August 5, 2008



Vote for Paris!

Hilton ‘enters’ election race with spoof ad

LOS ANGELES (AFP) – Paris Hilton has thrown her hat into the US presidential race, declaring her desire to campaign against “that wrinkly white-haired guy” and threatening to paint the White House pink if elected.

The blond socialite responded to Republican candidate John McCain’s controversial use of her image in a campaign television spot last week with a satirical ad of her own posted on the website  on Tuesday.

(see video @

In the ad, the 27-year-old appears reclining on a sun lounger beside a swimming pool, dressed only in a skimpy leopard-print bathing costume.

“Hey America, I’m Paris Hilton and I’m a celebrity too,” Hilton declares breezily. “Only I’m not from the olden days and I’m not promising change like that other guy. I’m just hot.

“But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I’m running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I’m, like, totally ready to lead.”

Hilton then offers an alternative US energy strategy, suggesting that she plans to combine elements from McCain and Democratic rival Barack Obama.

“We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. … Energy crisis solved, I’ll see you at the debates, bitches!”

Hilton then signs off by declaring that she is now mulling her choices for vice-president. “I’m thinking Rihanna,” she said, referring to the singer-songwriter.

“I’ll see you at the White House,” Hilton adds. “Oh, and I might paint it pink. Bye!”


  1. Sure, why not.
    As long as she didn’t paint the whole White House pink. Maybe just the doors and window frames.
    Pretty sure Rihanna wasn’t born in the US, though. Maybe Pamela Anderson for VP. As long as she stays divorced from Tommy Lee. Couldn’t deal with that.

    Comment by bittershaman2 — August 6, 2008 @ 8:59 pm

  2. I have never thought that much of Paris Hilton, but I do believe that this is one of the best things she’s ever done.

    In this forever-red state of Nebraska, I just might have to write her name in.

    Comment by Peregrin — August 7, 2008 @ 7:03 am

  3. I had a scary thought as I was typing my previous comment; I really do trust Paris Hilton more than the two candidates. I don’t think she has any sort of wisdom or competence, but in honesty.
    Also, I made a mistake. Pam Anderson wasn’t born in the US, either. I forgot she was from Canada.
    How about Mike Rowe from “Dirty Jobs”. He’s nice-looking and used to shoveling shit.

    Comment by bittershaman2 — August 7, 2008 @ 2:06 pm

  4. bittershaman2 Good to see you back, missed you. ;O)

    I think if she painted the Whitehouse a hot pink it would be most appropriate. After all, as everyone knows, it IS the BIGGEST WHOREHOUSE IN AMERICA. LOL

    Peregrin, She couldn’t possible be any worse that the idiot and his cronies have been for the past 8 years. (with the help of the rollover democrats!)

    Comment by kerry — August 7, 2008 @ 6:44 pm

  5. Besides, with Paris we could actually see the president having a beer (or something) every night in Hollywood as she made the rounds of trendy night clubs. Beats the stuffings out of having a ‘near-beer’ with Bush any day of the week, or Geritol with Crash McCain.

    Comment by RS Janes — August 8, 2008 @ 7:36 am

  6. Take a peek at;

    Tabloid diva Paris Hilton’s ‘energy policy’ has analysts talking

    EXCERPTS [“Never thought I’d say this,” Connecticut energy consultant Peter Beutel told the Boston Herald, “but Paris Hilton’s plan is sound.”

    And Rex Buchanan, an energy spokesman for the Kansas Geological Survey: “Is there something to what she says? Shoot, yes!

    “See what you’ve done? You’ve got me analyzing Paris Hilton’s thought process.”
    “If she can articulate it, it can’t be rocket science,” Fields said. “But the candidates don’t come out and sum it up this way because their messages are, one, built around sound bites; two, built around oversimplification; three, built around interest groups.”]

    Wouldn/t it blow the minds of repugs and dems alike if Paris really did decide to run! LOL

    Obama would for sure turn pale and McMuck would have a stroke. :o}

    Comment by kerry — August 8, 2008 @ 9:01 am

  7. “The Fall and Rise of Jimmy Don Clyde”
    The perfect running mate for Paris Hilton?
    He already knows all about VICE, has dealt with ‘gas bags’ and would easily get the repressed woman’s vote!

    Comment by tsumbra — August 8, 2008 @ 11:48 am

  8. Umm folks, this isn’t even a good joke. look up her age. We might as well run the Trix rabbit.

    Comment by greyhawk — August 8, 2008 @ 1:51 pm

  9. [Comment withheld in the interest of good taste]
    Silly Rabbit,Trix are for Kids!

    Comment by Rainlander — August 8, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

  10. Since President Paris is disqualified because she isn’t over 35, I guess Vice-President Mike Rowe moves up.
    Ellen Degeneres would be a nice choice for VP.
    Everyone seems to like her and she has a really hot girlfriend. Sure, she’s a lesbian, but she might balance that out by being white and born in Texas. Or moved to Texas. Same thing.
    That would be a ticket I could feel good about.

    Comment by bittershaman2 — August 9, 2008 @ 2:16 am

  11. Grey, Of course it’s a good joke! Have you no sense of humor? A bad joke would be having an idiot for president or his clone! ;O)

    Rain, That’s very admirable of you. LOL

    Bitt, I don’t see why her age should keep her from running since the rules and laws don’t apply anymore. Or she could lie about her age since it is expected of politicians to lie about any and all. I’m sure she and her family could produce documentation that she is older that would be as authentic as all the documents the bushco repugs produced to further their republican war for oil! ;O(

    Comment by kerry — August 9, 2008 @ 8:48 am

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