February 12, 2009

Republican Heaven

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 4:43 pm

Muslim warriors believe that when they die, 72 virgins will be waiting in heaven for them to arrive.

Republicans believe that when they get to heaven all social programs will be eliminated as a cost saving measure and their taxes will be reduced to zero.

Last weekend, the headline for the L. A. Times Sunday late edition hinted that the Republicans are just about to get to heaven and begin the “uber-fun” phase of their program. Soon, the Republicans will hardly be able to contain their glee while seeing the look on liberals faces when the cutting of funds for social programs begins. If that isn’t heaven for them, then it’s impossible to say what would be.

The costs of the wars America is fighting will have to be covered. Police and firemen have to be on duty and be paid. Other than that, it is becoming obvious that the budgets for city, county, and state agencies have reached the “cut or die” breaking point. Either they cut programs or the programs and the state budgets will go completely out of control..

Republicans have always been sickened by the costs that social programs add to the various government budgets and have strongly urged that they be eliminated. Now, thanks to the Bush budget legacy, President Obama will have to be at the helm when many “unnecessary social programs” “take the bullet” and are sacrificed to cut overall costs.

Rush Limbaugh will use this disparity to goad members of various minorities into resenting the coincidence that Obama happened to be President when it happened, and el Rushbo will urge them to take out their resentment of Obama at the voting polls when the next elections are held.

Republican officer holders can shrug, mumble the “compassionate conservative” nonsense, and stifle their mirth, while “going along with Obamas’s cuts.”

Cuts which follow the approval of a stimulus package will seem (to those affected) especially galling and Rush will be sure to stir up the maximum possible amount of resentment among the Democrats.

In essence George W. Bush has dismantled the New Deal and has managed to do so in a way that will (for many) make it seem like President Obama is the culprit. The last vestige of the New Deal left to remove is Social Security and the Republicans are willing to wait another term or two before making the elimination of Social Security a move that is a “critical necessity.”

The Republicans have always hated “the New Deal” and watching the elimination of all the social programs they hate will be like life in heaven for those compassionate conservatives who never did like FDR.


  1. You know, Bob, I’d hate to be overly optimistic, but I think you’re wrong. The GOP is digging itself into deep hole with all they’ve been doing to appeal to their pathetic 22 percent ‘base’ and pretty much pissing off everyone else. If President Obama junks our social programs and doesn’t bail out the states somehow, we’re gone along with the rest of what’s left of the world economy. It won’t matter to the angry villagers building crosses if you’re a Democrat or Republican. Besides, the GOP doesn’t have the clout in the Congress or the states it once had. They may try, but I think they’ll fail, and they’ll make themselves a permanent minority party in the process. (Remember what happened to the Whigs?)

    “Rush Limbaugh will use this disparity to goad members of various minorities into resenting the coincidence that Obama happened to be President when it happened, and el Rushbo will urge them to take out their resentment of Obama at the voting polls when the next elections are held.”

    Rush doesn’t have any ‘minority listeners’ except white southern racists, pasty honky jerks, halfwit chickenhawk handjobs, and Grimgold. All of those groups (and Grim) are also going to suffer it it all comes crashing down to the point where nobody wants to buy your hidden stash of gold coins, and don’t think that can’t happen. We are in a depression now and teetering on the brink of a global economic wipeout such as the world has never seen. Rush will be flushed with the rest of the GOP effluvia if that should occur.

    Comment by RS Janes — February 12, 2009 @ 7:58 pm

  2. I think you may be mistaken about firemen and police having to be paid by taxpayers. In republican heaven you’ll have to be a subscriber to have fire or police protection.

    Comment by DC Madman — February 12, 2009 @ 9:29 pm

  3. What in the world would a person want with 72 (count them) 72 virgins? That belief is utterly stupid and demeaning to women. It’s hard to imagine that people seriously fervently do believe it.

    Bob, I gotta read your piece carefully before I respond (you didn’t think I’d let it slide by did you?).
    I just hope you guys are sincere when you write pieces like this. I don’t like wasting my time.

    Comment by grimgold — February 12, 2009 @ 9:50 pm

  4. BP, because of limited space I won’t respond with the same broad brush you write with and instead concentrate on one of your complaints.
    Limbaugh doesn’t want to do away with Social Security, which you would know if you had listened to him along with your listening to his critics.
    However, I can put myself in your shoes and easily understand why you wouldn’t listen for hours to someone you’ve learned to hate. In your place I’ve behaved the same way. I can’t stand even the sight of GW these last few years, though my anger has finally begun to subside; mostly.
    The problem with S.S. is Congress is spending the S.S. money as fast as it’s coming in. The S.S, fund is composed of stacks of IOU’s and the whole system is destined to go broke if something isn’t done.
    What Limbaugh thinks is that for starters, govt needs to get hands off.
    Then if fixed properly it won’t go broke.

    Remember how Jimmy Carter more than doubled the amount taken out of people’s paychecks then declared the S.S. system fixed?
    Didn’t work.
    ‘member Al Gore’s lock box? The man was headed in the right direction.
    If you’d like I’ll state a solution to Social Security. It’s absurdly simple, and you’ve probably already heard it. But airing it again wouldn’t hurt.

    Comment by grimgold — February 13, 2009 @ 12:28 am

  5. BP, couldn’t resist one small additional comment.
    An example of a social program that pisses away billions that could be eliminated tomorrow is the money given to farmers, and especially to those rewarded for not growing crops.

