Bart,
Here’s my answer to your challange. I’ll raise my hand to profess my belief in God; a God who does not condone the conditions in Robert Parry’s rant. In Matthew 25:34-46, Jesus describes how He will honor those who give a drink of water, a meal, clothing, or minister to the needs of the less fortunate. He also tells of the condemnation awaiting those who exploit them. Some of us believe that Jesus was the first to preach Socialism. The book, “Acts of the Apostles” relates how members of the early church practiced a form of socialism, where the members shared everything they owned, so there none lacked for any of their needs.
Today, many of us support with our time and our money organizations like the Salvation Army, the American Red Cross, and various other missions, shelters, and other charities where the homeless and the indigent are provided with assistance. Concerns about abortion, homosexuality, and other “sins of the flesh” are put on the back burner, and are less important than helping the needy — because that’s what Jesus did. Jesus showed compassion toward the poor, the sick, and His most severe condemnations were for he Religious Right of His day. The church I belong to, goes out into the community, periodically, to help the poor and the elderly with home repairs; we maintain a prison ministry, and there are those who regularly visit the sick and shut-ins.
It’s not true that the United States is a Christian nation. The religion of the United States is Capitalism, and the god of Capitalism is Mammon. The major dogmas of Capitalism are that (1) Greed is good; (2) Profits are more important than people.
I would rather conduct my life, living as though there is a God, and at the end, find out that there is not, than to live my life as though there were no God, and at the end find out that He exists. It would seem to me that it takes a greater faith to believe that this universe came into being through a series of random events, than to believe that there is an intelligent, all-powerful God who brought it about by an act of His will. The “Big Bang” was God speaking all this into existance.
Not preaching at you, my friend, and would never try to force my faith on you. Just giving you the perspective of one who believes in God and is willing to raise his hand in affirmation.
All the best to you, and keep on hammering.
Bill in Versailles.
George Carlin On Religion
ObjectiveThought.com
12-23-5
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would’ve been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say “this guy”, because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn’t give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can’t see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I’m big on that. If I can see something, I don’t know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I’m unworthy. Doesn’t tell me I’m a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn’t said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don’t pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn’t presume on our friendship. It’s not polite.
I’ve often thought people treat God rather rudely, don’t you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It’s not nice. And it’s no way to treat a friend.
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you’d really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you’d have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn’t in God’s Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn’t it seem a little arrogant? It’s a Divine Plan. What’s the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?
And here’s something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren’t answered. What do you say? “Well, it’s God’s will.” “Thy Will Be Done.” Fine, but if it’s God’s will, and He’s going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn’t you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It’s all very confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don’t pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he’s a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn’t fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
So I’ve been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don’t. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit’s foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat’s testicles, it’s all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that’s a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I’m sure you’ll like that. Then there’s Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn’t care for, by the way. And finally, I’ve always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.” That’s because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I’m gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody’s okay? All right, tell you what, I’ll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I’ve got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I’m blind. I’m blind, oh, now I’m okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!
(Copyright 1999 by George Carlin. Printed without permission.)
http://www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html
Comment by Volt — November 28, 2007 @ 6:05 pm
Whether or not there is a God, (and I happen to be closer to Carlin’s thoughts than Bill’s), Bill is writing what a true Christian should be – a good example. It’s too bad there aren’t a lot more people in the world like Bill professes himself to be…as a whole the human race would be a lot better off than we are now. I’m not really a fan of “just in case” belief (I would rather conduct my life, living as though there is a God, and at the end, find out that there is not, than to live my life as though there were no God, and at the end find out that He exists) as that seems rather pointless, doesn’t it? Like betting on both teams in a football game so you don’t lose?
Comment by animaux — November 28, 2007 @ 8:25 pm
“Just in case” religion is pure bull. If you are going to posit that an omniscient deity exists, then you must accept that this entity already knows if you’re professing a belief in him/her/it just to cover your ass.
I have nothing against true Christians. It’s just that there are so damn few of them.
Comment by Peregrin — November 29, 2007 @ 2:59 am
I left the Christian party a long time ago,
It seems there are as many good Christians at large in the world as there were good people around Sodom and Ghomorrah(spelling needs work).
The track record down through history does not speak well in favor of the positive side of any
religion especially a militant one.
Still if it gives someone comfort to know that their guilty conscience is going to condemn or redeem them in the hour of passing,I could give a shit less.
Just dont try to foist doctrine onto the leaders
of the world in order to further the agenda
of one persons right to dominance over another based on the cults belief in its Auto-Deification.
Comment by Rainlander — November 29, 2007 @ 3:59 am
I believe there are many layers of Gods, actually… and the one we judeochristian mortals on Earth have been praying to may actually be only the Demiurge; a lesser god, creator of only the physical universe, yet unaware that beyond him there are higher forces, those which transcend the physical universe; forces that are, and have always been.
I always have liked this definition of God, taken from “the Sophia of Jesus Christ”, a gnostic gospel that was found in 1945 (among others) after being buried in the desert for centuries:
I think it’s absurd that the right wing has called spirituality for itself, as if it were an exclusive quality. I would venture to say that the most truly spiritual people in the world lean to the Left when it comes to politics; it’s only natural. Buddha, Jesus… the OG’s were lefty hippies.
I am a hard lefty and strongly believe in God.
Do I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior? no
Do I believe in Yahweh the angry god of the Old Testament? hell no
Do I trust the Catholic Church further than I can throw it? no
Do I have a strong sense of God and his presence in all that surrounds me? Yeah.
We need to stop allowing the right wing to monopolize spirituality (notice I use the word “spirituality” instead of “religion” or “faith”…big difference) and we have to reframe the actual issue. Many people in WalMart America™ are absolutely convinced that lefties are completely incapable of being spiritual… that’s not even put into question anymore.
Anyway, I’m rambling now.
If you want to know the REAL truth about Christianity, read these books:
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Mysteries-Was-Original-Pagan/dp/0609807986
Comment by madrax — November 29, 2007 @ 9:39 am