regiment, had fought at the battle of the bulge and so America was determined to make sure that those war atrocities, such as the ones that Germany had committed during World War II, would never again be permitted in the world that was beckoning to the eager and enthusiastic members of the class of 1961.

The world in 1961 wasn’t perfect. The designers at Chevrolet were trying to develop a coupe model for the popular Corvette roadster. America didn’t need a Desoto car. TV would be better in “living color.” Pan Am, Eastern Airlines (“The wings of man”) and TWA stood ready to fly America’s youth to places where they could face the “Europe on $5 a day” challenge.

Americans didn’t have to buy a WMCA t-shirt to know that they were one of a special breed. Who didn’t want a T-shirt that proclaimed that the wearer was a “Good Guy”?

Wasn’t “The Ugly American” a Commie propaganda ruse? Didn’t the East German authorities have to build a wall to hold back their young people with curiosity about freedom?

The graduates who got married and started having kids didn’t have to worry about the draft. The guys who went on to college did. Did the lamestream media do feature stories about the last guy to be drafted? Who was it? Lord knows the lamestream sure did cover the story when Elvis got drafted and when Cascius Clay turned down his draft board’s invitation. When Elvis left the Army, there was a TV special on which Frank Sinatra welcomed Elvis back home.

There was one TV special (was it part of Ford’s 50th anniversary celebration?) that featured the best science based predictions for the future. As we recall it, that program predicted that newspapers would deliver their stories directly into homes via a machine that was a combination of calculator, telephone, TV set, and printing press.

Back in 1961 the icon of the American Dream was expressed in visual terms by a home with a white picket fence around it. That house has been seized by the foreclosure process. The lefties who are losing their homes think that Sarah Palin is dumb. How did they come to that conclusion? On January 20, 1961, John F. Kennedy, in his Inaugural address, said: “If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.”

The disk jockey went to the Flying Dutchman’s web site for a list of the hits from 1961. He culled out: “Big Bad John,” “Wonderland by Night,” and “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

We have to go put some dead flowers on a friend’s grave. Have a “The torch is passed to a new generation” type week.

News Flash! It’s a MIRACLE!

Filed under: Toon,Uncategorized — Ye Olde Scribe @ 6:24 am

Arrogant baby with malformed head gives birth to smarter arrogant baby with malformed head


Staff members, and even his new born son, quit campaign in disgust. “I didn’t pop outta this man’s huge a-hole just to become a loser. But I do share his interest in world domination,” Stewie said. He has been rumored to be searching for his mother, saying, “How do I know which one of the millions the fat headed one has screwed to kill?”

June 9, 2011

RNC Putz Preibus’ Hypocrisy on Weiner


June 7, 2011

Anthony Weiner: What Was He Thinking?

Filed under: Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 5:13 am


June 6, 2011

Should Dems let an impeachable offense slide?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:13 pm

President Obama’s propensity for inept bungling has delivered a no-win choice of profound importance to the Democratic Party’s doorstep. After delivering a rebuke to Obama on Friday for his aggressive policy towards Libya, the Democrats can either take it to the next logical level by impeaching Obama or they can ignore the President’s failure to abide by the War Powers Act and thereby affirm the Bush Administration policy that the Constitution had become obsolete and irrelevant to America.

Has President Obama become the first Nobel Peace Prize winner to be subject to arrest in The Hague for war crimes? We dare him to go there and prove us wrong.

President Obama’s rash decision to oust Col. Qaddafi may have provided the Republicans with an opportunity to make their dream scenario of Impeaching America’s first President of Pan-african heritage come true.

If President Bush’s invasion of Iraq was an impeachable offense, the Democrats can now either move to impeach Obama for ignoring the War Powers Act or they can, by letting a second blatant violation of the law slide past, scrap that inconvenient part of the Constitution.

