October 28, 2008

Of lopsided robots and beauty queens

Filed under: Opinion — David W Scott Jr @ 2:33 pm

O.K I’m going to come right out and say it and don’t tell me that all of you out there haven’t been thinking about it too. What the hell is wrong with John McCains face. It looks like a swollen softball. I suppose this is a cruel question, but you have to ask yourself do we want a president that looks like a one cheeked chipmunk and don’t say that looks don’t count. Look who he chose for his vice president a former beauty queen with a brain the size of a pea, if brains were gas she wouldn’t have enough to power a piss ants’ go cart around the inside of a cherrio as the saying goes. I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone would vote for such a woman except for the fact that she’s beautiful. But getting back to John McCain and his misshapen head, just imagine if he was the president, his looks are off putting. I can see him meeting foreign heads of state and the advisers saying “don’t say anything about his face, don’t say anything about his face”

I always suspected that Ronald Reagan was a robot. I remember when he was testifying about the Iran Contra thing and he kept saying “I don’t recall, I don’t recall” and I swore I saw a secret service agent dart out from the wings and pound him on the back to unstick his vocal tape. “He’s stuck, he’s stuck” they must have said. Well John McCain looks as though he might be a robot too. He walks like a robot and his arms move with that herky jerky motion that speaks of defective cogs or broken cables and his facial expressions are downright creepy, needless to say I’ll bet he doesn’t kiss many babies.

The funny thing is that all the people around him seem to be beautiful, his wife, his VP, and all those unidentified good looking women who seem to always be standing behind him. I suppose it might be a kind of subliminal message for the male voters that seems to say “Look if your a Republican and rich even if you have a puss like mine you can be surrounded by a bevy of beauties.

So the question is do you want an ugly robot who could malfunction at any moment leaving the country to a woman that makes George Bush seem like Einstein or what Robert Cray calls “a brown eyed handsome man.” Lets face it looks count it’s a fact of life. The scary part is that I can almost hear John McCain saying, “I’ll be back.”


  1. “Mr. McCain has a scarred, puffy left cheek from surgery that he had in 2000 after doctors discovered his third melanoma, and it is plainly visible on television. His pale skin sometimes looks even whiter than it really is, thanks to the powerful sunblock he uses.”


    Comment by animaux — October 28, 2008 @ 2:39 pm

  2. Reagan was a hologram and McCain is the clone of a clone. Most lobbyists are secretly mad scientists.

    I believe Obama arrived in a spaceship as an infant and is the last survivor of a dying planet.

    Comment by Danger Bear — October 28, 2008 @ 3:43 pm

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