January 14, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Anti-Mythmaking and Other Conundrums Edition

“Obviously, some of my rhetoric has been a mistake.”
– George W. Bush in what, we hope, is his final press conference.


A Few Popular Media Myths Quickly Dispelled:

– There is not, and never has been, any such thing as ‘global free trade.’

– That we have, or have ever had, a ‘free market’ economy. (Another quaint media fiction that has never existed in reality.)

– There is not, and never has been, any such thing as a corporation that ‘cares.’ Corporations care about you to the extent that it facilitates freeing you from your money to buy their product or service; that is their only purpose in ‘caring’ about the customer at all. All else is marketing and public relations.

Laughable Bulls*it: Bush now admits the ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner was a mistake. Hmmm, was that the ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner prepared by the White House, or the one the Rove PR machine claimed was painted by the happy sailors aboard the carrier USS Abraham Lincoln that had nothing to do with the Bush Gang?

Ponderable: ‘In God We Trust’ is an interesting motto to stick on money. Think about it – if you really trusted God, you wouldn’t need money.

To All of the Geniuses on the Left Excoriating Obama: Word up, friends. It’s said Obama is a good poker player and a good poker player doesn’t show his cards until he’s ready. Next time you think to trash him before he’s even officially president, think for a moment: The guy is one of the smartest presidents we’ve ever had, and he put together an organization to get this far, against the odds; maybe he actually knows what he’s doing.

Not a Cheeseburger in Paradise: Burger King is currently featuring something called the ‘Angry Whopper’ spiced up with slices of jalapenos and pepper cheese to burn your tongue. Geez — fast food with emotions? What’s next, the ‘Big Mad Mac’ with bone splinters, White Castle’s ‘Snarly Slider’ with fingernail clippings, or Wendy’s ‘Ass-Kickin’ Mean Stack’ with pieces of real teeth? “Gimme one a them damn nasty burgers and make it snappy, jerk! Grrrrrrrr.”

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