October 1, 2012

Nothing but Net: Winners & losers in a war on Iran

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Jane Stillwater @ 4:36 pm

My head is currently all filled with lists of things that I will need to do in order to get myself to Cleveland to attend a convention for murder-mystery writers and readers But that doesn’t mean that I’m deaf, dumb and blind to what else is going on in the rest of the world. It seems that Benjamin Netanyahu is still just as busy trying to drum up a war with Iran as George Bush used to be back when he was trying to get us to bomb the heck out of Iraq.

According to Middle East expert Ira Chernus, “Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, addressing the UN General Assembly, ‘warned that by next summer Iran could have weapons-grade nuclear material.’ Then came a clip of Netanyahu, trying to sound chilling: ‘At stake is the future of the world. Nothing could imperil our common future more than the arming of Iran with nuclear weapons.’ Nothing?, I wondered. Not even the melting of the polar ice caps, or a huge spike in global food prices, or an accidental launch of one of the many nukes that the U.S. and Russia still keep on hair-trigger alert?”

So here is another big murder-mystery. Why in the world would B-Net want to unilaterally attack Iran? Why is he currently shouting from the rooftops that Iran is such a big danger? Since its inception back in the 1970s, modern Iran has never preemptively attacked any other country — so why should it start now? Iran doesn’t even have to attack anyone. It’s already got absolute oodles and bunches of oil so there’s no need for it to go on the offensive. There is, however, lots of need for Iran to go on the defensive — against all those greedy types out there who are lusting after its oil.

But while Iran definitely doesn’t ever want to attack Israel, it will, however, defend itself if attacked. Yeah duh. You’d do the same thing if you were attacked. Hell, a two-year-old would do the same thing!

To make a long story short here, if Netanyahu attacks Iran, then Iran will fight back. Now just think about that one. And if Iran does fight back, then exactly who will win and who will lose? Think about that one too.

What is in this for the NetBoy? How would he benefit from an attack on Iran? He would benefit in the same way that GWB benefited from his attack on Iraq — money, power, fame, etc. I get that.

But what is in it for Israel? Nothing. Let me repeat that. Nothing. All Israelis will win from a war on Iran will be death and fear and two generations’ worth of work at building its version of Tel Aviv from a few shabby immigrant kibbutzes into a city famous for its nightclubs, parties and beaches. All that hard work will be down the drain and turned into rubble.

A war on Iran will not be a win-win situation for both Israel and Nettie. It will be a win-lose situation, one where the Yahu himself wins big, goes off to New York City and lives like an exiled prince after the dust has settled on Jerusalem — but Israel itself loses bigtime.

Or perhaps Benny will just go join Dubya and they both can hang out in the upscale malls of Dallas, reliving their glory days for anyone who will listen.

“But Jane,” you might say, “perhaps there won’t even BE a war on Iran.” Not if our Netele can help it. If it is up to him — and it appears to be — there will be nothing but Net.

Benjamin Netanyahu needs to step back, take a deep breath and remember that, “Life is a competition and the winners are the ones who do the most good deeds” — not the ones who callously cause the senseless deaths of hundreds, thousands or possibly millions of living human beings.

PS: What the freak is there to do in Cleveland these days? I mean besides go to the convention, visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and sit around in my hotel room watching tons of mendacious and slimy Republican election attack ads paid for by the Koch brothers and Citizens United and Karl Rove?


Netanyahu for president of the U.S.?

I bet that the Republicans are literally kicking themselves right now because they are stuck with Ryan and Romney for their presidential candidates when they could have had the REAL neo-con goods: Benjamin Netanyahu!

“But he wasn’t born in America and neither of his parents are Americans either,” you might say. No problem. Have facts ever stopped the GOP before?

Just think how the Repubs’ bosses would droll at the thought. War with Iran within 24 hours after inauguration? What’s not to like about that! Especially if your are a weapons manufacturer or an oil company.

“But what about Israel?” you might ask. “Won’t it be bombed to toast in the process?”

“Who cares about Israel,” our Netl would tell David Letterman and Meet the Press. “America is now my own, my native land.” But then the NetBoy never really cared much for Israel or Jews in the first place. He always did have bigger fish to fry.

