April 17, 2020

Madam Jane Predicts: The exact date that our lock-down will end

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 9:57 am


Someone just banged on my front door. “Go away. I’m sheltering in place!” I yelled — but Madam Jane wasn’t buying it. Not at all.

“I can see the future,” she yelled back. “I see that you are safe from COVID-19. You’re good. Now open the damn door.” What else could I do? Madam Jane is scary, far more scary than just a mere virus. I opened the door.

“Let’s get right to the point,” said M.J. “I have just predicted the very exact date when all this COVID-19 lock-down will finally end.” Now she had my total attention. “You realize of course that the Federal Reserve has been giving away one trillion dollars a day to Big Business in the last few weeks, right? And also giving Big Business billions of dollars a day for months before that?” No, I hadn’t heard.

“And yet the Fed’s payments to small businesses have totally run out after only 13 days. Something is fishy here — and I’m about to tell you what.” So much for my nice leisurely morning of sheltering in place.

“Large corporations have taken over our American democracy. You don’t need a crystal ball to see that.” Yeah, sure, what else is new — but what does this have to do with the date we get to end the lock-down? “Before I tell you my prediction, first you gotta understand that there is only so far that Big Business can go before it kills the goose that lays its golden eggs. And that would be us.”

Yeah yeah yeah, I’m also aware that we’ve been goosed by the military-industrial complex for decades now. Get on with predicting the date.

“That’s easy,” replied Madam Jane. “When almost all competition from America’s small businesses has been taken out of commission by the lock-down and Big Box stores reign supreme? When most of us are bankrupt, desperate and so unemployed that we’ll eagerly slave away 12 hours a day for peanuts — but are not quite yet zombies? When the Fed finally calculates that the Golden Goose is now on life support and there is not even one drop of money to be squeezed out of us? That will be the exact date when the lock-down will end.”

“Then we should just forget about flattening the curve?” I asked incredulously. “Just forget about a vaccine? A cure? All those freaking ventilators? Social distancing? That this virus might be a truly deadly disease for people with serious preexisting conditions? None of that will factor in? Not even at all?”

“Yep. That’s the plan. It’s all about tweaking up the New World Order — at our expense. And it has been that way from the start of this pandemic. Get us all afraid, broadcast the danger on TV night and day, keep us all isolated? Distract us and then rob us blind.”

Okay. I’ll shut up now. Why? Because nobody in their right mind ever argues with Madam Jane, especially not me. But still…. She actually just might be right.


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