Spike Lee Admits Cain Candidacy a Hoax for New ‘Mockumentary’ Film
Alan Smithee
Film Reviewer
Toronto Post and Mail
Oct. 21, 2011EXCLUSIVE
“I can’t believe it,” a grinning Spike Lee told this reporter yesterday, relaxing in the lounge of the Nikko Hotel’s Star Bar in downtown Toronto. “We thought we might get some media coverage, but not that Herman would get this far!”
In a stunning revelation, the famed American writer/director of such classic hit comedies as “Do the Right Thing,” and “She’s Gotta Have It,” and more serious films such as “Malcolm X” and “Mo’ Better Blues,” explained that he had hired an actor named Grey Goodwin to ‘portray’ Herman Cain for a political mockumentary he’s making with the working title, “Citizen Cain,” about a buffoonish African-American who campaigns for the U.S. presidency as a conservative Republican.
“Man, I just thought we’d get some footage of this cat talking to Republican voters and like that,” Mr. Lee elaborated, “but I never, in my wildest dreams, thought he’d get into these debates or anything.”
According to the writer/director, there is a real Herman Cain, a pizza chain executive, but he’s on a secluded vacation with his family in Switzerland until December. Mr. Lee said that the real Herman Cain is a fan of his films and agreed to go along with the hoax when Mr. Lee presented the idea to him last year.
“See, then I went out and found me a cat who looks and talks like the real Herman Cain to play him in the film, and that wasn’t easy, but we knocked it.”
Mr. Lee went on to say that all of the ‘Goodwin/Cain’s’ policies and speeches have been written by him. “Grey, he’s just such a damn great actor, he really knocked it out of the park on this role,” adding ruefully, “Have you noticed nobody is really getting down and calling Cain out for his ridiculous positions that don’t make no sense? I could probably have him say he’s gonna make a law that we’ll have sunny skies 365 days a year and they’d buy that, too!”
But Mr. Lee was troubled with the success of his hoax, “See, we put this scam over on the Republican voters and the Republican Party, but what really worries me is that so many media people bought it. Now we got Grey’s fake Cain leading Romney in the polls. Can you dig on that s–t?”
Mr. Lee said when he returns to New York next week, he’s going to call a press conference to reveal the hoax, and expects his mockumentary to be finished and released before the American elections in November of 2012. “I may have to go into hiding after this joint,” Mr. Lee said jokingly, ending our interview.
He is expected to accept the Durward Kirby Adult Film Award tomorrow night at Macduff University’s Malcolm Hall North Annex in Southeast Westlake Park.
This is satire, BTW.
Copyright 2011 RS Janes
www.fishink.us
Drat,
I knew it was too good to be true. When Cain went off on apples & oranges, I thought it couldn’t be true. I’d tuned in Onion instead.
State taxes on everything you buy, that’s an apple. A Federal tax on everything you buy, that’s an orange. And you can’t compare apples & oranges.
Comment by db — October 21, 2011 @ 2:39 pm
LOL, db, yes, the apples and oranges thing was rich and now he’s changed 9-9-9 to 9-0-9 for the poor. Cain explains that if you’re really poor, you won’t pay the 9% federal income tax, but you’ll still pay the 9% federal sales tax. Isn’t that a relief?
Comment by RS Janes — October 21, 2011 @ 6:22 pm
RS,
I hadn’t heard about the 9-9/0-9 plan. Or is that the 0-0-9 plan, a license to make people broke?
The huge problem with the “flat tax” plans, in whatever guise, is that the exempt unearned income, i.e. dividends & capital gains. There’s a web site, which I unfortunately can’t remember right now, which goes into all the holes in the plan. Do you have exemptions for the number of children? Do you have exemptions for the elderly (over 65) & Blind? Do you allow for “work-related expenses”?
I’m surprised that the “flat tax” idea keeps getting trotted out.
Comment by db — October 22, 2011 @ 6:40 am
db, I heard on the radio that Cain’s Plan 999 From Outer Space would junk the old tax code entirely and everyone would pay the 9 percent fed tax, no matter how many kids you had. BTW, those who earn money from capital gains (mainly the 1 percent) would pay NO taxes on that income. It wasn’t explained why people living off capital gains would not be taxed while someone with a salary would, but Cain guarantees it’s all fair. Of ccourse, he’s sunk now — he said something sane about abortion and it was caught on videotape. He desperately tried to walk it back, but, to the crazy GOP Base, he might as well have admitted to having a gay affair with Mitt Romney. I think he’ll probably be joining Bachmann in the polling basement in mid-November.
Comment by RS Janes — October 23, 2011 @ 10:17 am
Thank you very march From the perspective Horse Scenes Painting of day-to-day life into <a
Comment by feng123 — October 24, 2011 @ 2:02 am
Hey RS,
First off, I think “feng” is spamming you.
Capital Gains & Dividends always have been the hole in the “flat tax’ system they’re trying to slip past you. It sounds great until you get to the details. That’s why I’m so in favor of exploring the details & not stopping with a simple apples & oranges argument.
The abortion issue splits the Republicans right across the cultural/economic seam. On one hand the Cultural Conservatives believe that life begins at conception & abortion is therefore murder. On the other hand the Economic Conservatives believe in “small government” or the Libertarians, no government at all. Now the joke is that Republicans believe in small Government, small enough to reach into the uterus of every woman in America. But more seriously, if you are shrinking Government, and reducing it’s function, at the same time; how do you then argue to establish any effective anti-abortion position?
I see only two alternatives. 1. The Economic Conservatives are playing the Cultural Conservatives for suckers. Or 2. The Economic Conservatives are willing to establish the Law but not to provide for the enforcement. That is; Government by slogan which may actually get us back to number 1.
Comment by db — October 24, 2011 @ 4:57 am