November 3, 2010

Fasten your seatbelts, boys!

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 3:07 pm

Liberal pundits now face a nightmare binary choice: they can agree with Fox News that the voters of America have just given President Obama a chillingly ominous signal (similar to the “black spot” message in Treasure Island?) or they can subscribe to the lunatic conspiracy theory that the election results were skewed somehow – with the possibility that the electronic voting machines are the Occam’s Razor style leading contender for a theory explaining the sudden about-face in American politics.

Teabaggers would be quick to denounce any attempts to blame the electronic voting machines for the losses, because such arcane explanations are suspiciously similar to the incomprehensible mumbo-jumbo of the scientists who promote the global warming theory that attempts to refute the Bible.

Pundits, who repeat the Republican talking points about a mandate to reduce the size of government and the deficit, security, and the promotion of the traditional American philosophy that individuals can achieve their full potential in the freedom loving society of the United States of America, will be given a tumultuous round of applause for their efforts and, perhaps, warm words of praise in their next employee evaluation accompanied, of course, by a terse reminder that a reward in the form of increased monetary remuneration is, regretfully, temporarily impossible during the current period of economic challenges to his employer. You know how that goes: “Nice work, boys, pass these cigars around; then let’s get back to work!”

The lunatics, who make snide accusations that the fault lies in the secret computer programs used by the electronic voting machines, will be put in a metaphorical straightjacket and sent to the Internet Isolation Ward without supper.

To think that the Republicans were and are accountable for war crimes, carnage and slaughter in the Middle East, extreme cruelty via fraudulent home foreclosures, and religious hypocrisy, is complete luncacy, but to accuse the Republicans of tampering with the sacred tradition of free elections is tantamount to accusing them of treason.

Speaking of reviving the House Un-American Activities Committee, we recently noticed (“Martin Dies” by William Gellermann The John Day Company hardback edition 1943) that it has been said: “(Martin) Dies explains that individuals have certain God-given rights and that ‘the destruction of one fundamental right is always followed by the destruction of all others.’ The ‘real answer’ is to restore ‘Christian influence’ in America. The teachings of Karl Marx are diametrically opposed to those of Jesus Christ.”

Pundits of the lunatic conspiracy theory kind can question the validity of the results produced by the electronic voting machines, but they do so at their own peril.

We would like to direct the attention of those potential agent provocateurs to this passage: “He (Martin Dies) considered it a fact that many well-intentioned people in the United States had been misled by Communist slogans and had taken part in the Communist movement thinking they were promoting liberty.” (Ibid page 110)

It is time for President Obama to signal his readiness to work with the new Speaker of the House and he can do so by waving the white flag of surrender. Then the country can devote its full attention to the daunting tasks at hand.

In 2008, the Democratic candidate promised Change. Well, if he doesn’t show any willingness to compromise with the newly elected Republican House, he will be called “intractable” and thus conclusively prove that he is a hypocrite.

Hunter S. Thompson was always saying “Big Darkness Soon Come.” He didn’t live long enough to see just how correct his assessment was.

We enjoy lunatic conspiracy theories as much as the next pundit and so we will keep a sharp eye out for the first signs of any such behavior on the Internets, such as a fixation with a new Impeachment via an old student loan application.

Would President Obama agree to a quid pro quo? He won’t veto the new Republican Health Care Bill and they, in turn, won’t start impeachment proceedings on that basis?

In 1943, the Democrat Martin Dies said: “I am not a maudlin internationalist who believes that I or my Government can go all over the world and make people democratic, whether they want to be democratic or not.” That certainly wasn’t the case regarding the liberation of French Indo-china, was it?

Now the disk jockey will play Waylon and Willie’s version of “I Don’t Care (If Tomorrow Never Comes),” Janis Joplin’s “Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)” and Hank Williams’ “My Son Calls another Man Daddy.” We have to go collect some bets and make some new ones. Have a “straighten up and fly right” type week.

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