January 18, 2007

Married, not dead

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 7:59 pm


sex life dead






I see Carmichael approaching. She is 45 minutes late. Typical. What is not typical is that her usually stressed-out stride is relaxed. In fact, she’s got a shit-eating grin on her face. Did she sneak in a yoga class? Get a facial? Something looks different. Maybe she changed her meds. She rushes over and gives me a hug.

“I just had sex with E.L.,” she blurts out. I am speechless. She is my best friend. And she had sex. With her husband. I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the back. I am tempted to throw one of us off the nearby balcony.

“Morning sex?” I manage. It comes out more hostile than I plan, though Carmichael barely notices. Why should she? She just had morning sex.

“Oh my God, yes! Morning sex. Like a high school senior. It is too incredible. I had sex with my husband and I liked it.” I stare at her, incredulous. I haven’t had sex, morning or otherwise, in three months. Neither had she. I trusted her. I know it’s a free country and people have sex in it. Apparently even my best friend. But still. How dare she?



Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 7:54 pm


Mainstream Media to Bloggers: Bug Off!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 7:52 pm


The Internet has the mainstream journalists worried, and for good reason.

As the establishment sees it, millions of pajama clad amateurs are sitting at home pounding their keyboards and then uploading their uninformed, unedited and unrefined streams of consciousness, while print media circulation and TV News ratings continue to fall.

Accordingly, NBC’s Brian Williams laments that as the public abandons the mainstream media, the nation will “miss the next great book or the next great idea, or that we will fail to meet the next great challenge… because we are too busy celebrating ourselves.”

Despite the Internet’s manifest shortcomings, the Pew Research Center reports that in November, 2004, 29% of the adult population was getting its news from the Internet.

Pickles Bares All In Explosive Interview

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 7:48 pm


Virt: Let’s start with the war in Iraq. As you know, the justifications for the war have shifted repeatedly over the last four years and virtually all of them have proved to be either wrong or flat-out lies. In your opinion why did the president invade Iraq?

First Lady: Well, I read your interview with Saddam Hussein and I must tell you, in all honesty, that the reason he gave was only partially true. Yes, George does have a small penis. In fact, it is a very small penis. However, the real reason he invaded Iraq was because Cheney double-dared him and George never backs down from a double-dare.

Virt: You’re saying the United States of America went to war with Iraq because Cheney doubled-dared the president to do it?

First Lady: Yes, that is exactly what I am saying.

January 16, 2007

Fox pundits claim kidnapped kids liked their ordeal

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 12:16 pm

Link Outrage? We are well past that. TrueCrime blog has the transcript, which I will repost below. I suggest anyone with any sense of decency demand that Fox be shut down finally, for pandering to pedophiles and child abusers by blaming the victim, in this case, the child: From TrueCrime blog, with emphasis:

Bill O’Reilly: You know the Stockholm syndrome thing, I don’t buy it, I never bought it, I don’t think It happened in the Patty Hearst Case. I don’t think it happened here…

Greta van Susteren: Woah, Can I just say something?

Bill O’Reilly: Yeah go ahead and jump in.

GVS: First of all we don’t know all the facts…

More than King for a Day

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 12:14 pm


…as the Vietnam war raged on, in light of the empty promises and limited progress following the 1963 march on Washington, King’s political consciousness developed rapidly.  Taking up the best message of Christianity and taking to heart the cries of poor, unemployed and underemployed, Dr. King spoke and marched for the dignity of labor and against the insanity, racism, and barbarity of war.  It was for this re-dedication to the noble cause, as explained in the parable of Good Samaritan, that cost Dr. King his life.

On April 4, 1967, exactly one year before he was assassinated, Dr. King spoke at the Riverside Church in New York City.  His talk, titled “Beyond Vietnam” was first and foremost a reflection on what he felt compelled to do as an adherent of the teachings of Jesus.  More significantly, King laid out his understanding of what needed to happen immediately as a formula for peace.


Wrangling Over War Plans

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 12:12 pm



Just days after President Bush unveiled a new war plan calling for more than 20,000 additional American troops in Iraq, the heart of the effort — a major push to secure the capital — faces some of its fiercest resistance from the very people it depends on for success: Iraqi government officials.American military officials have spent days huddled in meetings with Iraqi officers in a race to turn blueprints drawn up in Washington into a plan that will work on the ground in Baghdad. With the first American and Iraqi units dedicated to the plan due to be in place within weeks, time is short for setting details of what American officers view as the decisive battle of the war.

Ampol’s Sunday Gasbaggery

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 12:09 pm



Iraq and its discontents was the only subject addressed on ABC’s This Week with that little weasel, Georgie Porgie Stephanopoulos, although what addressing there was was the kind of casual wave you might hazard to acknowledge a person you hope won’t want to stop and talk.National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley presented the Bush Administration’s case for why Americans should not consider what the President told us last Wednesday evening to be just more of the same — or, in that currently eschewed phrase first made famous by this most resolute of all our Presidents, “staying the course.”

And what is different this time? This time “the military is in charge.”

I swear to the God of your choice, that is what the man said. Li’l George didn’t ask who was in charge during the previous four years we’ve been in Iraq, when the President was telling us that he responds to what military people on the ground tell him!

The YouTube Insurgency

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 12:06 pm


wage slave

The YouTube Insurgency is over, finished, defeated and as it will be remembered, LAUGHABLE. The Internet has done its job, and everyone has grown so tired of reading how outrageous the conduct of this war has been, that they have simply forgotten about the war, and most have not even noticed the real setbacks that have come to pass in the interim. Is your door locked? You had better get up and check.

January 3, 2007

Bartcop Poker Club

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 12:15 pm

We need a place for the poker players to ask questions and post suggestions and stuff.

Feel free to jump in.

Also, what would you think about a “Losers Lounge” tourney at 9PM Central for $1 or $2? 

Lots of Democrats are too broke to play $5, but they might play $2 or $1.

We might try that next Wednmesday – see you tonight at Tournaments -> Private -> Poker Table #10673095

New, better contest

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 11:25 am

Sorry about the anti-Hillary contest.

I need to remember to make the contests concrete and definitive, so here’s one:

Our good friend Lewis Black was arrested in Baltimore in 1997 for a felony and had to do a little time. What’s the name of the cop who busted him?

The last pound of South’s Finest Chocolate from 2006 goes to the first correct answer and you must answer HERE so the blog will take care of the time posting.

I need the cop’s name.

Hint: He was arrested at a race track.

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