Beck Says He’ll Be ‘Available’ for Republican V.P. Slot in 2012
But Presidential Candidate Must Meet His ‘Core Principles”
By Don Van Vliet
Special to the Times
October 3, 2009
WASHINGTON – Controversial Fox News Channel talk show host Glenn Beck announced Friday evening that he would be “available” to any Republican Party presidential candidate in 2012 to “run with them as their vice president.”
Speaking on his television show, Beck added that he would “guarantee victory in 2012″ due to his “enormous, insane popularity with all of America.”
“Hundreds of millions hang on my every word,” Mr. Beck boasted, “and I can get them out to vote for anything.”
There were several caveats to his offer, however. Mr. Beck said he would only lend his support to those candidates that embraced his “core principles.”
Among those principles, according to Mr. Beck: the community group ACORN, the American Civil Liberties Union, cable television network MSNBC and labor unions must be banned, in the “name of preserving our precious freedom.”
He also advocated a “Fair American Voter Equalization” plan, which would mean that a Democrat or other opposing candidate would need three votes to equal every one vote for a Republican. Mr. Beck explained that this was necessary to counter, “the misguided young and independent voters, and all of the illegal Hispanic and black voters registered by fascist groups like ACORN.”
The conservative talk show host told his audience that once the Republicans attain a majority in Congress in 2012, “they should take steps to insure another fascist dictator like Obama doesn’t come to power.” He suggested that the Republicans pass laws establishing “a thousand years of liberty and low taxation” under a permanent Republican majority in Congress and a Republican president in the White House.
“Democrats and liberals always turn into fascist socialists and Communists when they have power,” Mr. Beck concluded, “and the only way to check that is to make sure they never have power again by writing it into the law.”
Mr. Beck ended his show by mimicking one of President Obama’s campaign lines, “That, my friends, is change you can believe in!”
Contacted for comment, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele welcomed Mr. Beck as a potential candidate for vice president. “He has his hands on the public at all times,” Mr. Steele said. “His hat may be on funny, but it’s the same hat I proudly wear every day – forward, backward, sideways, whatever.”
Megan McCurdle, a spokesperson for Sarah Palin, claimed the former Alaska governor also embraced Mr. Beck’s possible entry into politics, “he’d be dynamite on the campaign trail and Gov. Palin would be tickled pink to share the national stage with him, as long as she’s on top.”
Other potential 2012 Republican presidential candidates declined comment for this article.
Copyright 2009 R.S. Janes. LTSaloon.org.
LOL…I hope to God you are being facetious with this one. If you are, then I must admit you had me because I went to the NY Times site to try to find it. It just goes to show how insanity like that would be something that I do not think is beyond right-wing media and the people in this country. A (sane) conservative columnist and author, David Brooks, has an interesting thesis that right-wing pundits do not have substantive political clout. See: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/02/opinion/02brooks.html?_r=1
I think Beck may be about as effective on the GOP ticket as Palin was. Good one RS!
Comment by Greg in cheeseland — October 3, 2009 @ 6:55 am
No, Greg, this was satire all the way, and I even used Captain Beefheart’s real name for the fake byline. Thnaks for the link to the Brooks article.
Comment by RS Janes — October 3, 2009 @ 6:11 pm