February 27, 2013

Baby Boomers: Four funerals and a wedding…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Jane Stillwater @ 12:58 pm

A good friend of mine just passed away — and he was a Baby Boomer. Plus I know of at least three other Baby Boomers who have died during the last few months.

This whole Baby Boomer generation may be historically unique. They were all born at the same time, got jobs at the same time, had kids at the same time and retired at the same time. And will they now also be dying at the same time too? And what does all this mean? That now might be a good time to open a funeral home? (Sorry, sick joke, couldn’t resist)

Someone on the radio just mentioned that, at this point in time, there are approximately 75,000 people who are now 100 years old or older — and that many of them are still in excellent health. So maybe our Baby Boomers won’t be all dying off together after all.

And according to Dr. Mario Martinez, author of “The Mind-Body Code,” one thing that most of these 75,000 centenarians have in common is that they rarely, if ever, go see a doctor So much for giving Big Pharma kudos for keeping all these old guys alive! But I digress.

I myself had always planned to die at the age of 88 — 5,743 days from now (but who’s counting). However, given all this new information, I may even end up living forever. So. Then my next big question would be, “With all those years left to live, how can I possibly keep from being totally bored?”

Watching cable television 24/7 and taking endless trips to the mall aren’t gonna fill up my days for the next 30 or 40 years. Been there, done that already. Boring.

And I can’t just up and join the Army and go fight in the latest stupid corporate war either. The military is looking for young guys who they can brainwash into becoming trained killers, not little old pacifist me. Nor can I become an Olympic athlete or jungle explorer because I gots bad knees. But I could learn to play the violin or become the next Grandma Moses. Given 40 more years, I could do that. Or I could always write another book — or write a whole library-full for that matter.

If America is going to have millions of new 100-year-old men and women running around loose very soon, then we all need to start thinking about all the things we might be doing during all those extra years — things that will be useful, interesting and productive. We can’t just sit around in rest homes and/or bemoan the theft of our Social Security benefits for the next 30 or 40 years — or just spend all our time planning funerals.

I’m just saying.

This issue really needs to be addressed. We clearly need to start re-thinking what it means to be old.

PS: I still wanna be a war correspondent when I grow up. And, fortunately for me, the idiots who run this country are always abundantly happy to keep me supplied with an endless array of stupid wars to report on.

PPS: A 104-year-old woman just got kicked off of FaceBook for being too old! Just you wait, FB. She’s gonna be joined by a hecka lot more of us — very soon. But even then, spending 40 years updating our FaceBook pages is still no kind of life.

PPPS: Enclosed is a photo of the view out my bedroom window — as Hurricane Re-Hab gets closer and closer to the shores of my housing co-operative. On March 11, 2013, they are gonna re-hab my entire apartment — and then me and Ashley and sometimes Hugo and Mena are going to have to go live somewhere else for three weeks. DOES ANYONE IN BERKELEY NEED US TO HOUSE-SIT?!? Where’s a FEMA trailer when you need one?

PPPPS: Do we even care whether or not the current pope is gay? Except for the blatant hypocrisy of it all — all that holier-than-thou crap the Vatican issues about how women can’t be priests? Because they would foul up the “old-boys” network? No problem! Female priests could be lesbians if that would make the pope feel better.

Or has all this happened because priests aren’t allowed to get married? Perhaps if the pope had been happily united in a same-sex marriage (lavishly performed in St. Peter’s basilica with cardinals, altar boys and everyone dressed in their best), this whole weird scandal would never have happened.

Not only that but a gay pope (or even a married one) would then have additional resources to fall back on in old age, like in the movie “Amour” — yet another way to keep him (or her) from getting bored?

PPPPPS: Here’s a trailer for Jordan Rader’s new short film, “Crimson’s Kiss” — with a brief glimpse of me in it, playing a little old lady

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