If Obama failed to get the Congressional approval necessary for the attempt to intervene in Libya’s internal affairs, then it would seem logical that he must be impeached for such a flagrant violation of his oath of office. If the Bush program of using Presidential authority to violate the Constitution and order troops into battle has replaced the method specifically established in the Constitution, then the question of immediate concern becomes: When will the Republicans make the determination of what other parts of the Constitution have also become outdated?

The Republicans, to participate in a move to impeach Obama, would have to completely ignore the fact that George W. Bush set the precedence with the invasion of Iraq and, like a woman with an “A” brand on her forehead giving a speech urging chastity, blithely make the case for the immediate impeachment of the President who has ignored the Constitution and the law of the land.

Such a brazen move would seem to be a bit hypocritical, but, in the past, the Republicans have never let a trivial matter such as blatant hypocrisy inhibit their efforts, so why should they suddenly let scruples hinder their program now?

Lefties and Progressives have always asserted that the Republicans were sanctimonious hypocrites so why should the party of “don’t do as I do; do as I say” stop inches short of the goal line just because of the threat of a bit of name-calling? Didn’t their mothers teach them the axiom about sticks and stones?

The World’s Laziest Journalist has speculated during the George W. Bush “lame duck” period about how long it would take the Republicans to find a basis for moving to impeach the (then) President-elect. Expecting Republicans to let a chance to make their dreams come true pass as a show of good sportsmanship may be a tad overly optimistic.

If the Republicans moved at a slow deliberate pace, they could spend all summer besmirching the President, and then make their move in the Fall.

If they were successful, my former classmate (in first and second grade), Joe Biden, would be sworn in and immediately have to contend with rebuilding the Democratic Party brand while (presumably) running his own reelection campaign and competing in the various primary elections in early 2012, while simultaneously conducting the business of day to day politics as usual.

If they failed to get Obama impeached, he would then have to fight to improve his image of being a Bush family clone, while raising funds for his own reelection, and contending with the various primary elections, which usually are not a high priority activity for a sitting President.

His critics on the Fox Network would be relentless in their unfair and biased condemnation of him for doing what George W. Bush had previously done. Obviously such heavy-handed punditry would generate some “sympathy backlash,” which would benefit Obama, but since most folks are reluctant (especially if they are not of Irish heritage) to assert an unpopular opinion, the majority of the country would be in a mood to treat the President very harshly.

The word temerity (which has the ironical meaning of being “ballsy”) would be bandied about recklessly if the Republicans did try to impeach Obama for doing that which George W. Bush had previously done, but that would be countered by the folk axiom that “Nature favors the brave.” Foreigner Rupert Murdock would make damn sure that Americans were continually assaulted by “pro-impeachment” partisan punditry.

Democrats who feared being tainted by an association with a President facing both reelection and immanent impeachment, would get very tired of hearing Fox talking heads tell the joke in which the Lone Ranger says to Tonto: “Look at all those Indians, Tonto, we’re in a very untenable strategic position!” (or words to that effect.)

Will Uncle Rushbo (will both he and Mike Malloy read this column?) be reluctant to gush about the vulnerability of Obama for impeachment proceedings or will he perceive it as an opportunity to be a leader of the de facto lynch mob?

Progressive bloggers will be reluctant to mention Obama’s vulnerability because they will not want to take the chance that they have inadvertently opened Republican eyes to a gambit they had not already noted. (Karl Rove enthusiastically encourages all underestimations of his cunning and shrewdness. [You don’t believe that? Just ask him if the World’s Laziest Journalist has him pegged with complete accuracy. Go ahead. We dare you to ask him. {He will probably deny knowing me.}])

Cynical columnists, who delight in venturing into taboo territory, might write a spoiler column about this opening for a possible Republican strategy. Any such renegade pundit would probably get more Democratic appreciation if they just inject obscure and esoteric cultural minutiae into their efforts. Such as?