But, wait, it’s not too late for the Republican 1%! Romney and Ryan are clearly on the skids right now — so they could be easily be dumped and no one would care. And although they could still steal the election for Romney and Ryan with a little help from vote-tampering in the nine most important swing states, wouldn’t it be truly better for Wall Street and War Street if there was “Nothing but Net” in the White House come January?


January 14, 2012

Bizarre News: What American corporatists are getting away with now

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Jane Stillwater @ 11:45 am

Bizarre News: What American corporatists are getting away with now

After I got my long hair caught in a vacuum cleaner the other day, my first thought was pure terror — like I had just been attacked by werewolves or vampires with claws! But then my second thought was, “Gee, at least I HAVE a vacuum cleaner”.

Despite the recent huge economic downturn, most Americans are still relatively well-off right now, even me. Sure, our infrastructure sucks eggs and we mostly have run-down schools and hospitals, but at least we still have them. Old and run down. But still functioning at least.

But wait! Perhaps help for our hospitals is finally on the way! Is it really true that American corporatists have recently decided to spend over nine billion dollars to build at least 20 brand new state-of-the-art hospitals in Georgia? According to RT News, yes indeed this is true.

The only problem here, however, is that the corporatists who currently own our country are now in the process of building these 20 wonderful new hospitals in the former Soviet-bloc state of Georgia — not in the American state with the same name that’s famous for peaches and Braves.

How bizarre is that news?

And now I’ve just read where American corporatists have recently sent in the U.S. Coast Guard to break up a strike by American longshoremen. That’s even more bizarre than getting one’s hair sucked into a vacuum cleaner — and even more painful. One can always just cut one’s hair off, but forcing America’s military to act like low-life strike-breaking scabs? That’s a cut to our democracy that may never heal.

ILWU members had been promised jobs in Longview as a priority condition for allowing corporatists to receive massive federal subsidies to build a new terminal at the Washington state port. But after the terminal was safely built, greedy corporatist slugs then fired the longshoremen’s union members point-blank — and not only got away with it but used the U.S. military as their own personal enforcers and thugs.

Am I the only one that finds this news a bit bizarre?

American coproratists seem to be getting away with EVERYTHING these days. Cheating on elections, throwing people out of their homes, never paying taxes, robbing our treasury blind, fighting undeclared wars for fun and profit on our dime, beating protesting citizens with clubs, buying off Congress, etc. But almost nobody in America seems to want to stop them.

Here’s more bizarre news — Stephen Cobert’s video explaining how corporatist superPACs steal our elections:

Had enough yet? Or do you want to read some even more bizarre news about what corporatists are getting away with now? Yes? Then take a long look at this: The unassailable New York Times, the esteemed Gray Lady herself, recently reported that the IAEA had accused Iran of using its nuclear program to develop military weapons. But guess what? The IAEA had said no such thing. Now the esteemed Gray Lady has lied to us (again) in order to get us into a useless and unnecessary war (again) that would only benefit corporatists.

Very deja vu. Very bizarre.

But — to me (but apparently to nobody else) — this is the absolute most bizarre news of all: Perry, Santorum, Obama, Romney and even Newt Gingrich and JEB Bush are all running on a platform of being good Christians. Huh? What?

NO ONE who either calls for the bombing women and children in Asia, the Middle East, Africa and America — or is actually out doing it — can EVER call himself or herself a good Christian. Ever. These people are no more good Christians than was Attila the Hun.

Send drones to kill babies? Where in the Bible does it say that Jesus did that?

Leaving the meek of the earth to starve to death and the peacemakers of the world to be jailed? Jesus is down with that too? Not!

“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” said Jesus. Beating down non-violent OWS protesters with pepper spray, tear gas and truncheons? NOT CHRISTIAN. Not Christian at all.

Yet no one seems to be calling these monsters out on their uber-hypocracy. No one calls them out at all. That’s bizarre.

And it’s also rather bizarre that all these corporatist presidential candidates are happily telling us that they are in favor of “Democracy”. There is NOTHING less democratic than a corporation. Face it, CEOs are tyrants. Corporatists worship the dictatorship model. To tell us that they want America to remain a democracy is absurd.

Corporatists by definition are top-down kinds of guys, “Do what I say or else you will lose all.” Corporatists by definition are bullying-type authoritarians who spit on America’s treasured democratic principles — and don’t you ever forget it!

Now let’s turn to the comic-page section of the news.

