September 30, 2008

The Tattlesnake – McCain Failin’ ’08 Edition

Or, The Rake and Raquel Drop Down the Well

You Can’t Make This Up: Sarah Palin blows the two interviews she has with CBS’ Katie Couric, so she comes back for a rematch bringing her Grandpa John to help out. In-frigging-credible. Palin already looks lame, so you make her appear even lamer by sticking McCain in there for another sit-down with Katie? Whose idea was it to put that on the air? Is Grandpa going to go onstage and hold her hand during Thursday’s debate with Biden, too?

McCain also invoked what was perhaps one of the dumber ripostes in a campaign festooned with them when he accused an average voter, asking a question of Palin about attacking terrorist camps in Pakistan, of playing the ‘Gotcha’ game. So now asking St. Sarah about anything to which she gives the wrong answer is playing ‘Gotcha’? Should be an interesting debate Thursday – “Uh, that question you just asked me about borrowing money from China is a ‘Gotcha’ question and I don’t answer ‘Gotcha’ questions, sir.”

Latest Big Media Euphemisms for McCain’s Lies and Flip-Flops, collected over the past couple of weeks from various sources: “His position has evolved,” “He’s finding a new mechanism to present his case,” “He’s altering his message,” “He’s appealing to the Republican base,” “He’s responding to change by changing,” “He’s proving his maverick streak,” “He’s reforming his position on the issue,” “He’s looking for the right message here,” “He’s fine tuning his message to the base.”

Is it possible that McCainiac’s handlers are trying to lose this thing to make way for Brother Jeb in 2012? After all, they are all Rovians and ultimately loyal to the Bush Family and they have been running the worst campaign in modern history. They may be in Panic Mode, but that doesn’t explain all of the various twists and bends that seem calculated to piss off everyone but a few million goofballs in the GOP base. For that matter, shouldn’t the Big Media be asking why, this late in the game and with the addition of Mrs. Christian Moose-Meat Mauler to the ticket, McCain is still chasing his base?

Prediction: Watch for a solidly Red State – maybe Kansas, Nebraska, Mississippi or Louisiana – to flip Blue for Obama on election night. He’s doing better in all four than the Big Media Major Polls would have you believe. Also, in the wake of Hurricane Ike and the millions of Texans who have been stiffed by FEMA and GOP Gov. ‘Goodhair’ Perry, look for Texas to be a lot closer than anticipated – McCain will probably win it, but it’ll be by a sweaty-brow narrow margin, and the Republicans will lose a couple of Congressional seats.

Laughable: Did I spot a sign in the background of a McCain rally recently, held aloft by a young guy with his ball cap on backward, that read, “I’m Pulling for Palin!” or was that my imagination?

Laughable the Deuce: Any truth to the rumor that back at the Sedona, AZ, spread, the McCain family orders all of its booze delivered from ‘Dick Liquors’?

Laughable the Third: According to CNN, in the dozen or so elections since they started paying attention to this kind of trivia, the biggest-selling presidential Halloween mask foretold the winner of the election. So far, Obama is outselling McCain by a 2 to 1 margin.

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