Up until Thursday, June 2, 2011, this columnist had never heard of the writer from Dublin named Charles Lever. On that day we betook ourselves to the location in Berkeley CA which is our secret source of pop cultural delights and bought four books:
Bernard Shaw’s “Major Barbara,” H. G. Wells’ “Tono-Bungay,” Hesketh Pearson’s “Oscar Wilde His Life and Wit,” and Robert L. Heilbroner’s “ The Worldly Philosophers.” We purchase all four for less than a quarter of a dollar.

Two of the books, Pearson’s and Shaw’s, mentioned the Irish writer named Charles Lever. We consulted “The Penguin Companion to English Literature,” edited by David Daiches, and learned about the existence of a 34 volume collection of his work or a 37 volume collection edited by Lever’s daughter.

The four books contained enough raw materials for about a thousand columns in the Life-Arts field.

However, on Friday June 3, 2011, a friend lent us a copy of Douglas Brinkley’s “The Majic Bus,” and since we are very enthusiastic about road books we will have to read that one.

Then we went for a walk and stumbled across a bargain bin copy of Donald L. Miller’s “Masters of the Air,” and since we have a mystical connection to B-17 bombers from WWII, we will have to read every word of that book before writing a review.

That night we finished watching a VHS tape of “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” and realized there was enough new material in that old film for several columns. The year 1939 is considered by some critics to have been Hollywood’s Halcyon Year and Mr. Smith was nominated for 11 Oscars™. The theme of an honest man fighting a political machine backed by media ownership, might have some relevance for non Fox-addicted political thinkers. The idea that patriotic idealism is preferable to greed and bribery might be worth a column.

Form follows function as any fan of architecture knows so it’s obvious why today’s bloggers are flocking to the “thee dot journalism” style of column writing.

In Atlas shrugged, Ayn S. Rand wrote: “You who prattle that morality is social and that man would need no morality on a desert island – it is on a desert island that he would need it most. Let him try to claim . . . that a rock is a home . . . reality will wipe him out . . . .” Slyly injecting a problem in semantics into a discussion about morality might fool some Democrats (in an Irish pub?) but teabaggers won’t let such a blatant verbal equivalent of thee card Monty chicanery slid by unchallenged.

Perhaps we should do a column about Ms. Rand’s use of poor logic to confuse the audience? Maybe we could slip some references to James Norman Hall’s novel, “Lost Island,” into the discussion of morality on remote Pacific atolls? Maybe we could couch this debate in a column about the Tiki sub-culture in America? Then again applying the rules of logic to the words of Ayn S. Rand would, as far as her fanatical supporters are concerned, be as futile as trying to pick the fly’s excrement out of the salad. Why didn’t she use “Triumph of the Will” as the title for her book about John Gault?

Didn’t Ms. Rand use her middle name of Sally while performing a bawdy Vaudeville act before her first book was published?

We have just exceeded our self imposed “three e-takes” limit and so we will call the disk jockey in from the bullpen and he will play Jerry Lee Lewis’ “Great Balls of Fire,” “It’s All the Same” (from “Man of La Mancha”), and Lynn Anderson’s “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.” (Making promises in the Rose Garden isn’t the same thing?)

We have to go buy some more bargain used books. Have an “I, Don Quixote” type week.

June 4, 2011

Dead: My safe and secure future

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Jane Stillwater @ 12:27 pm

I just went camping up near Yosemite and nearly froze my [bottom] off there, spending three whole days huddled under multiple sleeping bags and madly wishing that I was back home.

“This has been the worst winter that I can ever remember,” said one old-timer we met up near Groveland. “Snowdrifts piled up higher than the barn and then we got an additional 55 inches of rain after that.” And it’s still raining here. And it’s wet. And it’s cold. “Climate change?” Ya think!

Climate change is turning out to be the biggest issue of my lifetime — even bigger than World War II. And it’s the biggest issue of your lifetime too, like it or not.