The average American today seems to more and more resemble that Peanuts cartoon character Charlie Brown — always trusting that somehow Lucy will let him finally kick the football. But guess what? No matter how many times you vote for the party of Bush-Obama-Romney-Santorum-Clinton-Paul or believe mainstream media reports or trust corporatists to finally hold the ball upright, you are still gonna get tricked every time. And you’re still gonna land flat on your face while corporatist secretly laugh at you as you lie there in the mud. And it’s still gonna hurt.

How’s that for bizarre news?


January 9, 2012

A war on Iran? Let’s do it!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Jane Stillwater @ 3:18 pm

[Author's note: For the wiser of us, this article may appear to be a satire but for the rest of us, a war on Iran might actually seem more like a macho wet-dream come true -- once again confirming Plato's most excellent cave theory...]

Let’s put our money where our mouth is, stop constantly blathering on about how desperately we want to launch a war on Iran — and just do it. I’m bored with life anyway — and there’s really not much else going on between now and when the next season of “Survivor” starts up.

Almost all of the Republican presidential candidates this year seem to be rabidly in favor of a war on Iran (except, of course, for Ron Paul — but he’s never given any media airtime so he doesn’t count). So let’s vote for Romney or Gingrich or Santorum or that GOP wannabe Obama or Perry or whoever. I’m tired of just playing video-game wars and watching war movies. I want to see the real thing. Again.

Republicans, GOP wannabes and their corporatist buddies on Wall Street already have an excellent “make-a-war” track record. They’ve already gotten us into that bloody, expensive and deadly war on Iraq, that terrible, unnecessary and grisly war on Afghanistan, and that truly weird war on Libya wherein Al Qaeda was actually our ally.

When it comes to starting exciting-but-disastrous wars, Republicans and corporatists have turned out to be real pros. So, pretty pleeze, give these cool-crazy dudes yet another shot at getting us into yet another meaningless, expensive and bloody war — this time a war on Iran. I can hardly wait! How exciting is that!

Do you ever watch TrueBlood on TV? And don’tcha just love it when they stage their vampire wars? Lots of carnage, lots of blood. Very entertaining. But a war on Iran would be even better — another American vampire war on the Middle East, only ours are fought with real blood.

Go ahead, guys. Get this war started. Entertain me.

And when things go awry like they always do during wartime, then you and me will probably be dead too — when corporatist vampires start sucking blood from us as well as from Arabs and Persians. Go ahead, bite me!

Can’t you just hardly wait for this next war to start?

And it looks like we’re not gonna have to wait very long either.

According to WhiteOut Press, “In one of the most blacked-out stories in America right now, the US military is preparing to send thousands of US troops, along with US Naval anti-missile ships and accompanying support personnel, to Israel.” U.S. boots on the ground in Israel? What? Now all of a sudden the IDF isn’t good enough for Ehud Barak and he wants our boys over there too?

But why?

The poor enslaved Palestinians have already been subjugated and subdued by the IDF to the point of embarrassment (it’s getting harder and harder these days for Israeli corporatists to pretend that Israel is in danger — or even a democracy or even barely Jewish), so obviously our troops won’t be needed to enslave more Palestinians or steal more of their land. That’s already a done deal. So perhaps this sudden need for U.S. missiles and U.S. troops on the ground indicates that our Ehud might want Washington’s help in enslaving and subduing Iran as well — turning it into yet another open-air prison like Gaza.

According to Israeli journalist Uri Avnery, however, that’s never going to happen and we’re all gonna end up with a swamp of a war instead because if America and Israel do attack, then Iran will simply block the Strait of Hormuz — and there’s not much that even American vampires can do about that.

“Still the Iranian missiles will come in,” writes Avnery, “making passage through the strait impossible. What next? There will be no alternative to ‘boots on the ground’. The US army will have to land on the shore and occupy all the territory from which missiles can be effectively launched. That would be a major operation. Fierce Iranian resistance must be expected, judging from the experience of the eight-year Iraqi-Iranian war. The oil wells in neighboring Saudi Arabia and the other Gulf states will also be hit. Such a war would go far beyond the dimensions of the American invasions of Iraq or Afghanistan, perhaps even of Vietnam.”

Yay! Bring it on!

