August 6, 2016

Historic candidacy in Hawai’i goes unnoticed.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 4:25 pm


About two years ago while covering student unrest at the University of California in Berkeley, the World’s Laziest Journalist took a break and in the process of visiting the men’s restroom was confronted with several coeds protesting … something.

Now this year the issue of access to restrooms is a wedge issue that has gained a great deal of traction.

A candidate in Hawaii seeking a seat in the US Senate may become the first transsexual to be elected to the US Senate.  We wonder where the Democratic incumbent’s stand on this issue is.

Is it true that that Gender Verification Agents will be appointed to inspect  all patrons as they come?

The candidate who was an intern at the Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory has hinted that there is some secret polling results showing that she has a 15% lead over the Democratic incumbent. At election time does anyone ever fact check polling results?

Apparently Trump does not know the difference between a Medal of Honor and a Purple Heart.

Not a single one of our classmates, in the college class of 1965, wanted a Purple Heart.

Did The Donald who was not going to be drafted with his 1-Y classification want a million dollar wound to get out of combat or did he really want a few fingers, a hand, an arm or a leg or foot or … blown off?  The highly paid pundits seem to have issued The Trumpster a pass regarding questions about this inexplicable claim.

Trump blunders egregiously and a serious effort to win a net gain of one senate seat in Hawai’i goes unnoticed.

If saint Hillary trounces Trump the Republicans will wallow in guilt and the blame game.

Oh, well, elections are not supposed to be funny but it sure seems that the 2016 presidential election will be the funniest ever.

Perhaps voting has become irrelevant in the golden age of spin with lookism providing the tiebreaker.  The shame of it is there are many pressing issues which deserve debate and fact checking but Americans are easily distracted.

(Note: the photos from the past  with the encounter with the coeds were unavailable as this column was being prepared for posting.  We used a photo illustrating a low-tech method of gender verification which should be familiar to all adolescent boys.)

Now the disk jockey will play the Che Guevara song ” Hasta Siempre Commandante” and we will flip a coin to decide between the Lady and the Tiger.

We hope the voters in Hawai’i seize this historic moment in history and write a new chapter in the saga of the Senate-Good luck, Karla!

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