If every single car, truck, airplane and military vehicle in the world that uses gas, coal or electricity for fuel were to stop running completely and forever by midnight tonight, then perhaps we might stand a chance of, er, “weathering” out climate change.

But you and I both know that abandoning the world’s love affair with carbon emissions just ain’t gonna happen.

When Chris Hedges recently interviewed environmental expert Bill McKibben, McKibben stated that, “…the scale of change we are now talking about is so great that no one can adapt to it. Temperatures have gone up one degree so far and that has been enough to melt the Arctic. If we let it go up three or four degrees, the rule of thumb the agronomists go by is every degree Celsius of temperature rise represents about a 10 percent reduction in grain yields. If we let it go up three or four degrees we are really not talking about a planet that can support a civilization anything like the one we’ve got.”

But let’s forget about climate change for the moment and move on to another dreary subject — the Federal Reserve Bank. While I wasn’t busy huddled miserably inside of my soggy blankets next to the raging Toulumne River last weekend, I was out searching for gold. This area around Highway 120 is a part of California’s fabulous Mother Lode — which produced 50 million dollars worth of quality ore just between 1848 and 1852, during the space of only four short years.

If I too could find just a few big chunks of gold up here, then I would never have to rely on those rascally thieves at the Federal Reserve Bank and their phony printed money ever again.

Did you know that the State of Utah just passed a law designating gold as being legal tender as well as an investment asset? This means that if you spend your gold coins in Utah, you won’t get hit with any state capital gains tax.

According to International Business Times, “[Utah's] Legal Tender Act of 2011 allows U.S. minted gold and silver coins to be recognized as legal tender in the value that reflects the market price for gold and silver.” So by encouraging the use of gold and silver as well as paper money, Utah is trying to make sure that when the Federal Reserve’s money-bubble inevitably bursts, at least one state will be relatively safe from the fall-out. And if I can only lay my hands on a few shiny nuggets up here on the Tuolumne River, then I will be too!

So. What is the moral here? “If folks stopped driving cars, causing no climate change nightmares to happen, and I had no dependence on the Federal Reserve, then my whole future would be safe and secure”? Sure, why not. But then my whole future is already all safe and secure anyway — no matter what happens to our economy or to our planet.

“Why is that, Jane?” you might ask.

“Because sooner or later, we’re all gonna die. And Death is the great leveler. After you’re dead, then nothing else matters. Can’t get much more safer and secure than that!”

“But, Jane,” you might reply, “aren’t you being really rather pessimistic today?” Yeah. But since stopping climate change is apparently not an option and our so-called leaders are happily continuing to rape the economic future of our children, do I really have any other reliable choice?

PS: After I’m dead, I plan to spend my winters in Puerto Vallarta on the beach getting warm again, and spend the rest of the year eating hot caramel sundaes at Fentons and gourmet dinners at Chez Panisse — because when you’re dead, you can’t contract diabetes or put on any weight. And I also plan to haunt the halls or Congress and Wall Street, crying, “Shame! Shame on all of you! You coulda done something to save the planet and you didn’t.”

PPS: As long as I’m being completely pessimistic, here’s another amazingly sad fact that I just learned from a local health department official. Did you know that if Americans continue to eat in the future in the same manner that they are eating now, children born after the year 2000 will become the very first generation EVER to die off before their parents do. Yes, you read that right. Chances are really good that your kids are gonna be buried in their graves before you are.

And it will be us at the cemetery, mournfully placing flowers on our dead children’s graves — instead of the other way around.

The average American eats a half pound of sugar and/or high-fructose corn syrup per day — and that statistic even includes averaging in all of us health-conscious types who honestly try to resist the sugar temptation. A half-pound of sugar a day per person? Yikes! This means that one in three children born since 2000 will succumb to diabetes. And it also means that, as gross obesity becomes more and more common, a whole big segment of the next generation will be falling prey to heart disease, stroke, liver and kidney failure, whatever — and dying like flies.

