November 26, 2011

Rove’s January surprise?

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 1:25 pm

Some well known American political pundits have recently started to dabble in speculation about the possibility that a deadlocked Republican National Convention in Miami next summer will ask JEB Bush to please come to the Party’s aid and accept the nomination. That kind of hypothetical scenario indicates two possible explanations about the sources of such “trial balloons:” either the “expert” has grossly underestimated Karl Rove or they are writing those forecasts to pay off some kind of journalistic/political IOU’s.

Karl Rove is a leading practitioner of the existentialist philosophy and he makes things happen the way he wants them to unfold or he sits it out. Karl Rove isn’t going to put all his bets on something that might happen. What would happen to this elaborate scenario if, hypothetically speaking, two candidates see a deadlock developing and form a mutual aid alliance and join together to make a complete ticket package with an unbeatable number of committed delegates? If Rove decides to play an active role in the selection of the Republican Party’s Presidential Candidate, he ain’t gonna rely on luck to get his guy the prize. If Karl “the architect” Rove is half as good as nationally known pundits hint that he is, he’ll go into Miami with the nomination a done deal.

What makes the World’s Laziest Journalist think that he can make an accurate assessment of the situation while all the best paid political reporters play dumb? (Glad you asked.)

Here are three clues: When JEB spoke recently at a convention of Educational specialists in San Francisco, his opening act was Rupert Murdoch. Two: Karl Rove has been working for the Bush family since 1973. Some Liberal pundits think that Rove had a covert role in engineering Republican Presidential wins in 2000 and 2004. (If he has done it before; can’t he do it again?) Three: the electronic voting machines with unverifiable results could seal the deal in both some critical primary elections and the Presidential election in November of 2012.

With those factors working for JEB, shouldn’t the national political analysts making a lucrative living at reporting election results that are surprise upsets that contradict the best pre-election polling surveys, be able to see how Karl “the architect” Rove could deliver a premeditated political blitzkrieg? Since all news reports about the Iowa caucuses include a notation that no one seems to understand the process, maybe someone as astute as Karl Rove could game the system and score a win for JEB at the beginning of January?

He would then ask his well trained friends in the journalism industry to deliver (cue the dog and pony metaphor) an avalanche of news reports that declare (ex cathedra style?) that America has forgiven the Bush family any lapses in judgment by Dubya and that skeptics (moi?) are being presented with irrefutable evidence of a groundswell of support for JEB.

As currently scheduled, January will end with the Florida Primary. Gee, do ya think that Karl Rove would have to resort to an extensive level of chicanery to deliver a JEB win in that state?

In November of 2011, saying that JEB might be used to break a deadlocked Republican convention is a stealth way of bypassing a debate about the bad “brand name” factor attached to a guy named Bush. When (not if) he has a “groundswell” movement being reported extensively in the mainstream media in February of next year, then any objections about the liability of the family name will be moot.

The media loved the tea bagger’s antics but were quick to report the dangers to health and safety presented by the Occupy Protests. Why the difference?

The world will little note nor long remember any accurate JEB predictions we make here, but on a cold November morning in a sleepy quiet University town what else can a columnist do but make an effort to become the Hans Brinker of internet American political punditry?

We could, instead, write a column about the two-mile island of trash that departed from the scene of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan some months ago and is being carried by the Pacific Ocean current towards the West Coast of America but wouldn’t that be a bit like writing a movie review with a spoiler for the lede?

How about a column that points out the possibility that the raids on the various Occupy encampments always come at night might have been inspired by the similar tactic used by German Police before WWII?

An Oakland resident has suggested that we should do a column about the need to rewrite the Constitution. He points out that some European countries have managed that feat.

We could write a column about the recent trial balloons suggesting that it may be time to privatize Veterans Health Care.

Is it true that Fox played video of the policeman at UC Davis defending himself from the out-of-control protesters sitting on the ground in front of him with the only audio being ♫ Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries? Didn’t the newsbabe follow it up with the comment “I love the smell of pepper spray in the morning!”?

Didn’t a Fox newsbabe make an observation that pepper spray is made from food? Wasn’t that also true of mustard gas?

Perhaps, it would be more apropos to write a column about Life magazine’s 75th birthday? We would use that column to ask: Why hasn’t Life magazine (and Youtube?) and other well known photo brand names such as Kodak and Nikon, joined together to build an indispensable aggregate Internet web site for news still photos and videos? (Just like they did for print media and news photos all those years ago.) They could become the image Internets version of what Huff-Po does with words (i.e. news briefs and opinion pieces).

Should the World’s Laziest Journalist write a column asking if the Columbia Review of Journalism noticed that (according to a recent radio news report) ten news groups in their hometown filed a complaint that the NYPD, during the raid on Zoo-cati park, temporarily suspended the Constitutional guarantee of a free and unfettered Press in America? Hell if the CJR doesn’t care, why should this columnist? Didn’t Germany get along very well before WWII without a Free Press?

If, as some lunatic conspiracy theory nuts would have you believe, the United States is heading toward becoming a fascist state, will it be a “flip a light switch” style binary change or will arrive slowly and gradually (cue the Ansel Adams concept of a gray scale?)? Will some hysterical blogger use the Cheshire cat’s disappearing act as a metaphor?

Speaking of lunatic conspiracy theory nuts, a reliable source has tipped us to the fact that the R&D department over at the Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory is working on the idea that if the Republicans want to revert back to a Fascist Republic (for which it stands) rather than a Democracy; it might be very convenient for them if Marshal Law is invoked by a Liberal Democratic President of Pan-African heritage rather than some Sturm und Drang Republican. He could use the rocks and bottle throwing (dirty) hippies in the Occupy movement as a convenient excuse.

The President promised change and America has gone from “Don’t taze me, bro” to mace in the face. Who used to say: “Progress is our most important product.”?

St Ronald Reagan used student unrest (as exemplified by the image of a student speaking on top of a police car at UC Berkeley) to establish his credentials as a conservative Republican worthy of being that Party’s Presidential nominee. Is it too much of stretch to imagine that if he were still alive today, he would go over to the UC Davis campus and urge: “Madam Chancellor, tear down this tent city!”?

Doesn’t a school administrator who apologizes for using pepper spray look pathetic when compared to a California governor who declared: “If it takes a bloodbath to end this dissention, let’s get it over with.”? How is Occupy Kent State going?

Now the disk jockey will play Hank Williams Jr.’s “Carrin’ on a family tradition,” Jerry Reed’s “When you’re hot; you hot,” and The Stones’ “Street Fightin’ Man.” We have to go see what odds the bookies in Vegas are giving for bets on JEB as the next President. Have an “expect the unexpected” type week.

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