November 15, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Miller Shills for the Wasilla Chinchilla on Billo and Other Atrocities Edition

Plus a Weird Election 2008 Factoid and a Plea to the GOP

“In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.”
– H.L. Mencken

Gov. Snowjob said on Larry King Nov. 12th that there is nothing wrong with “calling people out” on their past associations, defending her lame McCarthyite attempts to link Obama to Bill Ayers and the Weather Underground. She added that she expected she would be called out on hers as well. Good. Let’s see, she’s openly palled around with and supported for reelection convicted felon Sen. Ted Stevens, corrupt ex-Governor of Alaska Frank Murkowski, and she’s married to a former member of the Alaska Independence Party, a group that despises and wants to secede from the United States. Imagine if Obama had strongly supported two crooks and his wife once belonged to an organization that hated America? C’mon, Big Media, time to apply some fairness here, and Sarah asked for it.

Speaking of Sarah the Terror: Miller and Palin, Sittin’ in a Tree:

“Listen, she’s a great dame. People are fascinated by her because the left hate her. I think the left hate her — mostly women on the left hate her, because to me, from outside in, it appears that she has a great sex life. All right? I think she has non-neurotic sex with that Todd Palin guy. I think most of the women on the Upper East Side, their husbands haven’t been aroused since Mailer signed copy [sic] of The Executioner’s Song at Rizzoli’s back in the early ’70s.
“So they look at her, and they hate her. I think that snowmobile looks like mechanized foreplay to me, and that’s why people are fascinated by it.”

Dennis Miller on “The O’Reilly Factor,” Fox News, Nov. 12, 2008.

I remember when Dennis had a functioning frontal lobe and was even occasionally clever, but years of drinking, drugs, chickenhawk fear, raging ego and his wiseguy notion that he’d just jump on the money train of what he thought would be generations of Republican rule softened his gray matter to the point where he’s defending a vacuous Alaska opportunist he once would have gleefully impaled with humor. BTW, I wonder what ‘non-neurotic sex’ is — the Moose Mama ‘Missionary Position’ (that would be a ‘rear mount’) or the opposite of whatever you call it when Miller picks up his paycheck these days?

My sympathies to the frustrated Mrs. Miller, if she’s still around – married to a goofball who thinks snowmobiles equate with foreplay can’t be a pleasant existence.

It’s was so bad even Billo took note of what had surfaced in his ‘No Spin Zone’ punchbowl:

“Miller, I hate to say this, but I think you may be beyond help. I think Bordello of Blood was it.”

This caused failed movie star Miller to orbit Planet Sanity for a brief moment:

“And you know something? He’s my president now. And I am not going to do what the left did to Bush. I find it unbecoming. I hope that Barack Obama does so well that four years hence, I am salivating to vote for him. I want this all to work, because I love my country. At some point, I make Lee Greenwood look like the Rosenbergs. And I hope he does great.”

As if what remains of the imbecilic Fox News True Believers would know who Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were. At any rate, then he camp-squatted all over that verbal fillip with:

“But I will not turn my back on George Bush. Today, 2,619 days since a domestic terror attack on this soil. Thank you to my commander in chief. …”

Hint to Mr. Metaphor-Rich Republican – you’re a civilian and you always have been; Bush is not and never was your ‘commander in chief’ — he’s your president. (Read the Constitution to spot the difference.) And what kind of 2-ton drop-safe has to fall ten stories on your head before you bail on the Bush Boy?

O’Reilly finally dodged out with:

“Next up, a viewer warning — I’m sorry I didn’t give you one before Miller.”

Dennis should have a yellow caution label permanently affixed to his forehead: “Warning: Plucked Chickenhawk. Toxic When Frightened By Terrorists.”

Election 2008 Weirdness: John Kennedy, a Republican, lost to US Sen. Mary Landrieu in Louisiana. Jay Nixon, a Democrat, beat Republican Kenny Hulshof for governor of Missouri. US Sen. Tim Johnson won his reelection bid in South Dakota while Blanche Lincoln, a Democrat, is still a US Senator from Arkansas. Oh, yeah, and John King continues to carp on CNN, for whatever that’s worth.

This is how shabby our Big Media is: While the Alaska Hockey Momster was dumping all over McCain staffers for outing her dumbnitude — calling them ‘unprofessional jerks’ for telling the press she didn’t know Africa was a continent and couldn’t name the countries involved in NAFTA — they typically passed up a golden opportunity to simply ask her to name, say, three African countries, cite the nations involved in NAFTA and, for bonus points, explain what the initials represent. ** (Oh, sure, they were probably afraid of asking her ‘gotcha’ questions.)

Time to Change the Law: No more last-minute pardons or executive orders. Except in dire emergency, the president must make all pardons and final executive orders ten days before the election of his last term, and those orders and E.O.’s must be made public.

Finally, I’d hate to beg the Republican Party for anything, but please nominate Gov. Clothes Horse as your presidential candidate in 2012, not only for the entertainment value, but also to help President Obama score a 49-state landslide.

** For any Wasillans reading this: Egypt, Nigeria and Sudan (where Darfur is) are three large countries on the continent of Africa; and Canada, Mexico and the United States are the three nations in NAFTA — the North American Free Trade Agreement.

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