That is, if climate change and the Federal Reserve Bank doesn’t do them in first.

PPPS: Here’s some good news for a change: After having been closed for remodeling since February, Ashby Nails is open again! According to traditional Chinese medicine, every season has a color that goes with it, so now my toenails are all sparkly and GREEN. I am so totally chic now, you’d better believe it. Thanks again, Kim.


The Republican Budget: Death in Small Doses

Filed under: Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 10:57 am


June 3, 2011

Ye Olde Scribe Presents: All the News that’s NOT the News

Filed under: Commentary,Quote — Ye Olde Scribe @ 7:42 pm

Once Achmed died, for a brief while, there was a new #2. Picture courtesy

Once Achmed died, for a brief while, there was a new #2. Picture courtesy

Pakistan, June 6, 2011- Pakistan officials officially protested the killing of Osama bin Laden today at the UN. The envoy for the Pakistan government, Moe Hamhan Dedman, who is also corporate envoy for Project for the New American Century, Halliburton and the Koch brothers, told the UN, “We have lost a valuable asset and a loyal Bush family employee. Not just a great community organizer, but organizer for events world wide. We expect restitution for this devastating loss.”

Mr. Dedman, a rather heavy man: almost 400lbs, cried out for world wide protests from end times-like-minded Islamic and Christian Fundamentalists, suggesting the Taliban be a buffer between the two, claiming, “Heads will roll!” Some compared that “cry” to the sound of a “hideously fat baby.” Mr. Dedman also declared a “FATWAH.”

Meanwhile officials from the town of Abbottabad were demanding they be given all the money from American welfare programs. They brought up the demands of another former, now deceased, once beloved, citizen of Abbottabad.

That’s how extortionists roll

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:33 pm

The American Heritage Dictionary says that one meaning for the word extortion is “the criminal offense of using one’s official position or powers to obtain property, funds, or patronage to which one is not entitled.” It can also mean “the exaction of an exorbitant price.” No nationally known and respected political pundits are using that word to describe the political maneuvering that the Republicans are using to get the Democrats to agree to some harsh budget cuts. One or two radical bloggers who are jealous of the media attention given to the nobility of journalism, such as Bart the Bright, might bandy that word about recklessly in the hopes of landing a guest expert gig on a fair and balanced political TV debate program, but such rogues would also be prone to be card carrying members of the Associated Secret Society of Konspiracy Investigation Scholars and Students (You figure out their acronym) and the transparency of their grandstanding attempt would be apparent.

The National Lampoon magazine cover that depicted a cowering dog with a gun aimed at his head had the headline: “Buy this magazine or we’ll shoot the dog!” That was a funny example of extortion but to use that word with regard to what the Republicans are doing is reprehensible.

Is it extortion if the threat of reprisals is only implied? At this point, the Democrats have to ask themselves one more question: “Do I feel lucky?”

Is the military action against Libya listed as an active “war”? In all the excitement of the Arab Spring, we’ve kinda lost track of the exact count. Is it two or thee active wars?

The Scientists have learned how to manipulate the media to their own advantage by using polar bears (Ursis Maritimus) to extort alarmist reactions from the journalists and now they are doubling down with a crazy story about cell phones causing sterility in human males. Really? “Don’t worry, baby, we won’t need a condom because we are protected by my constant cell phone use!”?

Recently Karl Rove was a guest on Shaun Hannity’s radio program and when he was asked to evaluate all the Republicans trying to become their party’s next Presidential candidate, he forgot JEB Bush. Rove has worked for the Bush family since 1973 and he forgot JEB. How come journalists think Rove is a master of political strategy if he can forget JEB? . . . Say, you don’t think that was what the real political pundits call a “ploy,” do ya?

As the 2011 anniversary of D-Day approaches, the USA’s population of homeless is growing even as the number of empty homes that have been foreclosed increases rapidly.

