Where Government is Tiny and Everything is Privatized…
“Hello, Road Emergency Response Corporation. How may I help you today?”
“Hi, my name is Valentine Michael Smith, account 2008GOP, and I’m trapped in my car…”
“Yes, Mr. Smith, one second … Okay, I have your location right up on my screen from your OnStar GPS locator unit. You’re off the road on Route 29 near the Route 230 underpass.”
“That’s right. I skidded off the road and the car’s upside down. My wife and I are trapped and the car top is crushed. I think I may have some serious injuries; I’m numb from the neck down and my wife is unconscious. Could you send someone immediately to get us out?”
“Certainly, sir. Sounds like you need the Jaws of Life pronto. Do you have a Bronze, Silver, Gold or Premium account with us?”
“Bronze, it’s all I could afford.”
“Ah, I see. With our discount Bronze account, you have a $500.00 deductible for any emergency response service. Do you have a credit card handy?”
“What? I’m paralyzed from the neck down and trapped in my seat – I can’t get out my wallet!”
“That’s unfortunate, sir, as we need to have your $500.00 deductible payment registered before we can send help. It’s all in your Bronze contract.”
“Look, I’ll tell you my bank’s name and they can verify I have the money in my accou –”
“Sorry, sir, only a valid credit card will be accepted.”
“But — this is crazy! It’s inhuman!”
“Perhaps you can call around and find a friend with a valid credit card who will make the payment for you and then call us back.”
“Call around? I had to hit the emergency button on the cell phone with my tongue just to call you!”
“That’s unfortunate, sir, but my hands are tied — we just can’t make exceptions. Corporate policy and all that. I hope you free yourself from your predicament, and have a nice day!” (Click.)
Gee… sounds like a good balance between the public and private sector would be worth advocating for.
Comment by grimgold — February 4, 2008 @ 12:08 pm
Nice post RS. There is a good way to maximize corporate profit from a situation like this much the way some privatized abulance companies do already.
Leaving Mr. and Mrs Smith on the side of the road is bad PR. An emergency response company can come to the rescue and then stick Smith with an inflated itemized bill. More money can be made selling his debt to collection agencies and if this bankrupts the Smith household you can sell his personal information. The tertiary possibilites are endless.
Grim, one way to create a balance between public and private sectors is to ensure that essential social services like defense, health care, and utilities are not run on a profit-before-people basis.
Comment by Danger Bear — February 4, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
In my area, the ambulance and EMT’s come right away, but then they add it to your hospital bill later. Currently, they are required by law to respond immediately, regardless of your economic status. So, Grim, it presently is a mix between private and public around here, if you can get Medicare/Medicaid to pay for your ambulance service later. (Not guaranteed these days.)
However, privatizers would like to change this and make ambulance companies and EMT’s available only to those who can pay upfront. None of them has yet said what happens to those who have no money, but a neocon I once talked to about this subject said, “They should have thought of that before they had the emergency,” so I guess that means if you’re poor, you die.
America used to be a humanitarian nation; still is, in some parts.
Comment by RS Janes — February 5, 2008 @ 8:23 am