BartBlog

Ye Olde Scribe’s News Report
“Because the Right Wing owned media won’t tell you, Scribe will.”

CBS, NBC and ABC this morning reported that New Orleans is flooded… AGAIN, and right after that they reported on Junior wanting another 46 billion to flush down the Iraq toilet. Wasn’t there supposed to be “money in the pipeline for New Orleans?” What, no funds to at least minimize the effect of flooding in a city below sea level? Is getting some citizens so pissed off they’re willing to take any action against the forces of brutal conquest so important that exploding innocent mothers and their babies doesn’t matter? Where IS the ever loud mouthed, foul mouthed crowd that calls themselves “Pro-Life?” Well, at least for the boy-King, Saint Junior, Scribe gets it: more corpses in Iraq, more in New Orleans. Double his pleasure, double his sadistic fun.

Now, Ye Olde Scribe offers a rather dark adventure called…

Juniorland, USA- the Amusement Park  

Junior and Biggus Dickus are exploring their new purchase: an amusement park.Filled with carousels, many a wild mouse, more Ferris wheels than one can count: Ye Olde Scribe reveals to you: Juniorland, an amusement park designed especially for Junior; kind of like Eric Cartman when he bought his own amusement park, only this park is only for Junior and his fellow Neo-Cons.What is it mostly built upon? Slander, lies, threats and strawmen
accusations.Junior has just left a wildass, mangy cat, ride, designed by that “rabid pussy with an Adams apple,” otherwise known as “Ann Coulter.” The entrance to the ride has a quote on it…

My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.

Uncle Biggus Dickus is holding his hand.

“That was so much fun! They even supplied cherry bombs for us to drop on innocent citizens, like the ones in the building where that Lib paper, The Times, that toothpick Annie would love to kill! I wanna go on another ride! I wanna go on another ride! I wanna go on another ride! I wanna go on another ride…”

The ride closest to them has this inscribed on the entrance…

The truth is that… (Junior)… just likes to blow things up. In Iraq, in the United States and in Congress.

-Pete Stark

“No that’s scary! Deys people have too much freedum. Shudn’t say such dings. Let’s twy another.”

They go on to the next one, a carousel where all but one “ride” has swamp water stream dumped on it as the carousel moves. There’s a slogan embossed on the ride…

And I think there should be no mercy shown to these sub-humans. I believe that a thousand of them should be killed tomorrow. I think a thousand of them held in the Iraqi prison should be given 24 hour — a trial and executed.

-The BIG Savage Weiner, who also claimed we need more abuse of prisoners.

“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Junior exclaims, as he rides on the back of a naked prisoner.

“Next time I wanna ride the water boarded horsie!”

 Junior’s “horsie” is a prisoner tied to a seesaw like board.

“Yes, Junior, we can do that. It’s our park after all. We bought it, just like your Daddy Dearest helped us buy the Supremes in 00,” sayeth Biggus Dicketh. Suddenly Junior hides behind the skirt Biggus is wearing. Dickus bought it long ago to use as yet another excuse to keep his ass out of the military during Nam. It KLINGERS to him awkwardly. (As he does, “The Mash, Mash, Mash… the Monster Mash, Mash…” Oops, Scribe got caught up in song.)

“That ride sccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrres me!”

Quote on the entrance…

“What are you going to do for that 200 or 300 billion bucks, folks, that you’re spending to kill these kids when they grow up? You can’t answer that, can you?” he said.

-Pete Stark

Biggus whips out his gun and aims at the carnie operating the ride. No, not THAT “gun:” THAT “gun” is tiny. It’s a shotgun, silly. Why do you think he NEEDS a shotgun, other than to try to kill people from his own party on hunting trips? That’s right, to prove how BIG a “man” he is. Biggus mutters to himself, “Later.” They walk on.

“Lookie Unkie Biggus, a super duper pooper scooper water park ride… called Da City of New Orleans. Let’s go on the ride wid da big banner saying…”

“I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn’t have rescued them.”

-the old 24/7 SPINster himself… O’Lielly

(Pause for song… “Ridin on the City of New Orleans, Illinois Central Monday mornin rain…” Scribe will miss that songwriter. He sure WAS a Good… man…) he… he… he.

After they got off, the only passengers still dry, they pointed and laughed as, yet again, corpses were pulled out of the water that literally drowned. Many were stuck in the other seats and couldn’t get out: like the residents during Katrina waiting for the buses Junior’s appointees promised. Junior, of course, as always, was protected.

“Makes me dink of my first free rides, Vietnam and the National Guard.”

“That’s what the park is here for Junior, us and everyone who agrees with us. The rest get the blame.”

Junior screams and runs behind a BUSH. The sign above the next ride reads…

“You don’t have money to fund the war or children, but you’re going to spend it to blow up innocent people if we can get enough kids to grow old enough for you to send to Iraq to get their heads blown off for the president’s amusement.”

-Pete Stark

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! The mean bully doesn’t want me to have fun any more.”

“Don’t worry Junior. The media won’t cover him except to comment on how harsh his words are. Soon all the old; politically incorrect rhetorical rides will be gone, and only we will be allowed to say nasty, over the top, mean spirited things.”

“Oh, unkie, you’re so good to me…”

“Now let me dry those eyes. We have the biggest, most rotund ride up ahead, the Lush Dimbulb.”

“Goodie! Do they have Oxycontin samples after the ride like last year? Will he fondle me again? Or do I get to watch? Oh, boy, goodie gum drops. And then where do we go after dat?”

“Ye, I believe they do. And after that we’ll go to The Jeff Gannon Cannon: vibrator shaped carts that ride through tunnels shaped like Uncle Sam’s ass.”

“Oh, Boyeeeeeeeeee! I never need a nap when cornholing Unkie Sam with his wrists tied, a gag on his mouth, phone tapped…”

And King Junior had a very good day because, soon, all the “bad” rides would be gone. Uncle Biggus tucked him into bed and read Junior his favorite book once again…

Translated, the title reads, “How I ‘United’ My People,” by Prince Vlad. And the little boy-King fell fast asleep… unlike those he gives nightmares to who fall asleep slowly: if at all.. and he dreamed of stakes for everyone who dared to question him. And NO, Scribe didn’t mean to type “steaks.”