According to Middle East expert David Pratt, “Some European countries, notably France, seem keen to fall in behind Washington’s sanctions bill signed by President Barack Obama on December 31. Earlier this week French Foreign Minister Alain Juppe urged EU countries to follow the US lead in freezing Iranian bank assets and imposing an embargo on oil exports.”

Oh goody! Now Europe wants to get in on the action too! Now we’ll all die for sure as the war on Iran begins to expand and sweep across the rest of the Middle East, Israel AND Europe — and then possibly on to America as well, probably leaving only those One Percent guys alive in their bunkers and in a good position to snatch up whatever pieces of prime real estate that are still left standing.

And I’ll have my own piece of prime real estate too — the plot next to my parents at Skylawn. Face it, guys. I always wanted to be a zombie — and here’s my big chance! Grateful dead, move on over.

“But Jane,” you might ask, “why are you being so pessimistic? All those experts are wrong and the Repubs are right. America can easily win a war on Iran.” Nope, nope, nope. Iran is not just some camel-driven economy that is barely out of the stone age. Tehran is as civilized as Paris or Rome. I’ve been there, I’ve seen the place. It’s got the internet and traffic gridlock and everything. It’s even got Gucci, Benneton and Calvin Klein!

Iran also has at least 20 submarines and all kinds of missiles. Should America or Israel attack Iran, there would definitely be a hot time in the old town tonight. And not just in Tehran — but also in Tel Aviv, Paris, London and perhaps even Washington DC as well. Get out the marshmallows, folks! This war will definitely heat up. We’re good to go.

According to Global Research at, “The Iranian defense has the capability to sink not one, but many US Naval ships currently flexing their muscles on the periphery of Iranian territorial waters. Such an event would register with shock and horror in the US public mind, but worse, may be used by Washington hawks to justify a revenge nuclear strike against Iranian civilians. Both Washington and Tel Aviv have already raised the talking point of deploying ‘tactical nukes’ against Iran….

“Any nuclear conflagration by the US or Israel would most certainly result in a global backlash against the West – at its worst acting as a procession into the hot stages of World War III – or at its very least, re-balkanizing the geopolitical scene into a New Cold War, with the West on one side and Iran, China, Pakistan, and Russia on the other.”

Barbeque time? Oh yeah. We might even end up being able to roast hot dogs 24/7 almost anywhere in the world — or be dead.

PS: I recently saw a really excellent movie (here’s a review of it: about Freud and Jung and Jung’s mistress, Kiera Knightly — and they all got together and talked about Eros and Thanatos and the human mind’s bizarre attraction to death. Hey, I’m attracted to death too! Death is sexy as hell. But I’m obviously not the only one that is attracted to death. Apparently our so-called leaders in Washington are too.

Love or Death? “TrueBlood” or “Survivor”? I’m sort of kinky that way — bored of living — so I think that I’ll go with TrueBlood.

Which one will you chose?


December 24, 2011

Living in Interesting Times: Why our grandchildren are gonna hate us

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — Jane Stillwater @ 4:25 pm

I just started work at a part-time telecommute job that involves writing text for various online websites. And since my new gig only pays approximately one-fourth of a penny per word, I’m obviously not in this for the money — but I do enjoy its challenge. The boss sends me a subject to write about knowledgeably and I do it.

Here’s a hot topic to write about: “Why we live in interesting times.” In 500 words or less? I can do that.

We live in interesting times because World War I was a mistake and it killed off millions of people and polluted the air and gave us Stalin and Hitler as a result.

We live in interesting times because after the Great Depression finally made Americans thrifty for a change, we once again began wildly spending money on war, pollution and other useless junk. World War II was another big mistake. From Nanking, Tokyo and Berlin to London, Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima — hundreds of millions more useless dead bodies, hundreds of millions of tons of more polluted air.

Then came the 1950s and the rise of suburbs, the Cold War and the corporate hit-man. More death abroad and more pollution at home. More interesting times.

Have I reached my 500-word requirement yet?

We live in interesting times because the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Gulf War and the various recent Middle East wars — Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, etc. — have brought us even more senseless death and irreversible air pollution. And now the Pentagon, Congress and the White House have started beating their war drums against Iran, Syria and China. World War III? Seriously?

We live in interesting times because now we are going to have to explain to our grandchildren how we willingly squandered their patrimony on a century of brutal destruction, death, repression, and planet-wide pollution — when we could have been building an earthly paradise for them to inherit instead.

