February 14, 2009

The Tattlesnake – What’s in a Name? Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 4:27 pm

A Rogue By Any Other Name…

From an AP news story yesterday:

US Security Firm Mired in Iraq Controversy Changes Its Name
Blackwater Worldwide renamed Xe as company tries to salvage its tarnished brand

The Associated Press
February 13, 2009

Blackwater Worldwide is abandoning its tarnished brand name as it tries to shake a reputation battered by oft-criticised work in Iraq, renaming its family of two dozen businesses under the name Xe. The parent company’s new name is pronounced like the letter z.

Read the rest of the AP article here.

Now that the schutzstaffel wannabes at Blackwater have taken the plunge, perhaps some of our other fetid corporations will do likewise to improve their ‘brand image’:

Halliburton could rename itself ‘Dick’s Kids’ “Won’t you help them help themselves with your tax dollars?”;

Kellogg, Brown & Root could turn into ‘Beds, Breakfasts & Beyond’ “You’ll be shocked at our low prices!”

General Dynamics could become ‘Jets ‘n’ Stuff’ “Hey, there, America, we’re flyin’ for you!”

ExxonMobil could go with ‘OXOXOX’“We just love you and you’ll love us!”;

DynCorp could become ‘The Dyners Club International’ “Always at your service!”;

Bechtel could be rebranded as ‘Builder’s Square’ “From a shed to a skyscraper, we’re on your side!”;

The Carlyle Group could change its name to ‘Defense R Us’“If it rolls, flies or floats, we’re there!”;

And Blackwater itself, instead of the weird ‘Xe,’ could change its name again to the more comforting ‘Snuggle Security’ “We’re your blankie when you’re afraid.”


  1. Thats funny RS. They should just do a full reversal and go for WhiteFire.

    WhiteFire – Fry the Unfriendly Skys.
    Melt off your mouth if I can’t see your hands.

    Comment by Danger Bear — February 16, 2009 @ 5:48 pm

  2. First white phosphorus jokes I’ve seen…

    Comment by bittershaman2 — February 17, 2009 @ 3:07 am

  3. Wow, I wasn’t even thinking about WP at all, but now that you mention it I can easily see how you got that impression. I was going for more of a flamethrower/M&Ms thing.

    Thanks for making me feel wildly inappropriate, Bitter.

    Comment by Danger Bear — February 17, 2009 @ 4:43 am

  4. RS, I see Bitter and The Bear are keeping you company. Good.
    I’ve been too busy to read. Sorry.
    Something happened today that really made my day. Tell you about ti soon.

    Comment by grimgold — February 17, 2009 @ 9:59 pm

  5. Bitter and Bear,
    I almost forgot.
    While I’m not around much, someone needs to feed RS his conservative suppressant medicine. He needs one spoonful daily. If you go up to the second floor of the Bart Web Log, all the way to the back of the first room, you’ll find an ice-box.
    Inside, behind people’s lunches, find a bottle marked “Don’t touch!”
    Med has ‘kid flavoring’ so RS won’t object to taking it.
    I appreciate your help.
    Thanks, Grimmy

    Comment by grimgold — February 18, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

  6. Oh no! We’re all out of conservative suppressant! Someone get me 100ccs of human decency and a history book.

    Comment by Danger Bear — February 18, 2009 @ 5:18 pm

  7. Grim, I’m glad something good finally happened to you. ;)

    That ‘medicine,’ BTW, is pure white lightnin’– fueling me up for more rants on His Flabulousness, Rush the Third spelled with a ‘U’ for ‘U’ are welcome.’

    Comment by RS Janes — February 19, 2009 @ 7:15 pm

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