Enjoy watching your favorite candidate go down in flames with these quick and tasty dishes!
Mike Huckabee’s Great American Grilled Cheese Sandwich: Take two hot cross buns and cover with margarine on both sides. Stack in frying pan with several slices of processed American cheese between the rolls and heat until buns are toasted, then reduce heat to 15 percent, pour in a half-gallon of sweetened milk, and continue cooking until limp and soggy. Find Jesus’ image in the toasted buns and wrap in the Constitution to serve. Goes well with a simple nutty-buddy dipping sauce, a frosty glass of Slim Fast, and okra-flavored Fiddlesticks.
John McCain’s Straight Talk Express Burger: Fry small aged beef patties in pork fat and serve on crackers with Vietnam Hero Sauce. Flip the patties over several times when cooking until they’re dry and gray throughout. Serve with dehydrated Navy Bean soup, Mars bars and Bush-brand Kool-Aid on the side.
Mitt Romney’s Where’s-the-Beef Burger: Combine thick layers of lettuce, mayonnaise and marshmallows on Wonder bread spread with Joseph Smith’s Secret Sauce, and cook until lettuce is wilted and marshmallows are toasted, then toss the whole mess in the trash and go out to eat a real meal. Serve with Coors Lite and a Brylcreem pie for dessert.
Hillary Clinton’s Inevitable Ice Princess Ambrosia: Start with a Waldorf salad and add a variety of withered melon balls, assorted vegetables, and other overripe fruits without nuts. Cover with Blue Cheese Lite dressing and croutons made from 1990s sourdough bread. Serve chilled with New Billy Beer and a Chess pie for dessert.
Barack Obama’s Bowl-Me-Over Soul Chili: Combine liberal amounts of young parsnips, ripe tomatoes, black beans, white onions, wild grass roots, African yohimbe, hope, charisma, and chunks of baked Cape Cod and Chicago-style ribs. Simmer covered for four years in Senate chamber until ready to explode. Serve with Hasty Pudding and Hawaiian Punch on the side.
The Tattlesnake – Martha’s Super Tuesday Recipes Edition
Enjoy watching your favorite candidate go down in flames with these quick and tasty dishes!
Mike Huckabee’s Great American Grilled Cheese Sandwich: Take two hot cross buns and cover with margarine on both sides. Stack in frying pan with several slices of processed American cheese between the rolls and heat until buns are toasted, then reduce heat to 15 percent, pour in a half-gallon of sweetened milk, and continue cooking until limp and soggy. Find Jesus’ image in the toasted buns and wrap in the Constitution to serve. Goes well with a simple nutty-buddy dipping sauce, a frosty glass of Slim Fast, and okra-flavored Fiddlesticks.
John McCain’s Straight Talk Express Burger: Fry small aged beef patties in pork fat and serve on crackers with Vietnam Hero Sauce. Flip the patties over several times when cooking until they’re dry and gray throughout. Serve with dehydrated Navy Bean soup, Mars bars and Bush-brand Kool-Aid on the side.
Mitt Romney’s Where’s-the-Beef Burger: Combine thick layers of lettuce, mayonnaise and marshmallows on Wonder bread spread with Joseph Smith’s Secret Sauce, and cook until lettuce is wilted and marshmallows are toasted, then toss the whole mess in the trash and go out to eat a real meal. Serve with Coors Lite and a Brylcreem pie for dessert.
Hillary Clinton’s Inevitable Ice Princess Ambrosia: Start with a Waldorf salad and add a variety of withered melon balls, assorted vegetables, and other overripe fruits without nuts. Cover with Blue Cheese Lite dressing and croutons made from 1990s sourdough bread. Serve chilled with New Billy Beer and a Chess pie for dessert.
Barack Obama’s Bowl-Me-Over Soul Chili: Combine liberal amounts of young parsnips, ripe tomatoes, black beans, white onions, wild grass roots, African yohimbe, hope, charisma, and chunks of baked Cape Cod and Chicago-style ribs. Simmer covered for four years in Senate chamber until ready to explode. Serve with Hasty Pudding and Hawaiian Punch on the side.