June 18, 2016

A First for the USA?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 2:33 pm

crop of newspaper reader


When The Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory intern announced plans to travel to Hawai’i in an effort to become the first transsexual to secure a nomination to be a candidate for US Senate, we wished Karla tons of good luck confident that her position in the history of politics was guaranteed because of the competitive nature of journalism today.

After receiving some enthusiastic and upbeat updates, we pondered the situation.  The World’s Laziest Journalist has always held a strong drive to have a cartoon, poem or story published in The New Yorker magazine.

Since the main stream media seems to be stonewalling the historic aspect of the Gottschalk for US Senate campaign, (check out their Facebook page of the same name), we realize we may have the opportunity to pitch The New Yorker for a chance to do a profile of the first senate candidate who is a transsexual.

We will dash a query letter ASAP. Meanwhile, we have to focus on some mundane chores, such as polishing  a new Conspiracy Theory that postulates the idea that D.B. Cooper was a rogue CIA agent who raised untraceable money in order to subsidize the Watergate caper.

(Note: Thomas Eagleton’s medical records, which the burglars took or stole or obtained, threw the McGovern campaign off balance from the beginning and they never regained their momentum and, thus produced for Nixon the most lop-sided presidential victory in American History.)

If Hillary picks Senator Warren as a running mate, will conservative pundits label it as a “Laverne and Shirley” episode?

Will a dead-locked Republican Convention beg Jeb to accept the nomination and break the logjam?

Will young republicans be as adverse to a Trump nomination as young democrats were opposed to Humphrey in Chicago back in 1968?

Does the Senate have separate restrooms for men and/or women?  Or, are they exempt from Obama’s executive orders?

… to be continued

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