Ye Olde Scribe’s Incredible, Inedible, Quote Machine
“Turning out the Inedible, but Interesting, for at Least Eight Blog Years.”
“(Junior’s)… no moron. He just plays one.”
-A-Non-E- Moose
“(Junior’s) …legacy may well be: amongst other more obvious horrors, reviving the old U.S.S.R.”
-A-Non-E-Moose
Simply “Super” (Sarcasm Intended)
Since the writer strike has been starving us all of the usual grand (sic) burnt offerings, ABC, NBC, ABC, Pubic Broadcasting, and Scribe’s “beloved,” “unfair and very mentally unbalanced” FLOX, decided to offer programming given to them for free by the DLC. You probably didn’t notice you were watching these “super;” not so mellow, melodramas.
Super Woman 08
Super powers: superior fighting abilities through tossing her not so secret weapon; dung fu.
Weaponry: sharp spear that has two points; one to stab at an opponent in the same party and one for real opponents to push back on. Works best in reverse.
A “Better” Base Who Supports her superherodumb: now new and “improved,” and mostly energized by lower class white power. My, oh my, and the same category filled with Lush Dimbulb listeners who were told to vote for her just to royally screw things up. Ain’t that a co-winky-dink?
Sidekick: Husband; you know the one who has helped even his friends stick a knife in his own back for the past 16 years.
Super Man 08
“Super” powers: a semi fine command of the English language and the ability to talk enemies to death. Well, it worked the last presidential election, right? (Possible response by his base when this is a pointed out: “What? Why did you say a Black man can’t talk?”
Weaponry: his magic calming ray that gets everyone together and stop fighting each and moves the country forward. Warning: this weapon has yet to be proven effective except amongst supporters. Possible response by his base when this is pointed out: “What? Why are you saying a Black man is always inept?”
His “better” Base: “Don’t you dare even hint at criticizing him.”
Sidekick: “What, you saying a Black man has to have someone to do his work for him? You saying they’re all lazy?”
Not seen, the real arch villain: Junior. He won’t even bother to walk on the set. The reprogrammed McCain bot will do it for him.
Scribe’s note: ain’t TV grand? Almost as “inspiring” as how we treat each other.
By day John W McCain is a wild-mannered senator from Arizona, but behind closed doors he dons his crusty old tights to become the Sinister Septuagenarian. He has recently wrested control of the waning criminal organization known only as NEOCON. Don’t make him angry, we wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
Super powers: Shapeshifting, volcanic temperment, and “that smell”. Also in times of crisis he has the amazing abilty to clear his mind of important policy details.
Weaponry: Media Love Ray and the Century Bomb
Better Base: the basest
Sidekicks: Homewrecker, the mysterious alcohol heiress with the hidden financial past. Charles Keating.
Comment by Danger Bear — May 12, 2008 @ 5:20 pm
PLUS, the poor old geezer is so old that the only thing Viagra raises
is blood pressure! ;O)
Comment by kerry — May 13, 2008 @ 12:10 pm
Age jokes never get old
I’d like to thank Scribe for giving me the opening to indulge in two guilty pleasures at the same time.
On a distubing sidenote, if anyone is curious what happens when a strong woman gains too much success in an adolescent male power fantasy then look up the term Women In Refrigerators.
Stephen Grant has my favorite interpretation:
“It comes down to sex, really. It’s no big secret that, in the adolescent power fantasy which are the bread and butter of superhero comics, fight scenes are symbolic surrogates for sexual activity. You can’t get up the nerve to ask the girl who sits next to you in geometry class for a date, but you can buttress your virility by vicariously beating the crap out of the Joker. At heart, superhero comics are conservative, exonerating status quo attitudes rather than undermining them, and a basic tenet of the conservative attitude in this country is that women shouldn’t enjoy sex. When superheroines go out there and beat up villains, hey, those fight scenes are symbolic surrogates for sexual activity, too. They have to be punished for enjoying it, because it’s just too threatening for women to enjoy power corresponding to that enjoyed by men. So heroines are de(p/fl)owered, mutilated, raped or sexually threatened, and killed. “Serves ‘em right for trying to do a man’s job.” A lot of recent “bad girl” books would seem to disprove my point, but many of those are boldly misogynistic, basically excuses to torture women then justify it by having them “win” in the end (not to mention most of the “women” therein are actually thinly disguised inflated dolls). Guys in general tend to be paranoid about the notion that women don’t actually need them for anything (which is why so many find the double-edged sword of lesbianism so fascinating), and, let’s face it, superheroines don’t exactly mollify that paranoia, unless they’re functionally subservient to a male figure.”
Comment by Danger Bear — May 13, 2008 @ 12:34 pm