    The farmers that get these subsidies are mostly members in good standing of the hated rich, not poor farm families.
    I will ‘hardly be able to contain my glee’ if farm subsidities go away and taxes are reduced as a result.

    Comment by grimgold — February 13, 2009 @ 12:38 am

  6. You must be richer than Oprah to worry about tax cuts so much.
    Without subsidies, more small farms will go out of business.
    I don’t want to pay $10 for a loaf of bread or gallon of milk.

    Comment by bittershaman2 — February 13, 2009 @ 1:20 pm

  7. Bitter, you indicate that I must interested in taxcuts out of self-interest.
    Then you say you want farm subsidies because of your own self-interest.
    I would hope you don’t do everything from the perspective of what would benefit you personally.
    That sort of attitude, if taken too far, can make one bitter.

    Comment by grimgold — February 13, 2009 @ 2:47 pm

  8. I also live in a farming community. And have farm relatives.
    I just feel sorry for all those rich people who’ll have to pay $10 for a loaf of bread.
    Fast food corporation shareholders will lose dividends when expenses cut into their profits, too.
    Have some compassion.

    Comment by bittershaman2 — February 13, 2009 @ 4:59 pm

  9. Keep the subsidies for the true family farms run by, you know, a family, and cut them out entirely for ‘Big Farma’ like Cargill and ADM.

    Also, let’s go back to letting farmers use ‘heritage’ seed — not only do the fruits and vegetables taste better, but we then we eliminate the chance of some Frankenfood (not Al) gene escaping and affecting other crops, as has already happened.

    Comment by RS Janes — February 13, 2009 @ 7:25 pm

  10. Bitter, I can’t have compassion. It’s against the rules!

    RS, I completely agree with you. I also suggest the possibility that the fed govt get entirely out of subsidizing farmers and let the states and locals do it. They’d do a lot better job.

    Incidentally, I think it was ADM who sued a small farmer because some of ADM’s weird corn pollen had blown onto that farmer’s corn and they hadn’t paid for the priveledge of having the enhaunced corn. Very, very unfair.

    Comment by grimgold — February 13, 2009 @ 10:37 pm

  11. Grim, I agree that the state should administer the subsidy program where possible, but some states are so corrupt, the cash will end up in some political crony’s pocket instead of the farmers; the money’s coming from the feds, so we should have some say in how it’s used in that case.

    Yes, I heard about that AMD Frankencorn case but I can’t remember the farmer’s name. ADM sued him for unauthorized use of their patented ‘genetically-altered’ product that he didn’t want, and wasn’t supposed to spread to his crops, according to company reassurances. Incredible.

    The worst part of this is that these mega-food giants are selling seeds around the world that bear fruit and vegetables with sterile seeds that can’t be replanted for the following year. In other words, you have to buy new seeds from the company each planting season for your tomatoes, oranges, etc. Not only does this screw over the family farmer big time, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster if these crops should mutate into something that makes the food product toxic to humans.

    Comment by RS Janes — February 14, 2009 @ 4:43 am

  12. What in the world would a person want with 72 (count them) 72 virgins?

    Considering how uptight and repressed many Moslem countries are about women and sex, it seems the only way these jihadists guys can get laid is by getting killed.

    Comment by Whiteowl — February 14, 2009 @ 2:34 pm

  13. Whiteowl, what if, on top of them being virgins, they were also Israelis and all in their 80s? Welcome to hell, Mr. Jihad Man!

    I was with a virgin once — give me a woman with experience any day of the week.

    Comment by RS Janes — February 14, 2009 @ 4:42 pm

  14. I thought only crazy people and Christians still translate the word houri into virgin. The average muslim doesn’t believe that anymore than most Christians think they’re actually going to recieve wings and a harp.

    Why do men like virgins? Because they can’t stand criticism!

    Comment by Danger Bear — February 14, 2009 @ 5:22 pm

  15. Whiteowl, you otta be ashamed! This is a perfectly good hate-all-things-republican web log and you just ruined it!
    You have these serious uptight people giggling. Unacceptable!
    This is for you:


    Comment by grimgold — February 14, 2009 @ 6:46 pm

  16. RS, your complaint above about “some states” is exactly my belly ache about the fed govt.

    This is mainly why I’m against things like ‘free’ govt run health care and why I want smaller govt along with accompanying lower taxes. Of course, smaller doesn’t necessarily mean more honest, but it should, and it would be easier to achieve, wouldn’t it?


    Comment by grimgold — February 14, 2009 @ 6:53 pm

  17. Grimmy, Dangerbear, etc,have you heard the joke baout the old man who went to Confession?

    He said to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old and just took Viagra for the first time.”

    “Why, that’s not a sin, my son.”

    “I know, but yesterday I bedded four women, all of them at least 40 years younger than me — one of them was even an 18-year-old virgin!”

    “I see. Alright, say twenty Hail Mary’s…”

    “Hail Mary’s,” the old man says. “You mean like the football play?”

    “You aren’t a Catholic, are you, my son.”

    “No, father, I’m Jewish.”

    “Then why are you telling me this?”

    “Hey, I’m telling EVERYBODY!”

    (Rim shot.)

    Comment by RS Janes — February 15, 2009 @ 5:35 pm

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