November 13, 2008

Sarah Palin = frontrunner

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 6:52 pm

Now that the 2008 Presidential election is over, it’s time for two new topics.  Who will be the first pundit to officially declare who is the Republican frontrunner and second:  who should be the recipient of that accolade.


Since Kurt Godel of the Institute for Advanced Studies has passed away, someone else will have to step up to the plate and volunteer.   


With that in mind, and knowing that the members of the Washington Press Corp don’t like to do any work, the World’s Laziest Journalist will volunteer to offer his services to actually do the necessary work.


The World’s Laziest Journalist will copyright these phrases:

Sarah Palin is the Republican frontrunner for 2012.ã

Sarah Palin, the 2012 frontrunner.ã

The Republican frontrunner for 2012 is Sarah Palin.ã

 . . . Sarah Palin, the 2012, Republican frontrunner . . .ã

Now, two years hence when the 2010 elections are history and the “one task at a time” national pundits turn their attention to the 2012 Presidential election they will discover that the work necessary to officially consecrate the frontrunner will have already been done for them and (tah-dah) they will also have to pay royalties for using those copyrighted phrases.


Sure there will be some market for stories and columns about what Bush might do in the next few weeks and some speculation about will Obama really embrace change or will he validate the French philosophy:  “The more things change, the more they remain the same,” but those two topics seem trite and hackneyed.  Why waste time.


When it is time, the Republicans will embrace Sarah Palin as the front runner because she will give them hope of returning to the winning conservative brand of Republican philosophy as personified by Ronald Reagan, and the Democrats will relish the thought of a battle with her because they consider her extremely vulnerable and susceptible to a resounding loss.


If the Republicans and the Democrats agree, then it will be up to the national pundits to manufacture a synthetic battle for the nomination in an effort to convince their budget minded editors that they are really worth the money they collect for relaying the information they find on blogs to their audience.


Copyrighting the most common phrases describing the anointing of Sarah Palin as the next Republican candidate for President will mean that they have to pay royalties, but they can just put that on their expense accounts and thus bypass the need to do any actual work to evaluate and select the most likely choice for the Republicans in 2012.


Now is the time to beat the others and start marketing T-shirts that embrace the official selection of the Alaskan Governor!  The national pundits can put their news organizations’ summer interns on that particular task and return to their favourite gin mill to continue their efforts to emulate the work ethics of William Boot (in the Evelyn Waugh novel “Scoop”).


Sarah Palin has said:  “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.”

Now, the disk jockey will play the Jefferson Airplane’s song “Sarah” and we’ll float off on pleasant memories of the Sixties.  Have a “surrealistic pillow” type week.

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