When President Obama said that the bombing of Libya to protect its citizens from a ruthless leader wouldn’t last for days or weeks, was he trying to say that he knew then that it would take months?

If the part of the Constitution that says that Congress must vote to approve any new wars is obsolete, what other parts of that document are no longer viable?

What ever happened to the news reports from the folks who started releasing information about radiation levels in the USA following the nuclear disaster in Japan? Would it be accurate to make a snide reference to “Gone With The Wind,” if the prevailing weather patterns might actually be increasing the amount of atomic fallout?

Speaking of the all time greatest movies, has any political pundit pointed out the window of opportunity for a sequel to “The Blob”? The monster is flown to the artic and put in a de facto state of suspended animation. The victims agree that they will have no worries “as long as the Artic stays cold.” This columnist has been told that there is at least one palm tree living (in retirement?) in Paris (France, not Texas).

The residual good will generated by the American led efforts to liberate Europe in WWII, is rapidly diminishing. Could it be compared to a melting snowman?

Are America’s claims to being “the Good Guys” perceived in The Hague much like the spectacle of an old woman traipsing down Main Street in scanty attire?

Wouldn’t being a paid staff member of an American news organization stationed in The Hague be an example of a sinecure? (Note: being a lazy journalist requires doing some work; doing none at all disqualifies a person from competing in any lazy journalism competition.) Was using a story that warned an American that he would be arrested if he showed up in Switzerland for a speaking engagement an example of journalism or a tip-off? What is President Obama’s status as far as a visit to The Hague is concerned? If you don’t know, then we rest our case.

Speaking of Freedom of the Press and the Normandy Invasion, did you know that there was one printing plant that transitioned from printing Wehrmacht to producing the Paris edition of YANK? We culled that tidbit of information from the Introduction to “The Best from YANK the Army Weekly” (E. P. Dutton & Co. hardback 1945)

The American TV program “Boston Legal” used to feature some eloquent oratory that questioned the wisdom of America’s invasion of Iraq. What ever happened to that program? We liked the traditional “balcony time” closing sequences.

On Memorial Day, the morning shift DJ on KALX threw an excerpt from President St. Ronald Reagan’s first Inaugural Address into the mix. He thoroughly denounced deficit spending before he started doing just that. The Republicans made fun of Senator John Kerry for “flip-flopping.” It’s only bad when a Democrat does it. Double standards can be so convenient. Life is so much easier when your theology is extrapolated from the novels of Ayn S. Rand.

On Thursday, June 2, 2011, liberal talk show host Mike Malloy was aghast at the fact that folks from the Food Not Bombs organization had been arrested in Orland Florida for feeding the homeless. To him, there was a massive amount of irony involved in compassionate conservative Christians passing the law that was broken.

Malloy has made references to George Orwell’s novel, 1984, but he has obviously failed to master the basic concept of double think. Mike, baby, when ya going to learn? If thine enemy strikes thee, turn the other cheek . . . then commit war crimes!

Ayn S. Rand, in Atlas Shrugged (was Atlas a nihilist?), wrote: “Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seeks nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions.” Didn’t Capt. Queeg use logic to prove conclusively that there was another key?

If you don’t think that arresting people who think they are Jesus doing the loaves and fishes routine isn’t a rational move to protect the public interest, then there’s no hope for you. Hunger is eternal. Is there a final solution to the problem of hungry homeless people? Isn’t removing the symptoms (from view) the same as curing the disease?

Now the disk jockey will play: “Faithful Forever,” “I Poured My Heart into a Song,” “Over the Rainbow,” and “Wishing” (all of which were nominated for the Best Song Oscar™ in 1939). We have to go use the time machine to buy some Tono-Bungay. Have a “Fred C. Dobbs don’t say nothin’ he don’t mean” type week.

Palin and Bachmann in ‘Depraved Romance’


June 1, 2011

Paul Ryan’s Sociopath to Prosperity


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