January 26, 2009

Bush Executive Order Overturned Ninth Commandment

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 4:19 pm

[Do you recognize sarcasim when you see it?]

A review of George W. Bush’s Presidential Executive Orders has found that the Ninth Commandment has been overturned and it is now OK to tell lies.

Good Christina youths, who have always been subject to parental manipulation via the religious directive to always tell the truth as a matter of honor, followed by some very personal question about chastity and pot use, can now emulate the Commander-in-Chief and tell as many lies as it takes to get off the hook.

Lies make life so much easier.

If you want to start a war, just say that some country has terrible atomic weapons and are just about to use them and that you have no choice but to counter-attack under the principles of self-defense.

Need to do you buddies a big favor? Just say that a bail out of the banks is essential to save the economy.

Need to bust the unions? Just say that the unions’ selfish attitude will prolong the New Depression.

Need to avoid prosecution for torturing prisoners of war? Just say that you saved American live with the information you received via “extreme” questioning.

Need to cover it up when torture has become endemic? Just blame it on a few enlisted people.

Need to win an election? Just say that paperless voting machines are scrupulously accurate.

Need to show the world that you are not a subservient Bush family media whore? Just endorse Jeb without any reference to Broward Savings and Loan.

Need . . . ? Just tell women that you aren’t married.

Need a sales bonus? Just tell gullible folks that variable rate mortgages are a good idea.

If your children become unmanageable because they lie all the time, tell them that the story about an executive order overturning the Ninth commandment is a fallacious urban legend.

Winston Churchill once said: “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.” So if you wanna go far; you know whatcha gotta do.

Now, the disk jockey is going to play George Jones’ “God’s Gonna Get You for That.” It’s time to take a flight on a magic carpet. Have an “Are you going to believe me or your eyes?” type week.

Wait! The disk jockey is making a last minute change and is sending this one out just for George W. Bush:


  1. I don’t have the time for this, so great smear job. Again.
    But I can’t resist this: “President Reagan had, while he was in office, (according to two reliable sources) expressed a wish that the United States would have a new Great Depression.”
    I didn’t like Reagan. I’m not going to defend him. But I want you to produce your two ‘reliable sources.’ Oh, you can’t?
    Am I supposed to be surprised?

    Comment by grimgold — January 27, 2009 @ 1:12 am

  2. Thanks, Bob Patterson, for this listing of some lies that have gotten so common that some of us don’t even see them as lies anymore — just ‘political talk.’

    One correction: Your quote came from Mark Twain originally — “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes” — although Churchill might have borrowed it.

    Comment by RS Janes — January 27, 2009 @ 9:02 am

  3. There’s also this:
    My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results
    from too much government.
    Thomas Jefferson

    Comment by grimgold — January 27, 2009 @ 9:40 pm

  4. BP, Concerning voting machines, you are right on. And this is so simple – have a touch screen that won’t let the little old lady in Florida vote for two candidates, then print out a PAPER ballot that would be put into the box. Then record the vote electronically and at the end of the night compare the number of paper ballots with the computer tally. Further she could be given a code known only to her that she could then look up on the net to confirm that her vote had been counted. How easy is this!

    Comment by grimgold — January 27, 2009 @ 9:47 pm

  5. Grim, I like Jefferson’s quote, but I’d amend it in the post-Junior era to say that what government you have left should not be run badly.

    As far as voting machies, they’re kind of a useless expense. What’s the big deal about marking paper ballots, just as Canada and other nations do, and we did, and then counting them by hand? It’s cheaper and who cares if we have to wait longer for the results if they’re more accurate and less ‘tamperable’ than the voting machines?

    All f the computerized voting equipment is nothing but a swindle, IMO, to transfer public funds to voting machine companies like ES&S, and make the jobs of voting officials little easier. Bah — voting officials only work once every two years and the CVS are too easily to hack and prone to glitches to be trusted. Bring back the old-fashioned paper ballot!

    Comment by RS Janes — January 28, 2009 @ 3:23 pm

  6. RS I agree as long as we can do something to get away from stupidity such as hanging chads.

    Comment by grimgold — January 29, 2009 @ 10:29 am

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