December 31, 2007

New Years Eve message from Bart

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 6:48 pm

The important word for the day is “SAFE,”which means you DON’T drink and drive. Even if you “just” have a drink or two, on the wayhome some sober-but-inattentive ass could screw up and crash into you but if the cop smells alcohol on you it’s going to go down as YOUR fault, so why risk that?

If you screw up tonight, (let’s say you’re lucky and you DON’T kill or injure anyone with your dumb-ass wreck, you’re going to spend the night in jail with people who are stranger than Republicans and you’d better be built like a linebacker because the strong OWN the weak in jail.

Once you get somebody to bail your drunk-ass out, you have to pay the bondsman, the towing company, court costs, a hefty fine, your outrageous lawyer’s bill, car repairs and you’ll have your license possibly suspended and you’ll almost certainly have to go to drunk driving school and you now have a permanent police record which puts your job and future jobs at risk and it just keeps getting worse. If you’re recently divorced, you could lose custody of your kids and that’s a whole lot of trouble to go thru to save car fare.

So don’t screw-up and get behind the wheel, even if you”always do” and you’ve always made it home OK. We’re in for the night.I bought some wine for Mrs Bart and some vodka for me. The luckiest cat in America has some new luxury catnip to play with while we channel surf for good music and hot babes and Kathy Griffin will be tormenting that whore Anderson Cooper LIVE, which is a crazy thing to do. Whose idea was it to give Kathy Griffin a live mic? Koresh help us if somebody mentions the handjobs who call themselves “the Christian Right” to her.

So stay out of cars if you can and FOR SURE don’t drive because it could cost you everything.

New page Wednesday and I should apologize now for what my Razorbacks and my Sooners do to poor Missouri and that hapless West Virginia team. …

and we all survived another year, bart


  1. happy new year bart 385 days 5hrs 42mins left to go………….

    Comment by ROSCORUDE — December 31, 2007 @ 7:23 pm

  2. Happy New Years! My bottle of Parrot Bay and I are staying home tonight, but thanks for the reminder of why I don’t want to drive around out there.

    Comment by idealistferret — December 31, 2007 @ 7:30 pm

  3. Hey Barto,
    Happy New election Year to You the missus and them cats,
    been hitting the Chardonay since 6:00 and here till noon tomorrow for hamhocks and blackeyes or is it blackeyedpeas and hamhocks?
    May the new year find us a leader that will enrich everyone!
    May everyone have a wonderful year!

    Comment by Rainlander — December 31, 2007 @ 8:42 pm

  4. Happy New Year from Hawaii, Bart!

    Comment by Joseph52 — December 31, 2007 @ 9:07 pm

  5. Fortunately, we have free cab service on NYE around these parts, and I have a sober ride anyway.

    Have a great NYE, Bart.

    Comment by RS Janes — December 31, 2007 @ 9:13 pm

  6. Ummm Bart, your Sooners are running into a p****d off WVU team. You might want to hedge your bets. Best to you and yours in the coming year.

    Comment by greyhawk — January 1, 2008 @ 6:10 am

  7. Dude… Happy New Year’s Day to you and the missus… My friend Andy Jackson says the Tigers and Mountaineers will make you cry and he’ll be your friend if they don’t. What say you? P.S. have you ever tried Bushmills Irish whiskey? Best damn sipping whiskey (warm and neat) that there is. They’ve been making it in the same place in the Auld Sod for 400 years… Regards…

    Comment by BadtotheboneBob — January 1, 2008 @ 10:22 am

  8. Best of luck in 2008 Bart. Keep swinging that hammer and all will be well in just 385 days.
    Good advice on the d&d stuff, I got caught in 1985 and it still haunts me to this day.

    Comment by Hugh Jarse — January 1, 2008 @ 12:52 pm

  9. Hoo Ha! Halftime at the Cotton Bowl… and it’s Mizzou 14 Hogs 0!!!!

    Comment by BadtotheboneBob — January 1, 2008 @ 1:37 pm

  10. Good message, and Happy New Year, Bart!

    Comment by captmathman — January 1, 2008 @ 3:51 pm

  11. Bart knows all of this because…..?????

    Oh, He read about it.


    Comment by Volt — January 1, 2008 @ 7:08 pm

  12. Dude… Because of the esteem I have for you, I refuse, REFUSE, I say, to dog you over the fact that the Hogs lost to Mizzou by 31 (that’s thirty one) points in what was probably the boringest Cotton Bowl in modern memory (and I’m one month older than you, so I’ve seen my share). I liked their all red uniforms, though! Pretty spiffy! Meanwhile, my friend, Andy Jackson, is still hot on those Mountaineers. OU has spiffy red uniforms, too, don’t they? And WV is gold and black like Mizzou? Wow! What a coincidence! Whadda ya think ’bout that, eh?
    Meanwhile, how ’bout my Wolverines (Go Blue) puttin’ those damn Gators in their place (in their own damn back yard, I’ll have you know)? I know, I know, first bowl win in 5 years for the winningest program in ALL of college football, but, ever so much sweeter cuz the last time they won a bowl was against THE GATORS in 2003! Suck on that Gainesville! Haha!

    Comment by BadtotheboneBob — January 1, 2008 @ 7:59 pm

  13. Bart, just a reminder. The last bowl game OU played in, they were a favorite as well. I think they were playing a bunch of losers called Boise State. How did that turn out?

    Comment by greyhawk — January 2, 2008 @ 5:39 am

  14. Happy New Year Bart.

    You are the best USA web site!

    Please don’t stop your efforts!

    Far from the threat of attacks of Bush, we who are safe from him in Moscow are wondering if he and his Dick will be taken to the prison this year?

    We keep hoping.

    Comment by pashupati — January 2, 2008 @ 6:49 am

  15. I’ll be on-air for the first hour of the Fiasco Bowl, Bart, but after the show I plan to put a blanket over my head and watch my beloved, coach-jilted Mounties through the space between my fingers covering my eyes.

    Here’s hoping you’re as wrong about the Sooners as you were about the Hogs!

    Let’s Goooooooooooooooooo, Mountaineers!

    Comment by BobKincaid — January 2, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

  16. Happy New Year bart & mrs bart

    We stayed home too with our champagne & bits & pieces watching movies. We had black eyed peas & rice to start the new year. Tradition ya know.

    Go Hillary!

    ciao for now & Peace


    Comment by oddcatout — January 2, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

  17. Happy New Year from WV Bart. Sorry about those “hapless” Mountaineers. Be looking for the “Brady Bunch” to take their fourth Super Bowl and whooping those Cowboys on the way. Bob W.

    Comment by fototag — January 3, 2008 @ 1:06 am

  18. The Mountaineers played a great game and deserved that win,there is a kind of a sadness
    here in Norman Ok today but we’ve been here before and the Sooners will be better for it next year.
    Congratulations to the WV players and fans!

    Comment by Rainlander — January 3, 2008 @ 11:07 am

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