We live in interesting times because we are handing off to our grandchildren the mere shell of a planet that used to be rich in resources beyond anyone’s wildest dreams and a sentient world that is apparently facing extinction

And we also live in interesting times because, even as we speak, the military-industrial complex that now owns our government is still happily destroying what is left of our grandchildren’s patrimony while even more happily entertaining itself with fond dreams of more and more violent death and rank pollution to come.

But I’ve clearly written more than 500 words on this subject. Sorry about that.

PS: Here’s a photo from one of my granddaughter Mena’s several recent “Movable Feast” birthday parties. Mena is four years old already — and doesn’t hate me so far!


December 3, 2011

Madam Jane predicts: American wars will cause deadly climate change

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Jane Stillwater @ 2:42 pm

I just had a dream that it was the end of the world. So should I still go Christmas shopping or not? Why bother, I thought. But just to be on the safe side, I also asked the mysterious psychic Madam Jane for some input. “Are my dreams and the Mayan calendars and all those Rapture freaks right? Is the end of the world actually on its way? Are we really all gonna die soon?”

“Yes of course,” replied Madam Jane.

Oh dear.

“The amount of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere is mounting at a catastrophic rate and will cause irreversibly-disastrous climate change in the next five years — and by far the biggest cause of this problem is the U.S. military and its allies. Every time NATO bombs Libya and Americans bomb Pakistan and Israel bombs Gaza or a helicopter takes off in Afghanistan or a U.S. carrier fleet steams toward Syria and the Persian Gulf, we move one step closer to irreversible climate change,” stated Madam Jane, swaying back and forth with her eyes closed.

“Would it help at all if I had my car smog-checked today?” I then asked her hopefully. Madame Jane just rolled her eyes. “We’re doomed,” she replied.

So. How do I want to spend my last days here on Earth? Not a clue. If you knew that seven billion people had approximately five years to live before climate-change-caused floods started pouring in from our rivers, and deserts started taking over our farmlands and oceans started drowning our coastal cities and a dreadful ice age started to set in, what would you do?

“I’d move to Hawaii,” replied Madam Jane. Not me. I’d buy hip-waders, ear muffs and really warm coats.

PS: According to a recent AlterNet article entitled “Game Over for Planet Earth,” we’re all gonna be fried like fish in a skillet first before we even get a chance to freeze to death or drown.

AlterNet says, “[Here's a] prediction offered by Fatih Birol, chief economist at the International Energy Agency: Without an effective international agreement to staunch greenhouse gases within five years, the door will close on preventing a potentially disastrous rise in the planet’s temperature.”

PPS: Madam Jane’s ominous-sounding and doom-like claim that irreversible climate change is only five years away is actually erroneous. And AlterNet’s five-year claim is wrong too. According to the Christian Science Monitor, irreversible climate change is already here.

“Even if all the world’s smokestacks and tailpipes were to suddenly stop spewing CO2, if all the trees everywhere were to be left standing, and if all the remaining coal, oil, and gas were to stay in the ground [and the American war-machine would suddenly stop spewing CO2 like there's no tomorrow as well], the planet would still be feeling the effects of global warming a millennium from now.”

PPPS: How can we keep cheering on American wars abroad — without bringing those wars back home to us too, like the recent violent shootings in Oakland and the recent pepper-spraying at U.C. Davis?

My Christmas shopping may just have to wait.

EXTRA! EXTRA! Madam Jane also predicts that the “American war” on Iran is about to happen too!

Remember back when, long before the war on Iraq was declared, millions of tons of war material was being amassed at various East Coast military bases here in the U.S.? Well, Madam Jane states that they are at it again. “Long endless lines of container trucks are currently pouring into supply depots all over the East Coast.” Oops.

Plus America’s bottom-kissing “yellow journalism” media is already geared up to make Iran look like the ultimate bad guy — just as it did right before Bush’s illegal invasion of Iraq.

And not only that but, according to Middle East specialist David Pratt, the video game Battlefield 3 has just come out with a brand new version — starring good old Iran as the penultimate evil villain. It just doesn’t get any more “War Profiteers Gone Crazy” than that!

And when Iran does get attacked, just THINK of all the air pollution that will be released! Good grief. Then Battlefield 3 will have to put out an even newer version — featuring deadly hand-to-hand combat with radioactive smog.


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