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May 5, 2012

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo — Mitt Style

cartoon-mitt-cinco-de-mayo

May 4, 2012

May Day, Derby Day, and Cinco de Mayo

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:29 pm

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May Day evening at Frank Ogawa Plaza
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Oakland Police depoy for May Day night

On Sunday, April 29, 2012, under the headline “In Oakland, Officials Say Police Used Illegal Tactics,” the New York Times reported that the Oakland Police Department would use changes recommended by the Frazier Group to cope with the May Day Occupy Oakland protests.

On May Day night, KCBS radio reporter Chris Filippi was describing the specifics of the new tactics that were being used to add approximately 20 new arrests to the OPD’s total for the day.

In the East Bay Express edition published on Wednesday May 2, 2012, a story by Ali Winston, under the headline “OPD Takes More Steps Backward,” on page 16, was accompanied by photo with a caption that informed readers the OPD faces the prospect of federal receivership.

While taking photographs Tuesday at an Occupy Oakland protest, this columnist noticed that there were police vehicles present from the Office of Homeland Security. (They have Homeland Security license plates.) Unsubstantiated rumors in the area suggest that if and when the OPD goes into receivership, Homeland Security will step in and take over.

On May Day night a reporter from CopWatch said he had taken videos earlier in the day of police using tasers.

When the World’s Laziest Journalist makes political predictions, such as our contention that JEB Bush will be the winning candidate when Presidential Election is held in November of this year, the level of skepticism from Liberals is quite strong and they are adamant in their refusal to evaluate any information used to arrive at that conclusion.
Got indigestion?

If we write a column reporting the appearance of the Pirate Party on the political scene in Europe and post it on April 27, 2012, and if the AP runs a news story on the birth of the Pirate Party on April 28 and the New York Times runs a story about German’s Pirate Party on May 2, 2012, friends and regular readers don’t much care if we point out the coincidence.

Got a Tums tablet handy? Here’s our next prediction: If JEB wins in November, the World’s Laziest Journalist will write a column that will ask the question: Did Liberals ignore the JEB prediction because subconsciously they wanted that precise outcome to occur?

If Liberals don’t secretly want a return of the Bush Dynasty wouldn’t they look closely at the material used to make the prediction and evaluate it to see if they could possibly do anything (everything?) to prevent such a (hypothetical) result?

Until the November election results are counted – strike that word because the electronic voting machines do not leave any verifiable results – until the November election results are being reported, we will use all the self-restraint we can muster to abstain from jumping to conclusions and/or making political predictions.

We were wrong in our Kentucky Derby prediction about Native Dancer, so for tomorrow’s race, you’re on your own, pal.

Didn’t forecasts, predictions, and educated guesses about “the most likely outcome” provide the bulk of the Sunday morning talk shows’ appeal until the Murdochization of Journalism occurred and American citizens were conditioned to watch and accept unexpected events without questions?

George Clayton Johnson, who wrote for “The Twilight Zone” TV series, advises young writers to be creative by rejecting the laws of logic and ask themselves “What if?” What would happen if political pundits rejected the Murdoch syndrome and began to ask “What if?” and (perhaps) achieve Twilight Zone levels of entertainment value in their evaluations of politics?

Here is an example: After a primary season where all Republicans enunciated radical policies for keeping the women folk under control, giving businesses unrestricted disregard for laws in an effort to provide more jobs, and asserting that the Social Security Program was about to go broke; what if a deadlocked convention turned and begged JEB to (in the name of family tradition and patriotic duty) accept the Republican Party nomination to be their Presidential Candidate?

If (hypothetically) the electronic voting machines with unverifiable results delivered a win to JEB, wouldn’t he then be able to say he had a “mandate” to carry out the program formulated during the Primary process? If a deadlocked convention hands JEB the nomination, he won’t be shackled by any campaign statements or promises.

Once a member of the Bush Dynasty gets a mandate, does Fox News bother with any debates about what the voters meant by their decision? When Fox decrees, does any other team in the Journalism game dare to risk being labeled “conspiracy theory nutcases” and deviate from the norm established by Fox?

A promise not to make any new political predictions doesn’t mean that we won’t occasionally make snarky remarks such as noting that President Obama seems to be sanctioning the closure of places where medical pot is available and that Occupy protests are getting the same swift reaction that student anti-war demonstrations got in 1968 from the governor of California and then asking: “Does that prove that Obama is a Reagan Democrat?”

Is there irony in the fact that Occupy Protesters tents were removed from public parks, but in the travel section of the April 29, 2012, edition of the New York Times, an article by Elaine Glusac suggested using a web site named Campinmygarden to find places in Great Britain to rent urban space where tourists could pitch their tents during the Olympic games?

In the USA the streets are filled with homeless people who are told that the empty buildings are off limits.

Will cash strapped San Francisco rent out park space for the yacht owners to camp out during the America’s Cup preliminary races this summer?

In the Thirties atmosphere of class struggle, some wealthy people voiced the opinion that if a homeless person were on fire, the swells wouldn’t urinate on them to put out the fire. Would it be an example of sadism if people condoned (symbolically) urinating on a worker struggling with payments for a house that is “under water”?

When it was discovered that banks were using improper procedures for home foreclosures, did any court issue an immediate injunction on additional foreclosure proceedings or no? Perhaps in all the excitement, the banks have lost count of how many foreclosures they made. Was it 500,000 or was it 600,000? Now you have to ask yourself another question. “Doe it matter?” Well does it?

What if the World’s Laziest Journalist is wrong predicting a November win by JEB?

If we are accurate in the prediction, we will gloat; if our projection for the results is not correct, we will do an unabashed version of the Murdoch response and blame midlevel management (at the World’s Laziest Journalist headquarters) for being inept and providing us with inaccurate information.

[Note from the Photo Desk: After taking and posting photos from the morning portion of the Occupy Oakland May Day protest, we returned to Frank Ogawa Plaza near sundown and took some photos of the police coming out of the City Hall in riot gear. At that point the batteries in the Coolpix camera ran out of juice, so we went home and listened to KCBS news radio to learn about the exact number of inevitable arrests.]

Wright Morris wrote: “The man who walks alone is soon trailed by the FBI.”

Now the disk jockey will play Max Frost and the Troopers’ song “Shape of Things to Come,” Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz,” and (from 1966) the New Breed’s song “I’ve Been Wrong Before.” [If W. C. Fields were still alive would he say: “A man’s gotta believe in something and I believe “I’ll Have Another” will win!”?] We have to go to National Free Comics Day, a Cinco de Mayo celebration, and place a bet on a real horse race. Have a “frisked for weapons” type week.

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