Scribe knows how hard it is to live up to campaign promises. He also knows how hard it is for you to be honest and to prevent yourself from getting people killed for fun, but let’s not get nasty, shall we?
Oops, too late.
During your 04 campaign you promised that you would make the world a more peaceful place. Let’s skip the little lie about it being a “more peaceful” place since you stole your throne, shall we? Little? Well, “little” compared to many of the worse whoppers you keep telling. Do you insist on making whoppers because you have stock in Burger King?
Anyway, Scribe is here to help you live up to expectations. It’s going to be tough, but doable.
First, declare a national emergency and order DC evacuated. In fact you might want, for national security, to evacuate a much larger region. This would include Congress, except those Senators and Representatives who are most loyal to you, the Bushie babies. You know, your favorite political zombies? Make sure those who disagree with you are as far away from the DC area as possible.
Second, declare a national conference at the White House on peace. Invite the same Congressmen and women that weren’t evacuated. Invite all the talking heads who have supported you so much. Invite corporate execs who are in your pocket; you in theirs. Military leaders too; just those who lie for you. Past administration members get a special invite.
Gather them together in the White House, and once you’re sure they’re all there, lock the doors, point guns at them: shooting anyone who moves, and call in a tactical nuclear strike on the White House.
Scribe promises, if you join them for the final event, the world will be a more peaceful place.
Just a suggestion.