Where Have All the Liberal Pundits Gone? …
By Bob Patterson as told to Belle Starr, Outlawyer
Money is the mother’s milk of politics, no one disputes that. Almost all of the money donated to Republican political funds will be spent for ads run in conservatively owned media – hence there is an unlimited amount of money to pay for eloquent quality conservative punditry.
To make liberal punditry pay, writers are encouraged to go to Shattuck Ave in Berkeley and hold up a cardboard sign saying “Will write liberal political punditry for $$$$$.” (Or, “Will Run for Mayor, Need Campaign Funds”).
… what makes the worldslaziestjournalist think he can have unique perceptive comments that the other members of the punditry community missed completely, we ask the question: Did any national pundit review Jeb’s tax return and extract a news nugget from there about his involvement in the Broward S&L scandal?
… according to a recent newstip, Google is on a real estate buying binge in the Venice Beach area. Apparently, the silicon beach phenomenon will be bolstered by these acquisitions.
After being sent to the penalty box (aka the hospital), it seems natural that my visitors want to discuss political events and the latest news tips from Fort Zint. (Where they were delighted to hear that The Donald wants in on the Post Office action-particularly Washington, D.C.)
When Jane Stillwater came to visit, since our column writing efforts have bogged down (my lawyer is lousy at keeping up with dictation), we gave Jane the topic tip of Orphanages for Profit.
According to a tip we got, orphanages for profit are rapidly becoming a hot topic in the liberal community. It is alleged that the children of homeless mothers are being placed in facilities that are approximately orphanages for profit. Jane recently worked as an extra in a movie about an orphan struggling to regain her family history and heritage. So, Jane has a good hook for a column on that topic.
(Tip to columnist intern: Pitch a story to the National Review because they are the only one taking pitches publicly).
At abut the same time Belle Starr, a column-assistant, is doing ok as my gopher and some day may make it if I keep salting the bird’s tail. The Mayoral campaign is heating up and it looks like another great chapter in San Francisco historically different characters is being written by the moving fickle finger of fate.
(Sidebar: Belle Starr (OccupySF Legal Counsel by Consensus since 2011, is supporting the “face of Occupy” Scott Olsen, Iraq vet put in the hospital by Oakland PD, and who is running for KPFA public radio board to rescue us from the actions of the “..current board majority to break up or privatize the network”.)
Belle is an OH – Original Hippie and mentioned that at a recent reunion of charter members of the flower children, one blurted out that a film based on Bill “Legendary Rock Entrepreneur” Graham should be made. We second the motion.
Belle and Jane have a treasure trove of memories from the sixties and since that is an extremely popular topic we will list suggestions for our readers who want to time-travel , via literature, back to the psychedelic sixties. Katy bar the door.
We would list these books: The Maltese Falcon by Dashell Hammett; On the Road (of course) by Jack Kerouac and Been Down so Long it Looks like up to Me by Richard Farina. We suggest a stop at The City Lights Bookstore and The Bookstore section of the nearby Beat Museum. Also see the movies “The Graduate” and “Bullett”. (Don’t forget The Love Book by Lenore Kandel and Google “Smoking Typewriters”…OH)
…or try the slanted and often inaccurate “Season of the Witch”-Speed Kills and heroin came into the Haight from December 1966 to January 1967, not later-I was there OH
Again, for those who think the amateur online pundit can’t come up with perceptive insights we will ask this question did any republican on the FOX debate program mention that pot should be made available to vets with PTSD? Did any of them mention the veterans at all?
If liberal pundits can’t turn writing into a money generating endeavor, liberals better start preparing themselves for the third member of the Bush Dynasty.
Audiences get what they are willing to pay for. You don’t have to be Phineas T. Barnum to know that. No one is going to pay for hideous idiosyncratic liberal punditry . So, they better get used to the idea that FOX News and Rush Limbaugh are going to choose the next president for them.
… if the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra, can offend chicks and get away with his snide references to frails, skirts and broads, why can’t Trump get away with it, too? … the real winner of the Fox Debate was Megyn Kelly. (Her agent must love Trump because hasn’t Trump guaranteed an additional annual million dollars to her salary in the future?)
… 6 people died in the Berkeley Balcony tagedy, now we have to see if anyone is going to jail.
Cue up the wrap-up music: (and roll a joint for my outlawyer):
Strange Days by the doors. Working in a coal mine (whoop!, rehabilitation is hard work). And Teen age enema nurses in bondage, as we fade out.
DISCLOSURE: The world’s laziest journalist reminds regular readers the column is being written under stressful conditions. We will try our best to maintain a high quality of editing and reporting. We thought keeping the 15 year string of weekly postings trumped being compulsive about spelling and punctuation.
(We sometimes make up words and/or sentence structure for shock and chaos.)
Now its time for the disc jockey to play “They’re coming to take me away, ha ha…”.