Back before Waldo became a hunted corporatocracy pariah .
Is Waldo Snowden in China?
NO, that’s not Waldo, Waldo Watchers. That’s Wilma! Wilma, wife of union member Fred Flintstone who was fired for striking by Mr. Slate of Koch-Rock Industries, whored herself out to try to save Fred’s job. Since then she has been slaving away in a locked rock sorting factory that burned down. Since no doors would open she is assumed to be dead.
Of course the factory was heavily insured so Fred’s loss was Koch’s gain. Mr. Slate and Koch have managed to make the residents of Bedrock think it’s all the fault of “those damn all powerful unions.” You know: the few unions that are left, and keep compromising to hold on to jobs?
Is Waldo Snowden in Cuba?
No, that’s Woof: Waldo’s dog. Of course because there’s been a blockade of Cuba since they’re not mega- corporate friendly we’re not sure he’s there. All that we see is his tail.
They have to eat something.
Where’s Waldo Snowden?
The fascists who hired him really want to know. You see he brought to the attention of the world that two administrations cared so much for America’s safety they privatized our national security: hiring unsecure companies to kill anyone they wished during events like Katrina, build death showers for our soldiers during wars, provide little water and bad food and, in Waldo’s case, pour over the private phones calls and other communications of private citizens.
Of course they NEVER, EVER would betray their country and sell, or trade or give away such to our enemies for profit, would they?
Would they?
Would they?
Do you know where Waldo Snowden is? If you do please call 1-800-corpshill.
Don’t worry.
We won’t monitor that phone call.
Really.
Trust us.
Scribe’s Final Word
This edition of Scribe has been brought to you by Wally World. Did you know Waldo is known as “Wally” in England? Scribe didn’t. Scribe means, really, “Wally?” England? Does he have bad teeth; eat steak and kidney pie, drink warm, almost flat, beer? Does he go to the pub and fight off zombies? Is his trunk called a “boot” and his hood a “bonnet?” Does he find English maids sexy? Have sex with bulldogs, or did Winston mean something else when he kept saying “Bully!!!” Does he have big bollocks? When he was a cartoon: well he’s kind of a “cartoon” now, but you know what Scribe means, how come that cartoon wasn’t more like those LSD-driven toons the Beatles had drawn of themselves? Was it because he’s having enough problems trying not to be found and he doesn’t need another bad TRIP?
Can someone go ask him, or does Scribe have to keep asking questions?