December 28, 2007

The Tattlesnake — The Next Economic Shock, Stroke Up the Bandwagon, and a New Conspiracy Theory Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Uncategorized — RS Janes @ 11:57 pm

Christmas a Lead Weight: In early December, MSNBC reported that the Consumer Action Council was warning that 35 percent of the toys on American shelves contained lead or other toxic substances — how many of those items are going to end up poisoning some poor kid and leaving him or her with mush for brains? Does Mattel care? They’ll probably just issue a dumbed-down Barbie (if that’s possible) that the lead-retarded kids can identify with — “Let’s have fun! Why don’t you feed me and change my adult diaper?” Speaking of the Xmas shopping season, it was even more of a dud than last year, as the US economy slowly slides its way to a full-blown depression. As the AP reported December 26th:

“The nation’s retailers slashed prices further Wednesday in hopes that a post-Christmas shopping rush will salvage holiday sales that, so far, have fallen below even modest expectations. They’re waiting in particular for legions of shoppers armed with gift cards to snap up bargains and buy new merchandise that has just hit store shelves.” [...]
“Meanwhile a broad gauge of consumer spending released by Mastercard Advisors — a division of the credit card company — that includes estimates for spending by check and cash, reported Tuesday an increase of 3.6 percent from Nov. 23 to Dec. 24, the low end of expectations. That compared with a 6.6 percent gain in the year-ago period. Excluding gas purchases, holiday sales were up only 2.4 percent.”
– “After Christmas, shops try to lure scrooges,” AP, Dec. 26, 2007.

Next crisis on the block joining the housing collapse? Credit industry failures as strapped families can’t pay their ballooning credit card debt racked up during the holidays. Save that coal you got in your stocking — you may need it for heat. (Read a great piece on this looming crisis by Danny Schechter here.)

Rudy Giuliani goes into the hospital overnight for “flu-like symptoms” and a tremendous headache? Huh? What healthy adult male spends the night in the doc shop for that? Aside from a testament to Rudy’s rich-man health insurance — no average American would be able to cajole their HMO into paying for an overnight hospital stay with the flu and a headache: “Take two aspirins and drink plenty of fluids — and stay home!” — this sounds, even to People Who Only Play Doctors On TV, like he had at least a mild stroke. Considering the baffling nature of some of his recent TV ads, like that bizarre ‘Christmas fruitcake’ flopperoo, perhaps he’s had more than one. Forget the Grover Cleveland Official Campaign Denials that he’s fine — Rudy may be dropping out of the race for health reasons any day now. No doubt the G-Man is under a lot of pressure after pissing away a thirty-point lead with his obnoxious personality and shady past. Adding to his other ethical problems, he now is accused of peddling his reputation to prevent prosecutions of the makers of OxyContin for lying to the public.

– New Conspiracy Theory: Could it be that the Big Media is intentionally prolonging the writer’s strike to keep the late night talk shows, as well as the irreverent slice-and-dice satirizations on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, in reruns and therefore unable to jape the GOP candidates and the White House? (Too many Americans, to our national discredit, get their ‘news’ from the talk shows.) Hard to imagine, but then so is Junior as president.

– Finally, Lou Dobbs: Rather than prove he’s not a racist, perhaps TV’s most rabid anti-illegal immigrant ranter — he now seems to devote half of his show to his eye-rolling ravings on the subject — merely married a Mexican woman to torture her.

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